Building A Life On Correlation

It was Joe what done it.

He’s the one or maybe it was

His first born son.

The cat ain’t eatin’ the cat food man.

I can tell from the mess it’s that

Raccoon Stan.

Course, I ain’t seen ’em

I’m guessing yo

But the the way I talk

You’d think I know.

However, I don’t and won’t listen so…

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



It’s A Big Wind That Blows Mud

A stink can be kicked up.

Dust cloud on a gravel road.

And a person can complain til the cows come home

Ain’t none of it lighten the load.

Gums a flappin’.

Toes a tappin’.

Providence nappin’.

Willingness sappin’.

Bad shit happen when

Folks say dammit, I know!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

The Machines Weren’t Talking

Mister Compressor, what you say?

Mister Grinder wants to play?

He wants to tear across my leg?

He wants me howlin OH MAN, FRIG!?

He makes throw him to the floor.

Makes me holler JESUS NO!

Mister Grinder blows sparks though

And where do you think his bloody sparks go?

In an open pail of gasoline so

I just felt her blow.

In Mister Compressor’s traveling show.

Now when he speaks, I listen.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


I’m Not Gonna Waste Your Time. In Fact I’m Gonna Make Some.

My god you’re good at hiding mistakes.

You’ve got the moves like a bad boy fakes

A right while wrestlin’ Kid Reality.

But The Kid don’t duck cause you telegraph see

And until you know this

You ain’t free.

There’s no easy ride for you.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Expectation Theory Works When You Don’t Want To

Someone pounding on your door.


Someone ringing your phone.


Someone scratching at your window pain.

Someone knows you’re at home!

My god it’s just you alone!

With your thoughts.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

If I Didn’t Have Me To Talk To

He’s in solitary refinement.

Got his big self on the line man.

Takes a long step deep inside then

It all goes away.

No tomorrow, no today.

Not a place he wants to stay

But he flies around and plays.

It’s a good life, he’s okay.

He’s his best friend.

Stood the test when

Doubt snuck in to say

You can’t do it.

Just quit now.

It’s time to suck up shame.

But his friend says



Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Ah Hah Hah Hah HAH! I Will Change My Environment And It Will Change Me!

Bitch got angry on vacation.

Huffy and puffy started

Talking loud and gruffly.

Got hammered and puked in bed

Made him brush her hair and said

I’m sorry for being a bitch

But these south roads have a ditch

The same kind that cause me fits

Back home.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Depression Is Your Step Mom With Your Passwords ‘n Keys

Yes come whenever you like and stay

Longer than I want.

Tell me my hair looks stupid and

My sunken eyes project haunt.

Whisper my life’s for nothing

That’s why my skills are few

Tell me it’s me and only me

Nothin’ to do with you.

You are good.

You are right and

You gonna snuggle me tonight

Cause we’re inseparable, you an me.

And there ain’t any sense in me breaking free.

Is ‘er?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Yes I Want Too Much

Oh my wants and my needs, they don’t match.

There’s a hellova hellova catch.

When I want something need comes to snatch

The fact that I don’t need it.

And what I am feelin’

Is a peace of me missin’

Which need is now dissin’

Asking who is cleaning up this shit?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.





How Assholes Cope

Jesus Christ people are stupid.

They’re stupid and ignorant

And ignorant of being stupid

And oh how that works for the assholes!

They glare at you meanly.

Gesture obscenely.

Say nope so serenely.

Just like you mattered.

Right after they’ve shattered

Your dreams about ladders

And climbing to the top.

Asshole says stop and

You DO man, you do man.

You do man, YOU DO!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



I Want My Stories To Speak For Themselves

And they can pay any fines

And do any time

They need to ’cause

They stand alone!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Why Every Improvement Comes Wrapped In Turd

The first thing that happened was shit.

Shit happened.

Shit got in everything.

And whether you want or don’t want shit

You are gonna hafta wear shit bling.

It’s back in style!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


There’s A Back End To The Funeral Business

Whatcha workin’ on these days?

Old Bill asked old Tom.

Got that widder there from main street

This afternoon to embalm.

And how’s the lineup looking?

Old Tom asked old Bill.

Still got a spot on Tuesday next

I’m tryin’ hard t’ fill.

You don’t sweat the small stuff Bill.

Doc says Joe Dank is ill.

And Joe don’t got no will.

Says Joe’s old lawyer Syl.

So we got time to kill!

Roared old Tom to old Bill.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Luke! Over Here!

Those dang magicians.

They say they’re going to trick you

Then they do!

Astonished audiences.

Devour the magic fable while sipping

White gloved witches brew.

They are at best confused.

Which reality to refuse?

The white gloves or their muse?

Ah! What’s to win or lose?

Just sit back now and choose

To watch the show.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.




With Their Headsets On No One Could Tell That They Were Now In Prison

Dude was looking nowhere.

There was nothing to be seen.

Dude could see but not himself.

Dude was in between.

(warm storage)

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

But If You Ain’t A Prisoner There IS No Delimma

Shit’s gotta work out for y’all.

Y’all done heeded da call.

Broke yourselves through every wall.

And lordy dat take some balls.

Whatever ya got comin’

Is y’all’s.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Pretend That Hell Is Real

Sittin’ ducks in a truck.

Sittin’ ducks in a truck on fire.

Why them ducks wait down to the wire?

Hot ducks see that the duck lords aspire

To a modus operandi of

Sitting ducks on fire.

You own your own ass!

Get it through your thick beak!

Don’t be sittin’ when ya should be duckin’!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Praise The Lord For Legal Gambling

Sumbitch took Bob’s rent.

Sumbitch weren’t Bob’s landlord, ya?

Bob want a double it up

His rent.

Bob feel electric luck

He said.

Advert told Bob COME!

Spoil ‘im like he’s number one!

For once.

Bells and whistles,

Winners yellin’ I WON!

Bob is want the rent and bit more fun…

But now Bob stinks like a son-of-a-gun.

A stinker on the run

From his truth.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

There’s One Set Of Rules For The Ruled

Rich or poor, it don’t matter.

If you listen to the mad hatter,

Your glass housa freedom will shatter.

And you will hafta stay at her.

So slip on your yoke and stoppa chatter.

What you think now,

It don’t matter.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


See The Good Lord’s Also In The Seestem

Ya got your no good guy and

Your hey good guy and

Your wasn’t me,


I’m in their club guy.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



Where You Live Matters


Now you live here.


Now you live here.


Where are you living?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

The Woman Who Invented Love

She said we need another god to bow down to.

One who can work over distance.

We need a god that will hurl bouquets of flowers

Or snuff your life out in an instant.

This god must facilitate purchase

Of all things great and small.

And it wouldn’t hurt if the god of love

Ruled heaven ten to ten

At the mall.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



Just Killin’ Time At The House

Maybe some wouldn’t call it murder.

Just Ivan doing what Ivan does.

The son-of-a-pupster kills

Always for fun and

Ivan kills just because.

Won’t look you in the eye past two seconds.

Thats all then he knows what you know.

He pretends that he doesn’t though

That you’re in control

But deep down its true,

It hurts yes it do.

You. Are. Ivan’s. Ho.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Lordy, How They Loved Them Some Bacon!

There were pigs downstairs and

In the next room and the

Whole garage was fulla

Them too and it was

Pigs in the morning,

Night and at lunch.

They seemed to like pigs

A whole damn bunch.

They stank like pigs and

Thought it was cool and

Their clothes bore pigs

And their hats and shoes.

Were made from pig hair,

And you don’t wanna ask to see their

Oinker underwear…

It just ain’t fair

How much they care

About piggies.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


That Place Between Thoughts

Lord you die so effortlessly!

Me, I lie awake wondering if

I’ll wake from this night’s slumber

Or is my number


See, I don’t know so there I go

Screaming all the way to sleep.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Lord Don’t Git Me Outa This Place

You sir, are having a bad day.

Not that it couldn’t get worse.

Instead of you smouldering brightly inside

You could be coinage in a goddamn purse!

You could be customer #1 in a hearse!

You could be crap comin’ out some stupid yap

The choice, Bubbalouie, is yours.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



Something Wrong With Yer Goddamn Link

Your site’s live.

You’re live.

Ninety-nine point nine nine uptime.

Your uptime climbs

If you don’t mind

Listenin’ to the whine

The endless whine of no tryers.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.




Get Fucking Angry!

Dude was upset way beyond pepto.

Shit was roiling deep inside.

He needed to take a dump in reality’s mouth.

Needed to holler bitch open wide!

Old mind fried.

Time to decide.

Who takes this ride.

Along with him.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Let’s Say The Road Curves And You Don’t

When circumstances change, you change.

When circumstances change, you change.


Circumstances have done their part.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

When Addition Stinks

Jesus you saw her comin’.

Knocked a table over

Opened that door.

But Jesus I see right through you!

Idea virus abusin’ whore.

Ya you’re a scoundrel.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.