If Only I Were Half As Smart As I Thought

My legs run nowhere as fast as a part of me thinks they should.

I can’t lift as much as I thought I could.

The pains in my joints are unnecessary, so my mind informs me.

And folks around me could be doing a lot more for

me than they are now but no one asks. Its as

if everything I am immersed in is judged

by a part of me to be less than what

is available and another part of

me should take note of this &

invest some instant effort

to catch us the hell up.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Share

When Microwave Ovens Were Unbelievable

They were standing there, surrounded by expectant looking strangers.

One of the smaller boy strangers motioned a cup toward the new

groom who cocked his head off to the side, peering at his

new wife as they embarked on some strange game,

in a strange town, surrounded by strange folks

who surely don’t treat all new visitors with

such suspicious anticipation. “Go on,

stick your finger in this cup of

water!” little strange-boy

ordered after smirkily

taking it out of a box

that dinged as if to

signal that the whole charade would soon lose its allure.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Share

Shrinkage Be In The Salesmen’s Key To The Warehouse That Doesn’t Care

Once upon a time this naive sales representative was promoted into management.

Dude felt fortunate to be in management and in his fortunosity forgot all

about how most of the other sales reps hated the corporation

which paid them. They disliked the company enough

to shirk responsibility, provide poor to non

existent service and even fake sales

because they knew that the

folks in accounting were

pulling the same

punches. To

these disgruntled people the drawbridge was lowered. Mmmhmm.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Share

Knocking Sense Into People – Not The Most Effective Leadership Course

One of my nephews is in his late twenties and needs his nose fixed.

His nose needs fixing because his younger brother broke it

during a fisticuffs conversation they had a few days

ago. Their father and I had the very same talk

many times in many different locations

and no matter how many breaks

we took to speak our fleshy

minds we never agreed

to disagree for over

fifty years which

might be a bit

too long for smart to get smacked into a person.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

 

Share

When A Step Child Bestows Parenthood

For decades my fake offspring Jason and I did battle.

I swore his mother was going to attend court

with him because I’ll be gawd damned

if I will waste my precious time

caring about anyone who

doesn’t give two shits

about me. How oh

how could I have been so un-fatherly and just how could Jay be so wise now?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

 

Share

A Shill For Every Window And Two Windows For Every Shill

could you help me with this purse

Who is NOT forced into pitching something these days?

Do folks really understand what they must represent? Or what that coerced representation will eventually lead to?

Girls and boys going door to door selling

for some big candy manufacturer

who insists they dress up

in fancy clothing as if

they were about to help someone across the street.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Ain’t many certificates being given out for these surface jobs but sheesh, there’s a pile ‘o positions available for the right doctors, financial consultants, lawyers, realtors, etc.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shill

Share

Loquaciousness Drives While Smart Waits In Line On The Ride Called Planet Earth

Is it better to be born with the ability to chat folks up or be quietly intelligent?

I hope its not obvious that I’m betting on the babbling brook route.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/loquacious 

 

Share

People With Chomper Prosthetics Are Less Dumbed Down And Bad Tooth Brushers

donald trump smiling

Does Newt Gingrich or The Donald have false teeth?

If they do I may have just blown my theory.

Sheeoot, I could really use a couple

of nice Polidents right now.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flouride_controversy

Share

Hammered Every Second Part 8: Get The State Working For You

Convince a trained attack dog to not attack you. You’ve got two seconds.

One…twouch…

Humans succumb to such conditioning too, so unless you’re a reading eye dog, listen up:

1. Be cool in all you do, even copish stuff. The first person to lay hands loses.

2. Fight stylish like.

3. Feesh nice in unexpected locales.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Share

Hammered Every Second Part 6: Everything Counts So Fill Your Boots With Better

Nothing has much meaning if no one remembers it.

For folks who possess a decent memory the past can carry shite that

we wish didn’t occur but it has and that leaves only two options:

One – we try real hard to forget stuff which pretty much

ensures that it will be driven deeper into our daily

life or Two – we bury it with positive events.

Just like the old memories want to stick

around, filling the new memory bank

with fresh, supportive percepts

whom also want top billing

will allow our minds to

do what they’ve bin

doing up to now -

questioning us

constantly about who we are and why we exist.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out

Share