I am composed of several distinct and not-so-distinct personalities.
One of those personalities loves a tune and no matter what, I cannot get the sound of it out of my head.
Okay, our head.
It must be loud as hell in buddy’s head though because the sonofabitch is driving me crazy in this one.
Anyway, these personalities can operate and will operate independent of one another.
And, like most families, some personalities don’t like the others.
Some get all into trouble.
All get some into trouble.
Like ying and yang, their edges short and snap and spark.
Only a couple of personalities are true bliss and unbelievable terror.
They be side by each on the merry go round o’ life, confusing the hell outa each other and me, the uh person in command. 😎
With that in mind, here is my personality roll call:
Name: Who You Are What You Do Why You Do It
Barry: Driver of Williams Bus, Head Driver, Loves me dat driving pal
barry: Mother’s oldest son, babysit n shit, oldest of five kids
Barry! Hellraiser, breaking rules, already followed enough rules
Barry!! Forgetful husband, stimulating conversation, feedback
barry! Oldest bro to four siblings, hold hands & don’t touch that!
Barry? Funny guy classmate, school improv, desperate for attention
Barry… Former workmate, now unemployed, irresponsibility bites
FuBarBarry Buddy ShitStick, mischief is me, gotta stir the pot no?
Berry Strangers best friend, help strangers for stupid karma
Barrie Stuck up neighbor, don’t talk to neighbors, so they keep distant
PussyBarry Captain BootLicker, crawl for comfort, to make it look easy
Berri Quiet husband of Kathy, keep pie hole shut, no jib-jabby talk
ShortCutterBarry Mr. EasyStreet, look a back way!, no one’s looking
barrie An old dude in the basement, hooked on kaizen good buddy, kaizen
Barree A kid who loans money, because I can save money. Others can’t
bigbare A technologically curious budding author, an author Dammit!
Dad A father to four children, water them, so they grow.
BirthdayBarry Party Boy, party cautious, that’s snot in the apple dunk
Grandpa Co-producer awhacka keedz, water with love, gettem hooked onit
Fuckface A bully’s target, shit my pants, then stab him with a screwdriver
FuckingFreak Punching bag, curl into fetal, two hits to the guts is enough
Bastard A former friend, called him out on shit, separate wheat from chaff
Homo Scaredy cat who won’t fight, stand there, that shit don’t work f’me
Faggot A bad soldier, want outa the army, can’t twist can’t bend can’t kill
WeinerBarry Mister Spoil Sport, suck my thumb, better watch & STFU
Maggot A civvie in uniform, look away look away, sticks stones words hurt
NotthebarryIknow Adolescent in principal’s office, school hates me
WhyBarry? Guilty As Charged, hang head in shame, it’s expected
IdiotFucker Car stealer, borrow cars without asking, Ima stupid cunt
StupidFuck Moron driver, maneuver handicapped, possibly retarded
SuperAuthor Hilarious man, wrote Barney’s Motel site, craves recognition
HowMuch?!Barry Cheapskate father husband, bitch re: cost, who gonna?
BitchBarry Party pooper, won’t drink on demand, too fucking tired
SillyFuck Bewildered guy, wondering why people are so weird, curious
OhBoyBarry Smart dude, acting brilliant easily, cause I can
AttaBoyBarry Mr. Agreement, always nodding yes, to get along
C’mearBarry Mr. Helpful, helping those in need, cause I can’t say no
CrazyBastardBarry Odd Fellow, acting weird naturally, cause I’m weird
YOU! Captain Avoidance, watching my step, my feet don’t have eyes
BarryFa’inLawDope Mister KnowShitAll, look smart, talk stoopy
OhShit Braggart Barry, talks a good game, seldom delivers
SourPuss Disengaged Barry, want to be alone, just because okay?
JesusChristBarry Boneheaded Idiot, screwup everything, non-thinker
AtsMahBoyBarry Best kid, what good kids do, need dat love man
BarryAlpert Trumpet player, last post & reveille pal, bad instrument picker
BarryTheKid Best adult playmate, play kid-like, cause ahma big kid
WorldSaverBarry Mr. MakeItRight, correct everything, a line is needed
FuckItBarry Buddy ShatUp, close pie holes, cause too many open
BarryStupidPlumber
BullyBarry Buddy Big Britches, whatever I want, ahm entitled to it
GodBarry Mister Altruism, partying with real blood, spilling mine for U
BarryCanuck Mr Proud Canadian, wave the flag, what…u a commie?
EarthlingBarry Human Bean, groan and figuring shit out, cause it’s right
BarryRobot Mister Sure!, doing what’s expected, shit don’t work if we don’t
BarryGoodBullshitter
BarrySick Mr. DoanFeelGood, avoiding something, cause I don’t get sick
SellerBarry Captain Sales, fridges to Eskimos, keep the wagon trains amovin’
FunnyFuckerAintCha Happy Maker, pulling smiles outa thin air, because
IgnorantMotha King Avoidance, do shit tomorrow, tomorrow’s another day
BarryPoorSport
FatherBarry Sir Responsible, get up get going keep going, rah rah that’s why
PoorExcuseBarry Buddy Wasn’tMe, dodging shit, it’s dodgeball 24/7
BarryWahWah Mister RightNow, a vocal needy person, so others feel useful
AhmOkayBarry Buddy StayAway, keep yer distance, I don’t need no help
BarrysNoMechanic Mister WontShutUp, knows everything, why oh why/
CareTooMuchBarry Pally BigHeart, care mor’n I should, we get marks fer it
BarryLittlePatience Sir OutaHere, livin’ important life, more imp. than yrs
AhmBarryOkay? Pal YouKnowMe, ahm everybody’s friend, at’s what’s right
BarryAhmOkay Mister YouNeed Me, forcing my goodness, can good b bad?
OkayAhmBarry Howdy Life’OdParty, acting like a stranger, I wonder why
BarryStrange Buddy ProllyRetarded, is this La La Land? Prolly my stop
BarryTired
Barry Alert
BarryAngry
BarryDissapointed
BarryExcited
BarrySelfish
Barry Proud
BarryEnvious
BarryJealous
BarryResentful
BarryHurt
BarryRevengeful
BarryConcerned
BarryNonchalant
BarryPretending
BarrySerious
BarryDelightful
BarryCourageous
BarryRunnaway
BarryGoodExample
BarryHowCouldYou?
BarryYerTheBest
BarryWe NeedToTalk
BarryDon’tWantToTalk
BarryAvoidingTalks
BarryTalksEnoughToHimself
BarryBeBetterTomorrow
BarryNotHereOkay?
***need to come up with 150 personalities of possible 360
The person committing suicide is not the person who should be pulling the pin but, of course, that person is a coward and horrible at crowd control.
Yo friend.
Barry out.
David Letterman – Hozier: “Take Me To Church”
http://youtu.be/63miJiYQBxU
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