Archive for the 'Assholes Annonymous' Category

YAY! We’re Gonna Go Camping!

One blanket each and a stink filled pillow. Stop your damn crying, man, it seeds sorrow! You don’t like today? Well, you won’t like tomorrow. Buddy, you need thick skin… Weathered and wind beaten. Kicked in the groin son. Took one and un done. Unglued and then some Body gets in the way. Buddy, he […]

Turn On Your Reciever Deever

You pretend you didn’t know. How could you not see? You saw them dividing us Everywhere you be. But the sand is deep You mumble keep Your guard and damn mask up! You’ve nearly had enough! You’ll take no more You give what for Your boot on my Mom’s neck.

In Will Valley

Roaming in the wild Where the big wills play. You better make your mind up Or they’ll have their way With you boy, man, woman or child. Roamin’ with the big wills In the Valley of the Wild.

A River And The Ocean

You live on a sinking boat. In a moat. Buddy lives on the lake. Buddy can wake and bake. Life is his to take. It’s a big life, ya. Made up, ha ha! Or filled with Waah! Depends on the moat Or the lake.

There Was A Flaw In The Caw Of The Cat Crow

Nothing was as it seemed. As if the world careened. In a ditch boi Where their joy Will employ Guns and knives and waspy hives No, get away from me now. Legs, get moving and how Do we jump this shark? In the thick, thick dark. From a place where dark lives matter.

They All Did The High Jump

When dude said shit They went with it and Everyone held their breath. They strapped shit on And missing songs Whistling was verboten. See now they had forgotten. What a smile looked like And one long night Bare faces were indecent.

As Nice As A Bitch Can Be

She would love you in the eye And eat your heart out. She would say that she’s okay. Then cry your heart out. She would stutter and she’d stammer. She would wail you with bitch hammer And you’d love it, hug it, shove it So far up your hope pipe No rational thought could sneak […]

You Don’t Know Mad And You’ll Take What They Give You

Buddy don’t like no confrontation. Rude people pain his ass. But Buddy says shit with a mouth full of it. He shuts his damn mouth and fast. He sees a cop from India. A soldier here from Guam. And an alcoholic veteran All fought out. Left his fight in ‘Nam. Chinese at the corner store. […]

Yippies Don’t Have Training Camps. Military Do.

You would flail in the arms race. Get off to a real slow start. Big opposition is a stiff wind. You are but a fart.

God Is A Human

Buddy can run and jump and skip. Buddy ignores and gives a shit. Buddy takes charge and throws a fit. God doesn’t dare set foot In here. Buddy likes to wrestle problems really big. Buddy ain’t proud don’t need no fig Leaf him alone. Buddy’s on the phone. Get’n shit from home. His wife is […]

Survival Of The Dim Wittedest

A rising tide Sinks some ships. The loosest lips Float asunder. Us under.

He Didn’t Know What He Wanted And This Was Only Lunch

The wool stayed firmly Over his eyes. The look was so cool It was not a disguise. See, covering up stopped All ifs, ands and whys. Ain’t no surprise. Communicating lies. Is the way shit now gets done.

Constant Peripheral Vision

The corners of his mouth hung high. Some would call it smiling. Course, they’d be defiling Jocularity. For it was plain to see. His knack for fakery. Extended to the faint of heart. Whom took no part in Discerning artwork. And he was a master painter…

Dance to The Government Lingo!

Do you cha-cha-charge? Or do you run away? Stay up all night or? Sleep all day? That’s for them to know and You to say Excuse me, May I have another bowl, please? Can I have it if I ask upon my knees? Could your answer be affirmative in degrees? Or does it matter what […]

CommonSensically Atrophied

You don’t have two fucks to give. You just live Your life as if You’re surrounded by womb. Fed via shiny spoon. Gonna fall down go boom. Then you gonna cry. Say why me? Why…? We just sigh And ask why we try When you don’t.

Throwing People Under The Bus Is A Job

Did well in college. Four bedroom house. One great kid. Killed a mouse. Known as hero. Managing zeros. Buddy knows his stuff. When necessary tough. Loves his people. Kinda creep though Would sacrifice a “friend”?

The Dirty Line

Rise through the ranks or Blood your way up. You’re heading to a place where Enough is not enough. It’s gonna get rough. You better get tough. Shit from above. Shitters all below. They won’t let you go. If they ever know. Where you’ve been although They must go there, too. If they want to […]

They Turned Unengaged Potential Into Sickness

These motherfuckers were smart. They got it right from the start. They say you boy, you need makeup. And your armpits really stink! You are not so good or Not as good as you might think. Lookit that wasted talent! You were born that fat?! Embarrassment to your parents. You ever thinka that? Take that […]

When Fucking People Works

Fuck being nice. Shit on who needs it. Screw people twice. First one’s on me. Next one’s on you. Please come on back. So I can rip you… A new asshole cause Buddy, You need one. You’re so full of shit that One asshole can’t handle it. Tomorrow ain’t real for You fuckers who reel […]

Y’All Feel

Patterns. You are one. You think you’re someone. And you think you’re just one. Wrong.  

Do You Pick Your Nose Or Does Your Nose Pick You?

Zero sum game. Running then lame. It’s the same. Hidden vision. Circumstancial collision. Viewing that once hidden. By being smitten. With not here and now. It’s the why and how. Tomorrow happens.

The Incorruptably Corrupt

An oath was taken. The ground was shakin’. The best, they makin’ A promise to truth. Evil was shook cause The best, they took That oath for better or worse. Now worse had come And they were run Offa high road In the ditch. Ain’t life a son-of-a-bitch?!    

Gone! Curiosity Gone!

Certainty is what we need! Got no time to grow from seed! You don’t follow, you will bleed! You wanna drive an old car? Name on a seat in an old bar? You taken freedom too far! Buddy, look at your clothes. You ain’t one of those Fortunates whom knows If fashion’s cool, you frozen. […]

You Know About Phones And You Do Nada

Batteries die. But don’t go to heaven. Strap on a seat belt If you’re gonna get in. The safety is on so You don’t shoot yourself. Hold on to the railing Climb those steps without help. But let that thing drop, you Hold closer than life. It’ll smash thru financials and Add to your strife. […]

What Grumpy Old Bastards Don’t Know

If you’re angry and you know it Clap your hands! If you’re too pissed off to clap I understand. It’s your right to be unhappy. To flip out on those too clappy. Cause they’re usually too yappy It’s outa hand. Practice furrowing your brow. Grow ’em bushy as all hell. Cut ’em loose and you […]

Paul Ain’t The Real McCartney And I Ain’t The Real Me

Holy shit you can trade places! Change faces! Displace yourself! No one will tell. They’ll ask you Are you well? You wink cause You won’t tell. You’ve learned that Shit don’t sell. So, you cruise thru. You being you. As the you they knew As you.  

When It’s Bad Or Worse

He hit the haystack at fitty. Like a soft brick wall. Took one car length afore Momentum stalled. Kick-kick-kicked a door open. Ass out hauled. Told a future wife stay Here and she avowed ‘Til death to us part! He said I’ma go ‘N git the tractor! I’ll come back fer! Ya stay rat dare! […]

Why I Lie

The Tooth Fairy is a lying bitch and Santa’s a lying sack of shit. The Easter Bunny is a sideways fuck and The Sandman can suck on it. They lied, they lied and they goddamn lied! This wasn’t on sale! It’s regular price! Lying isn’t just mandatory Lying is the spice Of life, no?  

Fool Yerself

Fuck bias confirmation And all of it’s sort. Sonsabitches look this way. Find themselves in court. Who are they Anyfuckingway? No fuckingminds! Get outta my way!    

You Don’t Have To Be A Victim Of Your Mind Control

Red means stop. Red and blue – STOP NOW! Stand for the anthem. Sing out proud! Keep on standing for The next anthem too. You wanna get stared at?! You wanna get booed?! And please, When you’re singing proud, Sing. In. Tune!