Archive for January, 2012

When A Step Child Bestows Parenthood

For decades my fake offspring Jason and I did battle. I swore his mother was going to attend court with him because I’ll be gawd damned if I will waste my precious time caring about anyone who doesn’t give two shits about me. How oh how could I have been so un-fatherly and just how [...]

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A Shill For Every Window And Two Windows For Every Shill

Who is NOT forced into pitching something these days? Do folks really understand what they must represent? Or what that coerced representation will eventually lead to? Girls and boys going door to door selling for some big candy manufacturer who insists they dress up in fancy clothing as if they were about to help someone [...]

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Loquaciousness Drives While Smart Waits In Line On The Ride Called Planet Earth

Is it better to be born with the ability to chat folks up or be quietly intelligent? I hope its not obvious that I’m betting on the babbling brook route. Thank you, friend. Barry out. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/loquacious   

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People With Chomper Prosthetics Are Less Dumbed Down And Bad Tooth Brushers

Does Newt Gingrich or The Donald have false teeth? If they do I may have just blown my theory. Sheeoot, I could really use a couple of nice Polidents right now. Thank you, friend. Barry out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flouride_controversy

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Hammered Every Second Part 8: Get The State Working For You

Convince a trained attack dog to not attack you. You’ve got two seconds. One…twouch… Humans succumb to such conditioning too, so unless you’re a reading eye dog, listen up: 1. Be cool in all you do, even copish stuff. The first person to lay hands loses. 2. Fight stylish like. 3. Feesh nice in unexpected [...]

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Hammered Every Second Part 6: Everything Counts So Fill Your Boots With Better

Nothing has much meaning if no one remembers it. For folks who possess a decent memory the past can carry shite that we wish didn’t occur but it has and that leaves only two options: One – we try real hard to forget stuff which pretty much ensures that it will be driven deeper into [...]

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Hammered Every Second Part 7: The Voices, The Voices Are Ours, Ours, Ours

The piece of crap computer I am tapping this out from has no opinion about my intelligence. Even if sometimes I imagine that it’s doing everything in its power to piss me off and stop me from writing to you. This is relevant because today’s story compares how humans think to how a computer works [...]

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When That Thang Calls

The bus is not coming to wherever we are waiting. But somewhere along our route we will approach that place where we thought we where aimed all along only to find that circumstances required us elsewhere and before push came to shove we were moved to the front of some line by people running the [...]

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Hammered Every Second Part 5: Maybe That Stupid Bitch Is Somebody’s Mother

Lawyers around the world do not agree with the “judge not lest ye be judged” thing because so many of the beggars eventually want to be sitters on the bench not just called to the bar. For the rest of us not beating that path there’s no doubt we need to pay close attention to [...]

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Hammered Every Second Part 4: Get Your Degree

Piss-tanks and farmers about to be caught up in the gears of their combine need a Y. Y is important because if life really is just a series of unconnected Planck length time frames then we need a good reason to continue onto the next moment instead of the one right next to it. This [...]

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