Archive for December, 2013

In The Land Where Everything Just Misses, Some Things Are More Missed Than Others.

Most folks know about ricochets. They understand them as close shots that just missed and a warning that someone’s sights need adjustment. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Poosh Yer Kid On The Painted Line. Rat In Front Dat Bus.

Most folks don’t break a leg. They don’t want to and they wouldn’t wish it upon any one but that’s what’s on the menu at crosswalk time. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Psst! Ovr heah! Death In The Fast Lane – The Crazy Concept of Pedestrian Crosswalks

When Stop Signs Stop Working

Most folks can catch a drift. They see pally acting weird and nodding his head sideways as in get down get down you crazy motherfucker there’s a killer loose in here. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

And Just Before He Woke Up Every Day Dude Kicked Old Guilty’s Arse

Most folks know about magic. They understand it means slight of hand but they focus on that so hard that they forget that tickets & seats were purchased and chosen. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

Ice Every Promise With Sweet, Sweet Action And Then Kiss The Beggar Goodbye.

Many folks know about habits. They understand that this river floats all things & can be sucked into going almost anywhere. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Had Only Recently Found His Life And Now Wanted No One Else To Take It

Most folks meet their maker. They wonder who that is until they appear and resemble them. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Take Only As Much As You Can Carry ‘Cause Everything Wants To Be Human

Many folks are tall sideways. They park too close to doors and drive too often through drive- throughs but they are not to be blamed on account of them hearkening to as many beckons as possible because everything wants to become Human. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Course humans want to be gods. . . Maybe […]

Waiting Is A Waste Of Time. SPEND IT! SPEND IT! SPEND IT!

Most folks have been rushed. They took chances they likely shouldn’t have while acting just a tad irrational when they likely shouldn’t have & oddly enough, once the mad rush was over, they felt a sanity draining back into their genes that had been their’s all along. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

How Can We Ever Know Ourselves Without One Time Being Ourselves?

Many folks are putting on a show. They dress in their finest, drive their finest and live in their finest while inside they are anything but fine on account of their who not matching their why. Thank you, friend. Barry out. 1. Who are you? 2. Why are you this person?

Dude Thought Every Day Should Have A New Number Then Wait A Minute

Most folks know about interest seekers. They need for the interest payer to imagine each spin into the sun as a whole new thing that is worth whatever new things are worth. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Feeling Happy Dappy Every Day Smoods Out De Olde Ups And Downs

Most folks have a birthday. They don’t celebrate it every day though & that rat there is a shame. Thank you, friend. Barry out. FEEL THE PAIN GODDAMMIT! FEEL IT! Now uh, let’s everybody sit down and have some more of auntie’s cake. . .

One Day The Forest Was Clear Of Witches & The Next They Came Out Of The Woodwork

Most folks know about taboos. They understand that wacking off was bad then not, gambling was bad then legal and not & they slowly realize that the same controllers who once said bad now say good so there’s a chance it could be neither. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Wondered If Dead Relatives Thought As Much About Him

Most folks know about love. They understand that something can be far away yet still near to their heart and that faraway thing, whenever it wants, makes love. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Your Daze Can Be Numbered Without Them Adding Up

Most folks know about sums. They group this thing with that thing and before anyone can see that these things repel each other, they have. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

A Wee Bit Of Poison Helps The Civilization Go Down

Most folks know about threats. They respond to them if they know about them but if something is nefariously looming large & yet unknown to them, it can paddy-whack their tush at will. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Starfish Wasting Disease outbreak could be due to radiation

Things Have A Way Of Working Out Only If They’re Shown The Door

Most folks are optimists. They expect that everything will turn out okay even if shit is hitting the fan on account of them bringing up the rear. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

When Fools Are Ordered To Rush Rat In

Most folks know about the military. They understand that when shit gets too hot for the average person to handle, our boys and girls in uniform are dispatched to gauge and quell the challenge and if they can’t do it then people without uniforms  start seeing crap on their creek paddles. Thank you, friend. Barry out. US […]

Horton Hears Hollerin’ About Global Warming And Comes In Outa His Sun

Many folks know about the earth. They understand that it is one planet in a solar system which is heavy on solar and big on system and with a wee bit ‘o consideration they recognize that these two fact ors affect planetary temps waay more than wee spec humans. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

And If You Ain’t Heard Of Botox Pal Then Yer Rock Hat Is Pretty Big

Most folks worry about appearances. They understand that it they don’t fit in they stand out and to be outstanding is to set themselves up for ridicule and who wants to be ridiculous when the name of the game is to make it out un-scalped? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

“Well Ahl Be . . .” Yes, You Will Dude Said. You Will, You Will, You Will.

Most folks speak a small percentage. They hear a veritable roaring fountain of dashing thoughts chasing each other around inside their head but they corral only those needed rat now. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Watch Where Yer Eyes Point

Most folks know about averting. They look away when a stranger stares at them & break eye contact whenever someone’s gaze gets too familiar and they also know about certain sights that their peepers must not see.  Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Washed Up There With Knives And Burners In The Middle Of A Kitchen Island

Many folks have said inappropriate shit. They opened their pie hole and stuffed their entire leg into their gaping gappy gap gap and if that weren’t bad enough, several audience members had to be present to ensure that the entire charade was recorded for posterity and ever. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Twenty Years Ain’t Hardly Enough Time To Fix A Life Time Of Fucking Up

Most folks are living long. They are also killing themselves in significant numbers which might be some kinda hint on how not good some people are feeling about strangers packin’ dey lunch. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Any Option Can Be Bumbled Through But No Option Sure As Shit Can’t

Many folks plan vacations. They may never actually go on their vacation or when they do go on it, it may not be exactly as they had imagined but if they hadn’t  planned, it wouldn’t be, to be or not. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

And Then For No Reason He Made Her Hit Him

Most folks react. They would respond if they had time but no, they don’t, so they just utter the first stupid shit that comes to mind. Thank you, friend. Barry out. And he was fixing to do it agin!

Walking Is Only One Way To Come Down Stairs

Most folks know about ass over teakettle. They were chewing gum when they should have been hanging on to the goddamn hand rail because everyone else wears these stupid goddamn foot killing shoes with heels so goddamn high they can’t help but get caught on every goddamn step! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

For Free Land On The Internet Just A Few Types Reserves Yer Space

Many folks know about the wild west. They understand that settlers simply had to make it out to the middle of nowhere alive because doing so allowed them to drive a stake into some ground that they could now rightfully call Ranch  So-And-So and if they could stand the heat, critters and wild, wild Induns then they were deemed Pie On […]

For Some Poor Beggars Even That Which They Have Will Be Totally Taken From Them

Most folks know about laws. They understand that there is one set of laws for the rich & another harsher set for the poor and it will never be fair or different or right but it will always BE. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Was No Good At Acting And Was A Real Bad Actor To Boot

Many folks were once wild. They tamed themselves or were tamed by others but never-the -less, they are now broke in or are still being broke. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

This Drive. Who Wills This Drive? Is It Me, Me, Me . . . Or Is It Thy?

Most folks know inside from outside. They recognize their scalp as theirs and not belonging to some nation- wide scalp group which makes losing theirs more important than the other two hundred and sixty-eight Custer scalpees. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Battle of the Little Bighorn