Negotiations.

Were at a standstill.

Someone gonna wind up

In a landfill.

Deals were broken.

Lies were spoken.

Wish I was smokin’

A wee bitta calm me down…

People crying.

Promises dying.

No! Not trying!

This new thing.

With a dead ring.

Don’t you bring

It to me.

I won’t!

I don’t!

Eat that. Do that. It’s crap.

Take it back.

Or I will test your mettle…

What matters more?

Food or love…?

Can you get either one from The Lord above?

Does he smile on kindness?

And frown on hate?

Does God punish whiners?

Can God relate?

Does God say “Go in peace?”

Will he force a body out?

Can he summon up the wind

To blow baddies about?

Does he interfere in sports?

Like win a football game.

Or watching from the sidelines

When the losers go insane

Does he chuckle to himself

Musing, they think I’m to blame…

Does God help out at darts?

Does he affect the barrel’s flight?

Does he keep the deer from headlights

On the back roads every night?

Will God get you that house?

Did he make that little mouse

Eat all your cheese

Just to please

His awful sense of humor?

Hold your tongue.

Don’t come undone.

It’ll be no fun

If you crater…

You’ll come to, sometime later.

You’ll sidestep Mister Hater.

No bruising to heal.

No kids that squeal.

That grandpa can’t control his anger.

They put a choke hold on his whine pipe.

Took his sharing to the enth degree.

Stretched his Savoir faire.

Like they didn’t care.

He was broken, it was sad to see.

Then he rose up, off all fours.

A maneuver that would open doors.

He would live, thankfully.

He would let the beggars see.

That crying doesn’t work.

Cause in every sob there lurks

Alot of proof that jerks

Have us surrounded.

It’s time we found it…

The strength that lives inside

Where fears and hurt collide

Where the weakest you has died

And set the strong you free.

If his strength came from God, so be it.

When the room filled with crap,

He didn’t say shit.

He didn’t punch the air.

Didn’t kick or swear.

He just stood there

And took it…

He wanted me dead.

I wanted to die.

Split my eardrums.

Why God? Why?

Scratched my soul.

Ripped at my heart.

Crushing my will.

Just for a start…

Lucifer becons.

Lookit those eyes!

Think he’s done?

Got a surprise…

For you gramps.

He could see the sun

In the middle of the night.

He could glide through fear

On a single strand of fright.

He could keep his pie hole shut.

Kept his cool thru if, ands and buts.

As humans screamed into his face.

Calmness iced with grace.

Squinting at this place

Brimming now with anger.

Sensing all the danger.

Revealing none.

They come undone.

And through tears, they call him grandpa.

He picked his nose and ate it.

Drank juice straight from the carton.

Wanted what he wanted when he wanted it.

Nothing he wouldn’t fart on.

He howled the deep cries of the tortured.

Tears he would flow like pee.

Snot manufactured by the liter.

Outdoors he’d try to pee upon me.

But that fire in his eyes.

That “No!” without disguise.

I was ten times buddy’s size

But he would not give…

There was no “Uncle!” in his head.

We were fighting til one dead.

I imagined that he said

Ima wait you out, old man.

You’re an old time also ran.

Time had come for my new plan

To set us free.

Because I’m three. (Eric)

No blanks were fired.

Each round was live.

Devoid of aiming.

T’was nine to five.

Pulses race. (I can hear your heart)

Can’t embrace. (We’re torn apart)

Then these shells keep blowing up.

Fox holes nowhere deep enough.

Life gets short when things get tough.

And they do.

Shit’s going sideways.

Upside down.

Coming back up.

Comin’ back around.

Karma’s a bitch.

Scratches that itch.

Digga deep ditch

Becomes a home.

Livin’ off road.

Lighten your load.

Freedom is gold

Ditches not sold.

Just entered.

Finda way out.

Look hard. Look about.

Doesn’t scream or shout.

Cryin’ don’t work.

Hurtin’ like a jerk.

Meanin’ uncle Herc

Must change his ways.

And it can’t take days…

He’s in the ditch!

Oh man, do we have rules.

Sharing, caring, don’t pee your pants.

Wipe your nose and

Wash your hands.

Hitting is out.

Spitting is out.

We don’t shout.

It brings no clout to

Thrash about.

Eat your food.

Don’t take so much.

Quiet time and don’t you touch!

No reptiles at the table.

Comfort snake or not.

Sonofabitch will get away

And we’ll be in a spot.

Kids, your grandpa’s tired.

He didn’t get much sleep.

It’s taking all the old guy’s got

Just for him to keep

What little cool he’s got.

This narrow band of light.

I see it all alright.

Then later on, tonight.

I will not see.

The light will be…

Gone.

And with it goes my sight.

Goes away every night.

But me, I see it all…

When there is light.

Now you can skip the dishes

Supermarket, too.

You can’t skip these folks.

And they won’t skip you.

No sir.

You’re in their plan.

They got you I.P.

Unlock your housencar

Without a damn key.

They find your stash.

And your real cash.

They leave you smiles

All the dang whiles

You are acting

Like you;

Sure. Don’t. Know. Any.

Dealers.

Oh, you’re sooo smart!

Playing like it’s your show.

Giver giver you go.

All tbe way in fast mode.

Dreamin tho in slo mo’.

Thrashing from the to fro.

Road don’t go where you go.

Need another epidermis.

Better be in that thermos.

Gonna drink a new skin, me.

Slide a little more easy.

Maybe lean a little less.

Maybe settle, god bless.

Maybe be useless

A liitle less.

Maybe…

One hundred fucking monkeys.

Pounding on keys.

Slammin’ out language.

Typin’s a breeze!

Give ‘er you monkeys!

Lookit you go!

Bangin’ ’em fingers

Fast as ale go!

Monkeys ain’t slow.

No! No! No!

They’ll bite each other’s fingers off

Just to get ahead.

Show ’em that you have a heart

Monkeys eatcha dead.

They want what you said.

Typin’ out your word for word.

Only story ever heard.

Shakespeare, wasn’t it?

Jody shat his drawers

Again and again.

Wouldn’t stop crying

In his effing playpen.

Fell and skinned his knee.

Wrecked his goddamn bike.

Broke his crooked nose comin’

Second in a fight.

Knew it wasn’t right but he

Set himself adrift.

Often bit his lip.

Listened quite a bit.

Finally gathered, if

The cryin’s gonna stop.

You have gotta plop,

Your ass upon the truth

Evil’s on the loose.

It’s looking for a roost.

And you will do.

A nice purse on

Is not a nice person

And a nice purse on a nice person

Does a nice pers on not make.

They take what they will take.

Make you no mistake.

They got their sights set on

Your good to great beyond.

Beyond where you can see

But you’ll be there, bay be.

And they’ll be there, may be.

To greet you…

Just around the corner.

Right beneath the bed.

Underneath the toilet ring.

Dread, man. Dread.

Doesn’t turn your eyes that way!

Attention whore will have to say

What chu lookin’ at, you fag?!

Then choke you out

With kindness gagged

By weirdness and happiness and

Twisty smiles.

Squinty eye holes.

Splintered nails.

There’s no disguise.

When you get wise

To Lucifer.

Right here.

What a surprise…

A wee, wee cuppa mushroom tea

Ten o’fuckin’ clock

In the mornin’.

Make it through the day

Ever’ way I can.

Motherfuckin’ tan

Blacken out mah tats.

Got me no regrets.

Let ’em placer bets.

Whether cigarettes

Is bad or isit good?

Maybe shoulda woulda

Sent da money earlier.

Den da prize’d be here

Already.

She shit her pants.

Babbled all day.

Cried when the kids

Would not play.

What’cha gonna say

When they want their way?

Mama, eighty-five years old.

God, she was close to the edge all day!

A whiff could blow her away.

The breezes, they gusted and occasional storm

A tsunami was on it’s way…

Run for your life!

The expression I saw and I

Ran like hell ’til I

Could not draw the

Breath I needed, then

Panting, she heeded my plea

To stop chasing ’cause I

Couldn’t run.

Any more…

I was caught and I thought that

By catching me

She would be

A little more merciful.

But You Go Girl, she kept on going.

The amount of shit you have figured out

Is smaller than a hill of beans.

The path you follow turns this way and that

Straight through in-betweens.

Damned if you do.

Damned if you don’t.

You wanna stop but

The wolves, they won’t.

Who dat at da do’?!

Don’t nobody move!

Hafta fake ’em out.

Leave ’em onna hoof.

Raindeer onna roof.

Come out! Come out, Goof!

Man oh man, leave me alone!

Get outside! Outside my home!

I’ll turn on you.

May turn you off.

Course, then it be just me…

Part of me hated the bastard

Part of me wanted to kill him.

Part of me wanted to drink him up.

Part of me loved the thrill of him.

Kill or be killed.

Smiled as he said it.

Then off popped the tops

Of a bar with no limit.

Now guzzle and gulp and wake up Mister Big Head.

Now you wanna be dead, instead of living?!

What have they been giving

You down at the dance hall, prance hall…

Whatever you call it.

It is trying to cart you away!

Image: http://www.hahaprank.com/fake-barf.html

Fuckin’ buddy dropped out of site!

One second he’s beside me, the next, swoosh! I felt his hand brush my arm as he clawed the air, hoping against all hope that what was happening, was not happening to him.

I knew what was happening to him at that brush. His brush with death. Or at least near death. Or wanting to be dead.

Buddy knew it too. We all knew…

What we knew in that instant was that some of us were going home tonight, and some not. Buddy was in the “not” category.

Yep, this Halloween would be a harbinger for the remainder of buddy’s life because tonight, buddy’s future sploodged in a hole new direction.

If he lived, I thought, he’d be more cautious. Likely waay more cautious. He’d probably be much more skeptical about the supposed good nature of mankind, too.

If he lived…

I bet future buddy would watch his step more. And he would watch the steps of other people more, too. It didn’t help matters that he was a native guy and had already been through a fair bit of shit.

But whatever, up to now he had faced his challenges head on, with as much confidence as he could muster and even though we seldom thought about buddy’s race, or anybody’s race for that matter, tonight was about to change how we all felt about ourselves and people in general.

Why?

Because tonight was the first time that all the kids on our street banded together to send a message by exerting our minor influence on the meanest old dude in our neighborhood.

Tonight was icing night for a frog tossing, knock out ginger cake delivered to Senior Sad Sack of Shite the week before and the time had come to give BugEye Boozer the recogition he deserved…

***

The lessons of time teaches parents and kids about the ins and outs of tattle-tales. Both groups understand that tattle-tailors are often not well respected, usually not appreciated and mostly unrewarded for their efforts.

Adolescents, on the other hand, don’t contemplate tattle-tailors on account of their reality being made up mostly of games, gossip and grand exaggerations and even though our group didn’t acknowledge the risk, kid snitches were a thing and tonight the stench of that basic knowing wafted over us.

It just so happened that two of our fellow caperists were doing double time as Backoff Buckoh’s kids. Sure, they swore up and down that they hated Hammered Hank too, and they were right there with us on the front lines, catapulting frogs and supervising meat cannon logistics, so every cocked arm new exactly when Sir No Funnery would open his front door.

But, as it turned out, one of the haters didn’t hate enough because, well… buddy…

Was our cohort threatened? Maybe. Coerced? Possibly. Regardless, he was right there among us, creeping through the same cold, wet grass we crept through. Suppressing the same squeaky giggles we all suppressed. And ya, gulp gasping as we all fucking gulp gasped – while saving his own omission lying ass by being the furthest witness away from a good compadre’s murky oblivion.

Fucker.

See, what buddy and the best of us didn’t know, and what was to cause all of us – especially buddy – a great deal of emotional grief, was that the little prank we were about to play on Master Moron had been revealed to him.

Because you know what the old bastard did?

As twilight faded into that cool Halloween evening, Sir Sam SmartAss stealthily moved his outhouse ahead.

Image: https://www.parhlo.com/25-kids-secretly-plotting-revenge/

You do. You do.

It’s all about doing.

Baby, you do me in.

I don’t know where to begin but

Doing, it soon wears thin.

Dead guys with clean clothes.

Been there, seen doze.

Mirror bullets for Werewolves.

Stand back, the door’s closin’.

Touch Baby, but not those ones.

Those’ll just blow us away.

And Baby, I want us to stay.

Pretend it’s just another day.

Baby, we’ll take time to play.

Then this day won’t drag us out,

Put us down, make us talk mean.

It certainly won’t blow us away!

Honey…?

From then on we’ll watch what we say.

We’ll play the game.

If we’re careful, the same

Outcome will become the

Real one we wanted.

Smile. Nod your head. It’s okay.

You are going to hell.

And you stink.

Probably lower Eye Que.

Than you think.

You’re waay too fat

Tree hugger, you.

Allowing animules to

Crawl into you

Through barbeque sauce.

You ain’t lost.

This is home.

He niced his hundredth person,

For that week!

He coulda niced a hundred more…

But some folks didged and

Others dodged.

They deflected nice… what for?!

Show another playa you’re playin’!

At least…

Smile at a playa.

Nod at a playa.

See what a little respect can do!

But everybody head down or

Maybe talk out loud.

Maybe one more selfie given

Got room in the cloud.

Oh ya, you on prime now.

They got you, and hard!

What you want is what you get.

Don’t hafta try that hard.

Cause that’s your credit card.

Welcome to the spiral!

No screaming.

There’s this life

And that life and

This life and that.

Where you wind up

Twists on where you bin at.

You looking forward?

Or you looking back?

Time doesn’t care

It’s the ball that you bat.

This house was run by vote.

Votes ran this house.

Mom and Dad tallied the notes.

In this house.

They said every vote surely counted.

They would count and then recount them.

Then they’d say

Just like we said;

Mom and Dad get that brand new bed.

The tallied voting said…

And the votes, they ran this house.

Goddamn! It’s same show title three!

Well, watchers come and see!

You’ll shudder and tee hee!

Set disbelief so free

That it straps you on.

Eight seconds sooo long.

Sings your whole song.

Then with one buck

Sets you free…

You’re FREE!