Archive for February, 2012

Okay, The Voice Has Stopped For Now So Everyone Sit Dow… Uh, Wait A Minute!

Most folks can’t stop thinking about that which they love to do. This might be slopping the hawgs, addressing parliament or piloting Nascar vehicles but whatever the talent is asks little to no effort from the person accomplished on said tasks because that person doing what they love to do and getting praise for it […]

Two Strong Legs Plus The Wife’s

Most folks find out in short order that marriage ain’t for everyone. At least, not married to this person. Nope, marriages usually take two or three times to figure out and even then some people never get to the point where synergy intercedes. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

Dude Ran Faster Carrying Me Than The Two Of Us Could Move On Our Own

Many folks understand that someone has to save the world. Sure, it don’t have to be all done right this minute but we could start with your room and work our way out. Pretty soon everybody is picking their own shite up and getting organized because it has become a habit which puzzlingly requires only […]

Say Doctor Blind Doktor Can You Fix Me Up?

Most illegal drug dealers don’t sell to folks they don’t know. That move is a whole heap ‘o trouble jis waitin to fall on a nigga’s head should he subscribe to people invisible to himself or close kin. Medical doctors, on the other hand, sell pills to folks they barely know whom are driven by […]

No Unauthorized Loans. Unless You Ask For Them.

People caught stealing will be forced to purchase. Folks slapping other folks will be charged a violence fee. Payable to mr/ms violated. Its gonna cost loot to kick someone in the balls. Punches will be a dime a dozen. But a boot, gun or a knee on a human head will cost plenty, its no […]

Have Fabric Will Bolt

The thread of reality is so thin there may not be one. It might just be some scent we’re on the trail of and mayhaps its faint so we wander all over hell’s half acre before finding a stench pungent enough to allow followers to follow but we gotta do this before everything else ripens, […]

They Say You Don’t Play ANY Games? And You Don’t Believe In Hitting Back?!

Some folks are too confused to be able to initiate politics or second guess decisions. They are so immersed in the unplanned aspect of their activity that they don’t  have time to notice what Tom, Dick or Harry is doing so they pour grease on their struggle like there were no tomorrow only to find […]

A Good Inheritance Don’t Hurt Like This GrandPa

Per Capita Debt 2012 Most folks would be quite agreeable to receiving an inheritance. Unless, of course, that inheritance demanded their personal servitude for some indistinguishable time in the future and perhaps even wrapped their kids up in the same bullshite that their par / grandpar – ents strapped everyone and their dog to. Nope, […]

The Farces Who Managed Nine Eleven Weren’t Counting On David Chandler

Many folks have never operated a chicken farm but have no doubt, it is a pile of work. Especially in today’s chicken farms which can house up to 300,000 chickens that just like people can have their own individual challenges. Some chickens get sick. Other chickens cause themselves distress. Some chickens suicide and still others […]

You Can Learn How To Make Shite Up And Even Write The Whole Thing Down

Many folks get apprehensive when it comes to producing anything original. They shouldn’t because this is what we do. We stink a certain way and walk a certain way and even see things a certain way and just because it maybe isn’t “right” don’t mean it ain’t our story to tell so fack off with […]

The Bewitched Witch Had To Twinkle Her Nose While We Only Twitch A Finger

Most folks don’t consider how unbelievable normal is today. That don’t mean it ain’t. If the average 1985 person was forced to watch a “film” from the future where all they saw was this pimply faced kid looking into a very thin television while he moved his finger and hand ever so slightly for hours […]

So Many Good Liars Are Lying Today Its A Challenge To Tell Real Lies From Truth

President Obama campaigned and was elected on his slogan “Change We Can Believe In”. After attending a few of Oh’s concerts by proxy many folks around the planet are now feeling that the more things “change” the more they “stay the same” which ultimately equates to the majority of the crap out of “The Man’s” […]

Put As Much Shite As Possible On Fully Automatic

Most folks misunderstand that they already use systems and processes. They’re either ill-defined or unconsciously implemented but nevertheless, procedures are being followed – often to disastrous ends which by rights should illuminate less guilt on the part of the purveyor and a bit more responsibility on behalf of the implementer. More often than not this […]

Rooms So Clean Even Our Mothers Are Proud = One Hundred Thousand Per Word

The right choice of words is magic. My wife and I found this out as operators of Barney’s Motel in Brandon, Manitoba when we desperately needed to attract highway travelers as they flew by our little enterprise. The old idea of listing “Direct Dial Phones” and “Modern Rooms” stopped working long before & competition was […]

It Was The End Of Spitoons And A New Beginning For Dis-Ease

Many folks get ill due to keeping their emotions bottled up inside them. This unrecognized stress can lead mental instability and even manifest itself through physical ailments. Keeping a little too much of anything jammed up inside us can lead to a crabby disposition, cold sweating and even soiled undies if the kept crap happens […]

We Are Vaneesh

None of us will be in this dimension forever. That’s why most grave markers are carefully carved from stone with designs usually reflecting more contemplation than the lives they celebrate. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

And Please Don’t Say “I Knew That Already!”

Some folks repeat everything they hear. Others report only what they hear and spend much of their time trying to locate more upon which to report. Just a very few people watch everyone else and from those folks we’ll usually hear that there is nothing new to report. Only the names have changed. Thank you, […]

Big Gears Are A Meshing While We Teeth Are A Gnashing

Mature people know the world doesn’t revolve around them. Sure, there is a world and yes, it is revolving around us but the revolving is independent of us meaning that no matter how important we think we are, a new person will be sitting at “our” desk, swearing at “our” tools and living in “our” […]

Being Kicked Out Of Bible Study Ain’t As Bad As YOU THINK

“Heya, how’re doing t’day, Barry?” the young minister earnestly inquired. “Fine Pastor, fine. How you doing?” I replied, beckoning him into our humble apartment. “Good, really, really good,” God conveyed through the youthful dude, his eyes now locked onto mine with a direct-fulness normally reserved for discussing recently departed or soon to be departing family […]

Try, Try With All Your Might To Distinguish Yourself From Spam

Computers are so smart these daze that they alone determine whom is impaired or not impaired by alcohol. Machines also inform daily on whom is speeding or not speeding and nothing captures and twists the human image quite like the piles of camera machines carried in every agent’s Dick Tracy 2-Way wrist radio. Machines now […]

Then I Heard What No One Ought To Hear On Their Very First LSD Trip

Like many folks I truly appreciate my brain. Love it, even. In light of said concern for my grey matter, for my first (and unfortunately only) LSD trip I invested plenty of time choosing a flight controller and quality mind fuel and only fifteen minutes after powering down the runway on my inaugural flyby my […]

Something Is Rotten In Number Land & The Puppies Have A Right To Know

Southwest Airlines Accident March 2000 Inflation is a pretty cool financial tool that economic wizards employ to reduce the money supply. Its all very complicated but what it comes down to is: burying wads of officially numbered paper grimily rolled up in tin cans that should have been washed better had anyone any real idea […]

The 1% Don’t Give A Fack And They Certainly Don’t Read This Crap

Many folks spend time appealing to The Powers That Be. They would appreciate some attention and it would be nice if, once they had master’s ear, they might ask Herr Commandant why do dey be so dang greedy and could we have another helping, please? My hunch is that the bosses are far too busy […]

Its Death By A Thousand Coughs In Three, Two, One…

Something dreadful this way heads. Through everyone’s back door. Even back doors no one knew they had. But came she deed. So Qua… qua… quietly. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Everyone grab a nuclear number while they’re hot because tomorrow they’ll be hotter. How’s the cleanup ideas coming and are we all moving to another […]

One Night At Barney’s Will Cure You Of Sleeping Around

Barney’s Motel advertisement in local air show guide 2003 My wife Kathy and I had a ton ‘o fun at Barney’s Motel. Barney’s still exists (Feb 2012) and when we accepted the job of putting the business back on its feet we had no idea this flea bitten dive in Brandon Manitoba would provide us […]

“Yoll Fack” Is A State Of Mind Not An Age Group

Few folks have so much cool they can afford to lose some. But like dry heaving they wretch, and make all kinds of wild ani mal sounds as if they was caught in some kinda terrible trap. They don’t know that ignent passes where stupid can leave a mark. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

When 80 Percent Of What We Do Is Crap

Olympic gold medal connivers lose by thousandths of a second. That ain’t much. The Hunches tell me to aim @ being right on new stuff 20% of the time and that alone they say should quite likely be enough to put us on some road less traveled because few playas continue given the evidence they […]

Reflectionville & Past-Livers City – We Got Places Rentin’ On Both Sides Dat State.

Folks get over crapping their pants. They get beyond drooling. Before we know it they’re concerned about how long or wide trousers are or the color of their blouses. Life truly makes no mind whether we choose this route or that but rather whispers can we stay this course and live more right now than […]

There’s A Waay Better View And Bugs Galore On The Cow Catcher

It’s unreasonable to spoil life’s great vistas with barriers. We need to step up to the plate and either knock those beggars clear out da park or fling the mother fucking bat soo hard that any mitt the pitcher is wearing won’t be enough to stop that strike. And we need to get this thing […]

Actually, The Voice Said Have Fate

Many folks naively place too much trust in others. Someone’s gonna make them breakfast and flush the toilet when they change their towels. But one day a log awaits in the bowl keeping us separate from every nasty we may have affected and suddenly all the chickens that ever roosted here are instinctively compelled to […]