Archive for May, 2014

When More People Become Alcoholic The Sober People Will Be Wrong Ha Ha!

Many folks know about normal. They get that they shouldn’t offend others but what  happens in Vegas better stay in Vegas unless they’re Las Vegans. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Yip. That’s what they’re called. Poor beggars.

Leave It! Catch It Later… (NO DON’T AND HERE’S WHY)

(Corporate training video on employee responsibility) Fake Keith Morrison announcer’s voice over:   It started out as a small pile of swept up debris. But, before long that small mound would turn into one of the greatest scandals to ever dust up the janitorial industry. It was that little pile, not huge by any stretch […]

Free To Do As You Please Still Involves Doing

Most folks are their own boss. They blame someone else for making them do stuff but without physical marks or a ransom note, it’s them. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Err, actually even with marks and a note, still free to do as they please. Maybe that kid was a bad kid. Maybe you should just […]

No Doubt About It, Wobbly Loved Dude And Dude, He Loved Wobbly.

Many folks dispise balance. They see balance as deadly boring and just deadly in that mankind must be moving ahead which entails traversing high and low because that’s a scout’s lot. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

You Should Have Heard The Music We Made!

  There’s a hellova EYENNN way off in the distance. Tearing this morning in two. Its a familiar noise from the ribbon of black. As rubber and asphalt unglue.   A jake brake staccato BURRR crackles early morning fog, Wrenching EYENNN abruptly into RRREEECCH! Now URP-UURRPPs for a second until the culminating SPAM! Then its metal mashy […]

All This Beautiful Meadow Required From Man Was Just A Hint Of Panic

Many folks know about anxiety. They describe it as a feeling of impending doom, bad shit about to happen or just the fear that wherever they are and whatever they’re doing is exactly the wrong place & wrong thing and this moment, no, now its this moment, is the only time it can be fixed. Thank […]

Oh, Evolution Drives Every Car? See, Dude Thought He Was Driving.

Most folks think through their eyes. They notice reality from the height of their peepers and each person judges this distinct reality as if it were the only reality & that’s why almost no one can understand the frustration of short people. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Mom! Some Rocks Broke Another Window And We Don’t Know Who Threw Them!

Most folks answer their own questions. They wonder why Jane and Johnny act like they do and how come their neighbors are arseholes and why, oh why does their life seem like some dramatization of a failed game show? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

The Tube. The Tube. The Tube. All Hail To The Tube!

Most folks are fat and tissue wrapped around nothing. They shove stuff into the top of the tube and, if it don’t get caught on something, it slowly falls or is squeezed all the way through & whatever comes out nobody recognizes or wants to have anything to do with because the tube has turned something […]

Your Subconscious Mind Cares About You As A Bag ‘O Bones Carrying It

Most folks have been startled. They were shocked by the gap between what their subconscious mind knows and what their conscious mind was aware of and after safely leaping from the path of an oncoming vehicle they thank their lucky stars instead of Selfish Sergeant Spooky. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

You Don’t Know Yourself As Well As You Think

Most folks have no memory. They don’t remember being thirteen  years old or that spanking the crazy neighbor foisted upon them when he caught them vandalizing his car for the dozenth time and they don’t remember that vandalizing shit either. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Who is this person with 99% memory loss? Could it […]

When The Fifteenth And The Thirty-first Don’t Mean A Gawd Damn Thing

Most folks owe money. They owe for their house, their car and maybe the stuff in their house & car and every two weeks lenders need to hear from them. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Okay, Who Am I Talking To Now? Kay Now? Okay, Who Am I Talking To Now?

Many folks know about personalities. They understand that like gears they switch back and forth dependent on road conditions and wheel person with some drivers better than others. Thank you, friend. Barry out.   Professor Willhelm clarifies Multiple Personality Order You see, a person can’t be both terrified and courageous. This is what us wordy types call […]

Yes, Dude Wanted To Pass The Baton But It Was A Mirror, It’s A Mirror. A Mirror!

Most folks know about ideals. They understand that ideals are like swimming for their life on account of they’ll grab onto any old bobber what’ll float ’em. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

And Oh Yeah, As Time Went On, Dude Realized How Screwed They Were.

Most folks forget stuff. They even forget forgetting if shit works out like it ought to. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Uh Oh, There’s That Blood Taste. Unless That’s Only Peas.

Most folks know about olfactory. They usually don’t know though that over time their sense of smell will refine itself into hints of ginger, that’s not ginger? anymore. Thank you, friend. Barry out. The Strokes – Reptilia  

“I Got This!” Was All The Sonofabitch Said Aforen He Leapt Rat Over His Edge.

Most folks have a breaking point. They know they can be pushed a ways past it but just how far depends on who pooshing why. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Woodkid – Iron

Sure Some Things Fell Behind But Hey Lotsa Guys Were Showing Up Drunk!

Most folks know about allowances. They are made for roadways and developments but not as often for sufferers of indifference. Thank you, friend. Barry out. No Church In The Wild  

Dude Needed The Wine To Kill A Bad Taste And Not The Bad Taste Of The Wine

Most folks leave an impression. They have little idea of what that impression might be though until buddy cuts them off on purpose in traffic because he thinks they challenged his manhood. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Lil jon: Throw it up

The Manic Felt Good Until It Did, Did, Didn’t.

Most folks know about moods. They understand that moods are like pools in that shallow works for swimming but diving needs deep. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Some daze I want to do everything, Some daze I’ve done enough. Queens of the Stone Age-You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a […]

Thirty-Six Forty Nine, Thirty-Six Forty Nine. Come On Stor-ee Five Too-sand!

Yep. I know its hard for you to believe but I have published 3649 stories on this blog. 3649 original ideas even if some of them are lies. 3649 steps to a no mind layman becoming a leading pontificator! 3649 inches closer to that big cliff called Jump For The Joy Of Yer Life! Yep, […]

Luck Don’t Always Happen To Dude. Least, Not Like Lucky Should.

Most folks believe in luck. They believe in it when they’re experiencing bad luck and they sure recognize it with good. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Does no bad mean good?

A Few PaddyWhacks And Backhands Later, Dude Did Change His Mind.

Most folks know about pain. They know pain causes  birth and pain causes death, usually dependent on amount and circumstance. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Simon & Garfunkel – Keep the customer satisfied

Captain Carenot Hardly

  Once upon a time a Man was shell fish, Blind unto his armor’s depth. It bore a brilliant reflection from within, Smeared ruins camouflaged old wrecks. *** For certain, this Man gave of himself. Just not in the right amount. Not in the right place nor in the right time. Because giving once given don’t […]

You Are Needed As A Back Door. Will You Open Up?

Most folks are being used. They call it helping out but those helped easily forget who helped how. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Everyone Wants A Transition But Few Know What It Looks Like

Most folks are stuck. They live between a rock and a hard place cause what they currently do and what they wanna do are entirely different things. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Sometimes The Best Time To Leave Is Right Before You Get There

Most folks know about absence. They understand that absence makes the heart grow fond but the moment absence bails, a seed of contempt is planted and nurtured by familiarity’s loving concern, it grows. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

That’s Waay Too Much Said Dude To The Plumber Trained In Pregnant Pause

Most folks know about emergencies. They understand that when their abode is filling with shit, piss, spit and a thousand unmentionables, over a barrel is their new address. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

When Yer Engine Stops, What You Want Is No Noise.

Most folks know about retirement. They have never done it before but bored they can’t do so by Jesus they’re hunting bear. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Queens Of The Stone Age – Burn The Witch

A Wee Bit Too Much Time Alone Allows Imagined Supreme Dispensation

Most folks know about purpose. They understand it is made up of mortgages, car loans and too soon shat out expensive dinners. Thank you, friend. Barry out.