Archive for May, 2014

AHA! Dude Saw Them! They Were Coming From The Corner Of His Eye!

Many folks see visions. They drive the safest car, eat the safest food and attend just enough clubs to ensure they don’t forever burn in hell. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Yes, We Realize No One Was Hurt. But If You Don’t Pay, We’ll Hurt YOU.

Most folks know about fines. They understand that these financial penalties are called fines but they shouldn’t be on account of they aren’t. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Lost Count Of The Times He Heard “How Many Times I Gotta Tell You?”

Most folks are interested. They keep their eyes on the road, their fingers off their phones and Jesus! was that a bloody construction zone?! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

When A Harmless Bump Elicits An Ouch! This Is Pent Up Pain Leaping Out.

Most folks know about grief. They understand that grief is experienced in different ways by different people and similar to pride can ebb and flow to the extent that deep emotions can be experienced over and over and if they are not allowed to wind themselves down, pain will pour out every pore until poor them stops it. […]

Birdees Leave The Nest Voluntarily Once It’s Lined With Shatty Shat Shat

Most folks yearn for better. They want a taste of the good life, a trip to Vegas where whatever happens in Vegas (unless its a lost wallet) stays in Vegas. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Say It: You Don’t Love Your Youngest Kid Most

Most folks know about absence. They know it makes the heart grow fond but nothing beats little lambies eating ivy. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Kid! Bring that cheek over here!  

When Body And Mind Disagree, Holes “Happen” In Yer Blood Brain Barrier.

  Body can leave. Mind can go. Go ahead if you want to. Like a trailer without a hitch, A horse without it’s giddyup. At saddle air ain’t even worth two cents.   Don’t look at me that way! Dammit, hear me out! We don’t take so kindly to strangers ’round here. And you buddy are […]

Dude’s Fingers Begged Him To Please Please Shut The Hell Up

Most folks breathe crap. They usually have no idea how  much crap they are breathing though unless they sport a deviated septum which gives them a total run down on what is just backa their face. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Praise The Lawd For Tim Ferris Who Said “And Then I Shorten It Up”.

One time I watched a video of Tim Ferris. He’s the author of 4 hr workweek, a brilliant book about finding your purpose instead of working your arse off. He said about his blog posts – paraphrasing here –  I write a post and then go back an delete a bunch of it to shorten […]

The Oldtimer Knew When They Found Him, The Smail He Now Liked They Wouldn’t.

Most folks run their own world. They may not give themselves credit for inventing their own reality on account of they feel penned in, but inside every corral are a bunch of feesh in school. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Lil-Jon – What They Gone Do

High Fiver? Highway Driver? High Alert! High Blood Pressure!

Most folks wake up to alarms. They break slumber with noise, their boss is an ass and they suddenly realize they are blubbering in traffic while off in the distance a Meadowlark sings.  Thank you, friend. Barry out.

When Time Bends Around You Rather Than You Around Time

Most folks know about sails. They understand that sails are designed to catch and direct the most air possible but few realize how adept wiley sailors are at constantly beating the wind. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Aloof…? Aloof?! Goof Had The Gall To Call Dude Aloof!

Most folks are smart. They are smart enough to not go around telling everyone how smart they are on account of some jokers want proof. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

People are like Heat. Too Many And It Gets Stuffy.

Most folks enjoy warmth. They enjoy cool too,  and warm feels better after cool. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

There Was Really No Need To Get All Upset When Partially Would Suffice

Most folks are not flexible. They laid best plans and if they aren’t followed then that time was wasted and the last thing they need on their watch is a time waster. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Hell, Dude Wasn’t Even Who HE Thought He Was.

Most folks are predictable. They follow patterns that follow patterns that they follow. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Knew He Was Doing This For The Wrong Reason But What The Hell Was It?

Many folks learn after the fact. They are happy they made it through such-and-such and all smiley smiles but one moment alone and they get to head shaking. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

What If There’s A Way Besides Discouraged?

Most folks have a world view. They usually don’t know they have a world view though because they were membrained over in a birthing process that stiffened into a barrier surpassed only through ordered pecking.  Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Dude Asked To Be Excused But The Teacher Had To Go Too

Most folks know how to learn. They might need a little help getting their tools out but after that they gotta cut their own rug. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Noise OverDose Nosy OverDose: The Cause Of Nearly Everything Bad.

Most folks can’t spontaneously relax. They schedule their rest and relaxation from five pee em on flyday to ten pee em on fam football day and they think it’s the twentieth to the twenty-eighth they have off. Thank you, friend. Barry out. You don’t hear people in the woods screaming “DAH! I’ve had it!” Okay… […]

Luck Doesn’t Just Run Out, It Skitters To And Fro.

Most folks know about fortune. They understand that both fortune and misfortune to a large part depend on birth canal placement. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Scary Barry, Quite Contrary. Red Wine In A Coffee Cup.

Most folks know about quitting time. They understand that when the clock strikes that time people lay down their tools and supposedly disengage their minds cause now they’re in the wild wild west. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

It Ain’t Smart To Focus Only On The “Short” Part Of “Short Cut”

Most folks are one sided. They have been defending their view of reality for so long they find it incomprehensible that there may be two very valid  sides to every situation & they have been working life from a singular angle only. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Few People Know That Everyone Is Infected Bigtime With Schadenfreude

Most folks know about braggarts. They smile when braggarts slip and grin when braggarts fall but what they usually don’t realize is relatively it’s the same for all do-gooders. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Assholes Are Mean To Everyone, Pricks And Twats Are Only Mean To You.

Most folks have been called names. They turned around when someone yelled “retard!” at the mall and still answered when their mom hailed them with  the wrong kid-sound but some names they simply ricochet.  Thank you, friend. Barry out. I know you are, but what am I?

There Are Fifty-Seven Different Kinds Of Crazy. All Must Choose At Least One.

Many folks know about normal. They understand that normal is relevant to time, place and circumstances and anyone who disagrees with the status quo is not. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Pay Attention To The Attention Payers. It’s An Attention Deficit Workabout.

Many folks look out. They will never hear someone holler at  them “Look Out!” Thank you, friend. Barry out.

There’s A Time And Place For Everything But Dude Couldn’t Find That Place

Most folks know about days. They understand that days are numbered and each is named but the names only account for a few days that fade into the obscurity of the past. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Fear As A Question: Whatcha Wanna Do Now?

Most folks know about panic. They understand that panic is a clue that they should do something but panic’s first suggestion must be ignored on accounta doing nothing ain’t applicable. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

The More Dude Tried To Not Act Like A Doof, The More Doofish He Acted.

Most folks know about proximity. They feel something when people or dogs are too close or even too far away but what they usually don’t know is that proximation, like hearing, goes away. Thank you, friend. Barry out.