Is One Thousand Religions Enough?

Posted on April 5, 2010August 8, 2010 by Barry Williams

Soul Sale – Going, Going, Gone!

At one time I considered myself to be a religious person.

But after more than a decade of hearing the same tunes and tales ad nauseum I tried a whole bunch of different churches and then pretty soon none.

Now I regarded my NEW self to be Un-Religious.

Before long I was disturbed to learn about my automatic and almost mandatory membership into the religion of atheism and when I came to that realization, overboard kicking and screaming went doctrine number two.

What do Chrysler, Christ and Canada have in Common?

No, its not the “C”s.

They are all belief systems. Ways of thinking about cars, deities and homeland commitment. And usually these systems start influencing us as children in much the same manner that schools insisted we ask to go to the bathroom. What were they trying to teach us by doing that? Conformity?

My own personal interpretation is that it was all about watching our Pee’s and Poo’s and making certain all comrades emptied selected body compartments at the correct places and the right times. You know, to coincide with future coffee breaks, lunch breaks, and break neck speeds, etc.

Who’s Your Partner, Partner?

When I eventually contemplated the mythologies I give credence to, the results were alarming.

See if you recognize any of these interesting devotions from your own history:

1. Dying to Live Here – Parents mysteriously allow their kids to become cannon fodder because they were accidentally born in the same town.

can you read between the lines?

2. Now Is Not A Good Time – Forces beyond your control called a career set your life schedule.

do you see all there is to see?

3. Watch This and Get Stupid – You have no idea whether one movie will screw your kid up for life or not so someone else has to warn you.

can you see what you have been missing?

4. Thou, Kleptomaniac – We can’t fast forward through FBI and Interpol warnings at the start of rented movies and there is a reason why.

space is the only frontier, not final

5. Consumerism; Yer Hooked – You constantly buy only one brand of beer, cheese whiz (please, please, no) or pizza. C’mon, get two!

get between a couple of good ideas

6. YOOHOOHOO! I’M A WINNER! – A sports team administers your weekly happiness quotient and decides which jersey you have on right now.

don’t fix your world view because it is never broken, just warped

7. Hello Jail-Bait – You crossed a state, province or county line and are now breaking several laws.

two things will ensure we succeed, you and me

8. Accountants Run The Numbers – Hard to imagine the same folks who participated in Enron, Arthur Anderson and every bank fraud would jimmy the lottery. Nawww!

be all you can be by living outside yourself

9. Rest Your Royal Head – Everyone owns their own home as long as they pay the king forever.

there’s a good chance you could do better than you are

10. Broccoli Wins Hands Down – Some folks admit powerlessness over inanimate stuff but thinking turnips are tougher than people takes special consideration.

These days I understand how my life is ruled by theories and one by one I’m calling them out to see who is on board.