Let's say you're one of those folks who has never vaped potty pot pot. Well, smartypants, that's not going to help you here much is it?!
TICKETS!
Get your tickets ready please!
Oh uh, hello there. How you doing?
Listen, my name is Barry and I'm the Conductor on this train so if you need anything, you just ask me, okay?
The bathrooms are right over there and please, pick up after yourself on account of I clean the place, too.
And uh, seeing as you're not from around here I'll just tell you straight out - although every story you might hear on this train is true, some stories are "truer" than others, if you can read between the rails...
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and, y'all come back now, y'hear?
Have a grand day, friend.
TICKETS!
Barry Williams
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
barryhappywilliams@gmail.com
Fucking wasps buzzed my face in Regina saying we know about the agreement in Nanaimo. I just got home and already the local wasps knew the message?
Cellphones are old hat.
I was having a hoot while painting my step mom’s trailer and saw wasps going in a certain area where I would be painting.
They were around for other eaves trough work I was performing on the trailer but now I would be invading their entrance.
I made several silent pleas, kind of like praying, and asked them to grant me access as I was actually improving their home, not threatening it.
All the while I worked slowly and confidently and eventually the odd wasp even landed on me, challenging my courage and belief.
It worked and I worked and we worked. Collaboration.
And before I got back the wasps in my area were aware of my actions. Scary, fucking scary.
Of course, this is something utilized by many generations before us. Its called acting neighborly, I believe.
I told my crazy neighbor about my liaison with wasps and she doubted my story.
Today she stopped for a wine on the way home from work and while we were talking a wasp landed on my hand and wandered around in between my fingers. Pally commented as it was happening that getting stung there would be painful.
I watched the wasp with interest and heard no message. Soon, the little terror flew away.
Yep. They like me, I can tell.
While I encountered wasps a few times more in the fall of 2011, they triggered no hallucinations nor stinging mounds of flesh.