Archive for July, 2012

What If Humans Spin Like Planets?

Many folks understand that the worm turns. They know that life works tit for tat and karma must actually be real other wise why would any idiot think there were gods if its for certain there weren’t? Thank you, friend. Barry out. Motherfuckers splashing around morphogenic energy lak there’s no tommorry.

There Is No Right Way. Only THIS Way.

Most folks would like things to be different. They don’t know exactly how they’d like things to be different but they guess that different must be better than this bullshit every damn day. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Lord I wish this wasn’t true.

I’m Punching The Next Nuclear Boss I Meet In The Heady Head Head (Boyzroom)

Most folks have at least one enemy. They usually don’t include their in-laws because these people are low level terrorists but if they happen to be one of those haughty-taughty nuclear ppl now we got somepin to talk about. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Get yer horrific news here: I’ll be squatting on top […]

Hello From Captain RuleBender

Most folks know that every limit is broken. They stopped following the stupid dictates of naysayers around them a long time ago when witches and niggers and long or no hair rabble raisers actually got into the decision making process and halted making decisions altogether. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Shit! No instructions…

Invasion Is Invasive No Matter Who Invades

Most folks have survived some kind of lashing. They had their house, car or office broken into or recently hosted an official from the Kings Men who alerted them to the fact that their stolen stuff ain’t coming back and they aren’t as well off as they thought they were. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Now Entering Fly Prison. All Assholes Report To Ben Dover.

Most folks have extinguished insignificant lives. They shopped for and purchased deadly items in order to electrocute, swat or gas their prey and goddammit they DID! Those minor lives were taken without mercy or consideration and from that place only the size of lifeholder changes. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Ahmed gonna say dis agin. […]

Why Would Me & Myself Have Different Names To Describe Someone Else?

Nimrod Expedition South Pole Party (left to right): Wild, Shackleton, Marshall and Adams. Most folks have been beside themselves. They usually get there through the Forest Of Fear or because some one pushed exactly the rat buddons but it matters not because we are still talking about another person. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Yippee! […]

Clothing Is Made Up Of Conjured Parts And Like People Is Rougher On The Inside

Many folks understand that humanity presents a disparity. They have seen first hand how good people can act poorly immersed in the right circumstances and also how the same humans can redeem themselves even as they swirl the nasty cauldrons of prideful hierarchy and in all that heady mess they sooner or later comprehend that […]

Telling The Truth In Big Lie Swamp Is As Stupid As Wading In

Many folks are aware that there is little honor among thieves. They just as easily set each other up as they do the mark and when poosh comes to shove to a man they flap their gums at whomever holds the head release sword and everyone breathes a big sigh of relief whenever another ponzi […]

Let Da Human Who Imagined Nasty Foie Gras Shiver In The Boots Of Judgement

Most folks understand how stress works. They know that force don’t give a shite who or what you are it just rams whatever down another throat regard less of what the gullet owner may think. Ats not rape, no. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Are you fucking joking me pal!?

Say You Lose A Couple Of Billion Dollars. Then Say Five Billion. Do I Hear Nine?

Most folks understand that bad news should be squeezed out. They realize that if humans were to get all their upsetting correspondence on one day that might be the day that pooshes them over the edge and from where man kind is perched, that slip would leave a mark. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Dang! […]

Note To Self: Don’t Defend Until Attacked. Appears Provocative.

Most folks know that businesses work together. They realize that just because these two vehicle dealers sell different brands that doesn’t impede them from colluding on the location of their fancy showrooms or swapping suckers via the old wink- wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more, say-no-more system. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Luke! Over here!    

Back Scratchers And Gods Serve The Same Purpose

Most folks have nether regions. They realize that these spots don’t get nearly the attention as them places what are visible but they still need taken care of. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Trick Yer Kids Into Deciphering More Than Just Their Cell Phone

Ambushed my17 yr old kid into reading this & many udders Most folks know that children love candy. They can usually count on being able to predict that junior has imbibed the chocolate bar strategically left on the coffee table last night and that very same anticipation can be duplicated with the right kinda books. […]

Jimmy Da Fort Gonna Do Some Tin Or Some Tin DO Jimmy Da Fort

Many folks have experienced people who rock the world. They understand that hanging in front of these wilders is a no no because of them knowing exactly where themselves and everybody else lives so we just back away with our hand held out pleading “Buddy, put that knife away, RIGHT NOW” while at once scanning […]

Suicide Notes That WORK

Most folks know when something smells fishy. They wrinkle up their nose involuntarily and say “phew!” and then they either pull their shirt over their head to protect their olfactory nerve or haul arse out of that place pronto. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Lipe: She Ees Sleeping Away

Most folks have their lucky stars counted. They don’t wonder about what number is coming up or even if its close to theirs they just stay focused & that’s probably why they ain’t gonna make it to their life jackets. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Ah was a walkin up some stars one day… […]

I Smail Rush

Many folks invest in things outside themselves. They store their value in a chunk of the earth, some iron horses and perhaps even metal disks with pictures on them. As long as everyone else buyz into this circus it works but as soon as someone shouts “Flies in the ointment!” all bets are off and […]

I’ll Be Waiting Rat Here You SonofaBitch!

Most folks do not feel persecuted. They don’t think for one second that they could possibly be on some salesperson’s call list or drifting into that car lot where buying is not an option. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Hey, black holes… See where it gets dark? Ats us.

Yer Very Best Rugs Hide Plenty ‘O Dirt And Allow Themselves Still To Be Trampled

Most folks wish they could disappear shite. They gag at the thought that someone might find out what has really happened because in their mind the knowers and those whom they know would now know more than they should know. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Prison: just one of the curious, ineffective ways our handlers […]

The Future Stinks Big Time

Most folks care about privacy. They understand that once this last bastion of free dom is breached we be swimming in deep doo doo. Thank you, friend. Barry out. People, start your wafting…

I Warned This Guy For Calling Me Prolific Because I’m Kinda Against Abortion

Most folks have been called names. They were either mispronunciations or purposeful shout-outs but never theless, when alive things make a noise in our direction it’s usually for us. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Ahma say dis rat here. I owe these people 10% o’ everting I get.

Gawd I’ve Followed A Pile Of Gods

Most folks are looking for someone to lead them. They assume that there is no way they could actually know where or why they may wind up on their own or perhaps score anything worthwhile so like good beggars they engage submission. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Ya got any books wit covers on dem?

When I Stop Breathing Or Drinking Wine, That’s IT.

Many folks have to lie and cheat to stay married. They do that or play bingo or the slots just because the world they’re alive in ain’t big enough for whatchamacallit and themselves too. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

For Sale: Thoughts.

Most folks have no idea how little they think. They stop at signs just because and their  way is impeded or greased by lights of many colors and with cell phones and radios draggin’ the line no ones mindin’ the ranch. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

First We Get Burned By An Inconvenient Truth & THEN It’s Global Warming’s Turn

Many folks know that the weather is changing. They know its hotter today in some places and colder in some too but they also understand that outside the hay wire, things have remained pretty much the same. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Shit’s hot, y’all.

Human And Animal Interaction Is Scalable

Most folks in the western world don’t want their in-laws living with them. They couldn’t even hang in their mother-in-law’s basement for free because being too close to fellow cultural members drives almost every person and animal nuts before long and some of those now crazy people become aggressive and start ripping off everyone around […]

Another Eruption On Mount Bacrryus

Most folks don’t add shite up. They let it slide and normally this is a good practice but when weird shite like aggressive feelings for no reason at all knock twice on their door they open that sucker up to see what’s what. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

It Was Well Dressed Dudes Who Put The Scam In Scandal

Many folks no longer know what to believe. They do know that  just because it appears that judge so-in-so is an honest bench warmer don’t mean she and her twisted lawyer husband ain’t hunting big black cock on the internet or just because buddy next door with the jag and jet lag seems like a […]

Personalities Don’t Ask Permission To Switch They Just Do Whenever They Want

Most folks are unaware that their angry self and calm self are separate people. They don’t feel themselves actually swapping positions on account of continuous transition being the natural state of nature and us alive types being fully immersed in that seamless soup. Thankfully, this incredible trait allows for one unique self to pilot our […]