Archive for March, 2014

Dude Always Picked The Unlucky Horse And Then Slipped Right Under Its Hooves

Many folks have had their arse kicked. They were likely more than two years old when it happened though, and it probably wasn’t their father who whupped ’em. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Ending The War on Drugs – With Compassion!   

Yer Upper Hand Often Carries A Gun

Many folks know about the wild west. They learned that horses, women and the odd gunslinger were faster than fast but a well drawn wanted poster and a decent reward trumped a thousand how-do-you-do’s. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Before Taxation War Was Necessary For Plunder. Now It’s Downright Stupid.

Most folks know that death is a business. They attended funerals where dude was buried in the best piece of furniture he’s ever owned and if dying for your cause works why doesn’t everyone try it? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

There’s This Thing About Virginity

Most people are born once. They might claim to being born again but this necessarily would be metaphorically speaking on account of where is their big mother? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

By Folding The Sheets A Different Way Each Day She Saved A Thousand Lives

Most folks know that time is money. They often forget that before time becomes money it must be worth something and if it’s worth anything, it’s worth saving. Thank you, friend. Barry out. My wife Kathryn the great Williams figured out how to fold a bedsheet that would save each bedmaker 15 seconds on every […]

The Noise You Make Annoys Me So Now I Need Anoise Fix Noise Fix

  You; Won’t sing in tune. You; Don’t tell no time. You; Don’t understand, You under mine. You undermine.   You; Sleep well at night. You; Stay out till light. You; Are always right. You’re always right. You’re always right. You’re ALWAYS RIGHT!   No one should stand in your way. No one should be […]

If Someone Has A Key To Yer Heart Don’t Pin It To A Brand New Knife.

Many folks pretend to be happy. They are waiting until the right sunset comes along to crack their winning smile and if all goes as planned they’ll make amends to a few bastards who don’t even deserve it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  Get training if yer to play wit knives and not just by experience.

Howling Works Better If You Point Yer Mouth Out

Many folks know about the moon. They understand that the moon is ‘out there’ & wherever out there is is where their alive wants to go. Thank you, friend. Barry out.   

Every Was A LOTA Fish. He Snagged Every Body’s Line.

Most folks can act nervous. They seldom do it for loot though but all yer mulers are hiring front sweaters & back end shakers. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Loadsa Odders Time Avanish and when avanish completely catcha no feesh

The Bow Didn’t Slice Through The Surface, The Sea Unzipped Their Ship Through.

Many folks know about oceans. They understand that water possesses the power to create with plenty ‘o punch left over to destroy so it’s always good to know where one stands on it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Maybe The Bugs Are Makin’ You Talk. Maybe Yer Talkin’ Bug Talk.

Most folks know about zombies. They drink coffee, stay off their electronics while driving and make little reminder notes up the ying yang to not become one. Thank you, friend. Barry out. I fucking KNEW IT! Ed Yong: Suicidal wasps, zombie roaches and other parasite tales

Doing Stupid Shit Is Normal. Learning From Doing Stupid Shit Is Not.

Most folks make mistakes. They hate it when it happens but seldom invest recovery time trying to figure out what happened and how to avoid it next time. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Criminality Is An Illness Infecting Law Makers And Breakers

Most folks have felt physically sick. They know from experience that they can and have felt better and the majority realize intuitively that their health will return if they simply take it easy. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

There Were Enough People To Pass Judgement But Not Enough To Stop It

Most folks know what is best. They follow the tried and true path to enlightenment which is so well worn and beaten that anyone attempting to leave it will be side-tracked. Thank you, friend. Barry out. 

A Baby On The Tracks & A Locomotive Where A Pile’O Logs Shoulda Been

Most folks can’t stop themselves. They do what they do and if other people don’t like it they can kiss their sweet petunia oh, hello mom. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Games Can Be Won At The End

Most folks know about over. They understand that it ain’t over until the fat lady sings and she sings the right song at the right time for everyone. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Yer Good Kinda Worry Turns Into Action

Most folks are concerned. They fret about this and fear about that and until those juices are put on simmer there’ll be nothing to show for their stewing. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Insurance Dulls Concern For An Illuminated Being

Most folks know about wildlife. They understand that animals in the wild do not consider the utility of roadways in the same manner that  humans do and wild life seldom fire up running lights or pay monthly premiums. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

What Do People Do When They Don’t Know What To Do? Nothing.

Most folks take chances. They take chances that are so small that their ability to take a wee bit more risk gets crippled and now any insurance company can push them around. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Work To Make Yer Life A Vacation And Then Vacations Are Work

Most folks have no idea what they want. They wait for a menu and if there isn’t one then holy hell confusion breaks out and they can’t find the shoes they want or the greeting card that says what they can’t and if shit ain’t laid out for them then they’ll just wait right here until […]

Wishing Don’t Make It So But It Shortens Up The Trip

Most folks are in a trance. They go about their business without giving anything a second thought and yet from time to time they ‘come to’ and wonder what they hell they were thinking. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Say I’m Okay, I’m Okay, Until The Day You Actually Are.

Many folks get jealous. They often don’ realize that jealousy, like bad breath, can be fixed right now from the outside but the stinky part is inside. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

People Are Who They Are. Got it? Good!

Most folks can change. They can stop saying a word or phrase or they can start calling themselves The Right Honorable and they can change their clothes and where they live but seldom can they change themselves. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Traffic Noise Made Anxious In Dude And Turned Him A Little Less Right

Most folks are okay. They could be better, sure, but alright is better than not worth a shit which is how many people seem to feel. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

No Roost For The Wicked

Most folks have socks. They don’t mind  getting socks for gifts but socks…? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Swimming In Unreal Soup

Monday was made up. Someone made Monday up. The earth, the name the earth was made up. Someone made that up. The thing before it was called the earth was made up. Somehow it was made up. Getting made up is what stuff does and it does it pretty well. Like us. We’re made up […]

Grandfather Could Only Think Backwards

Most folks have a memory. They employ such a large chunk of it for their past that there is no memory left for their future. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Worrying Is Worth It If You’ve Nothing Else To Do

Most folks have body odor. They recognize it and control it if that sort of thing is high on their list of ways to get and keep friends and if not they too often smell their fingers. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Apologized To Those Offended Because The Others Would Have To Wait

Many folks are jerks. They don’t know they are jerks though, which only adds to their jerkiness and until they realize it they’re cursed to be jerks. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

How Dude Saw The World Was Nowhere Close To How The World Saw Dude

Most folks have some idea. They quickly grapple for clues if they have none and from that they form an image, a plan and in less than one second some very precise actions. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Yeah. Mofo is lucky I’m inclined to do nothin’ right now. Mofo…