BullShit Deciphering Made Easy

Everyone stretches the truth.

Whether pretending to live a lovely life when we’re actually stuck in Squalor Swamp or just feigning more intelligence than anyone thinks possible, these are only two of many successful methods we utilize to invent a better reality for ourselves.

In fact, misleading numero uno is mandatory in order to happily navigate the twisty trail called life but everything goes haywire when others attempt to employ the same sly shenanigans we so coyly engage to create our own existence.

With these waves of deceit quietly eroding the shoreline of Life Lake, many folks wonder if it’s still possible to render shite from shinola and the answer to that is a resounding YES – by contrast and deduction.

Fool Me Twice… Hey Don’t I Know You?

Here’s how these marvelous myths morph:

A friend wants to borrow your lawn rake and promises to return it next week.

1. Compare this statement to pally’s previous pledges of similar ilk. (remember the hammer still “borrowed” from last year?)
   
2. Subtract the previous historical outcome from this proposed activity. (one year minus one week is next year, not next week)
   
3. Now you have the bare truth which can be acted upon. (you’re not getting the rake back and really, who needs one anyway?)
4. Surprise the hail out of your neighborly thief by handing over your rake as a gift. This will greatly reduce any borrowing anguish while throwing dude for a loop and initiating some unconscious reciprocation for free future beers. (a long shot but hey, you never know…)
   

Similar to learning a new language, the skill of deciphering bullshit takes a while to master but once that happens you will be translating intentions /cutting to the chase without blinking an eye.

And being able to discern distortion is heaven for fibbers!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

The late George Carlin knew how to give the truth a good shellacking. See the master at work here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

Volbeat – The Human Instrument

See the titie klitie hootie boogie woogie girl
Distraction no sex, her looks kills more then guns
Deceiving, believing the web she spins on you
Addicted, pathetic, predicted

For a while or for a day we chase the darkness away
Feel the morning (whispers) though a sunny day
I promise to take you back into the vault below
I’ll rise you from the underworld

See the titie klitie hootie boogie woogie wicked girl
The sign of a pretty prickly ladies walking around with wicked souls
Chasing their eyes when they bleed again, oh baby girl oh baby gail
Chasing the life and let it roll

Black December leave the earth and let us feel the morning fire
The taping fingers on my shoulder make my demons scream and lie
Chasing their eyes when they bleed again, oh baby girl oh baby gail
Feeling their eyes and let them roll
Chasing a life and live it

Feeling the moment when they cry
My body is sentenced to see where they go
Still they are crying, and deny that mother earth has send them to shores far beyond

Are we all the wonder of a life that we can call our own
Oh baby baby still the guiding and the taping leaves us cold

Chasing their eyes when they bleed again, oh baby girl oh baby gail
Feeling their eyes and let them roll
Chasing a life and live it

Feeling the moment when they cry
My body is sentenced to see where they go
Still they are crying, and deny that mother earth has send them to shores far beyond

Lyrics courtesy: http://www.lyricstime.com/volbeat-the-human-instrument-lyrics.html