Archive for August, 2011

Right After Ordering a $1,000 Happy Face Sign I Started Shitting My Pants

All my life I’ve gone too far. Said a little too much. Stayed a little too long. (or not long enough) And done shite I wish I hadn’t. But not all the regretful crap I pulled was bad. Not once people got over the initial shock and things simmered down, anyway. Still, my shenanigans caused […]

Jeepers Things Have Changed Alot. NOT.

Humans enjoy being fooled. We do it all the time by thinking that tomorrow will be different than today or that next week things will get better. Things don’t get better. Only people do. But they don’t do it very much or very often. Or without cause. Everyone has heard the admonition that history repeats […]

Trying Not To Overdo The Freedom Of Speech Thang

No one has to tell me to watch my P’s and Q’s. And I told my old man, too. Watch them, I said. Without knowing what to watch for. He knows but mostly he sleeps. Beggar. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Being An Author Absolves One Of House Hold Chores

Many people read. Few people write. It takes longer to write. C`mon, everyone can`t clean up their own stinko! Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

You IS Who You IS Where You IS. Isn’t You?

Satisfaction is optional, happiness is not. Happiness is the fuel that powers survival while satisfaction is the throttle which determines how much happiness we have to apply in life. Here’s an example of average unrecognized happiness: Dude hallucinates he’s unhappy because he considers himself to be a big, fat, pock-marked, ugly face lonely bastard. Dude […]

Even Very Small Things That Come Between Us Can Have Ginormous Effects

Ninety three million miles is a long way. Still, 99.999 % of the distance between the sun and earth has less effect than the last 100 miles of atmosphere encompassing our world. Clouds, devastating storms and all provision for life reside in that teeny space and here the suns rays are transmuted both into disturbances […]

Wasps As A Message Delivery System

At one time I paid for insects to be killed. One by one if necessary. Reveled in it. Bragged about it. Semi famous for it. Now they say shite to me? Mmmhmm. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Oh, put that life-jacket on. You’ll need it.    

One More FBI Warning and I’m Pirating Movies Until The Cows Come Home

How many times we gotta be told? Enough is enough, I can’t take much more. I’m bout ready to start making illegal copies of everything in site. Starting with myself. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Heaven Has Translucent Perimeters and Many Rooms. I Wonder Why.

Ask anyone who has expired. There IS a place called heaven or whatever you call it. It ain’t here but you sure can get there from here. And back again, if you want. (not many do) But the see-thru walls…? I still don’t get it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Say It. You’re Ugly.

This is a face for mind lovers. Its a fair description. Too fair, at times, it seems. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

How Do You Know When You’ve Fallen Asleep?

Whaaa?! People say this because trance states exist. In fact, you IS one. Thank you, friend. Barry out. (answer: only when you wake up do you know you’ve fallen asleep) AttenHUT!

The Tide Rides Cycles and So Do We You Unbalanced Moron

Up way big and way down swings the unstoppable swell in this ocean, this volcano, this street. And there on the surface, I see you, wait up for me, for surely we two folk must meet. But we don’t because each of us feel our own fear now, there’s nothing for no-one to greet. Stand […]

“If I Fucking Catch You – You’re DEAD!” Said My Father. I Knew He Meant it.

Parents and kids don’t always see eye to eye. And while it’s okay to disagree, sometimes HOW we do it is the most important factor. I learned early that I could push my dad’s buttons and one time hammered them so hard that he chased me around our farm with an axe. After ten minutes […]

Expire While Wearing This Shirt and Save 50% Off Your Funeral Cost!

Our world is facing unprecedented challenges. The largest and worsening nuclear accident in history, numerous seeming endless wars and corrupt economic crises of previously unimagined proportions. We are witnessing a need for human ingenuity the likes of which has never been known. Which brings me to the most critical question facing our species… What solutions […]

Keep ALL Your Blind Eyes On The Peas In This Pod

If Its Supposed To Be Rotten, That Rat There Is Good Eats The Hells Angels, Grim Reapers and Satan’s Choice are motorcycle clubs. The RCMP, FBI, CIA, SOCPA and CSIS are Law Enforcement clubs. The Canadian Armed Forces, The United States Armed Forces, and (name your country here) Armed Forces are military clubs. Under each […]

I’ll Friggin Well Do It When & IF I Want To

Freedom has a description. Like everything else, how it manifests is a personal matter but it always starts from the same seed. Partial evolving to nearly total control of our own life. Real easy to say, nearly impossible to do. Until we mark our own time. Thank you, friend. Barry out. S’all rat here.

I Hope Its Okay That I Shat In Your Water

Gotcha Right HERE BUDDY Drinking crappy juice is bad. Imbibing fermented fecal fluid when we don’t know it’s bin spat in is worse. Waay worse. Makes me gag just nightmaring about it. How’s it working for youse? Does ya feel anyting? Thank you, friend. Barry out.   Cause of Death: Naturally Cancer I truly […]

Hello Shunning My Old Friend

Ignorant is as ignorant does. Myself, I see it as more of an insulation from life’s experience rather than something akin to rude reality. This insulation stymies a person from experiencing what they know exists just the other side of a thin barrier and it realizes many forms. Indifference being the most common padding available. […]