Archive for October, 2014

Yain’t Doin’ Pizza At Tony’s. Pass Five.

Most folks order out. They order flatbread and salami or toilets a sparklin not to mention smailin’ good but they don’t count it as ordering out. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Meet Youse In Blahsit Land

Most folks are trapped. They don’t feel trapped though on account of never being free. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Get up. Yelawolf – Till It’s Gone  

Once Dude Got Out The Alcohol Plant

Most folks don’t name their life. They just live it as if all that could be done with said ball was to toss it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Learn To Second Guess Yerself And Do The Old That’s Bad That’s Good

Most folks are headstrong. They know what they know dagnabbit and not even themselves can tell them any different. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Like Randy Glowach Did

Most folks imagine shit. They just don’t broadcast it like this beggar did. Thank you, friend. Barry out. In a good way, Randy created reality. Reality was at his beck and call. I was in the cult of Randolph. We met on Teusdays. Ugly fucker.

If You Can’t Find Yer Place It’s Many

Most folks fight the wind. They walk against it, drive into it and curse it when it wings debris at them while a few other people milk it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Look To Yer Right. Luke Two Yer Wrong. Hugo There In The Middle.

Most folks think. They think just enough to keep their brain idling and that’s why they die in their sleep. Thank you, friend.  

There IS A Corral. You ARE In It.

Most folks know their place. They will spout off numbers and shit like there is no tomorrow in order for you to know their place on the planet. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

There Is A Hundred Flavors Of Vanilla To Be Had. Which One Do You Want?

Day one. Turkey good. Turkey is good. Turkey is really, really good.   Day two. Turkey good. Turkey still good. Turkey soup, Turkey stew. Is good!   Day three. Turkey good. Always turkey good. Who complain? Point ’em out… Turkey good!   Day four. Don’t like Turkey? Maybe eating sleep is better. Eating sleep or […]

Sad When A Person Falls From The Ferris Wheel & They Use It To Sell The Circus

Most folks want to be afraid. They want to be scared when they want to be scared and if it can’t be then, they’ll wait. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Oh Yeah? Said Dude. I’ll Change The Internet! He Rolls Up His Tongue To Type.

Many folks remember typewriters. They were machines that forgave not one mistake without the assistance of wondrous correction tape. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Where would the world be without Bette Nesmith Graham? The inventor of Liquid Paper?!

Dude Would Do Whatever Moved Him. If It Was A Bowel, Then Roger That.

Most folks have felt rotten. They have felt it physically and felt it emotionally and aside from the odor, they’re the same. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Click. Click. Clickity Click Click. There’s More Than One Click To This Game.

Most folks know about rhymes. They don’t however, know as much about pareidolia. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

It’s Just Eighty Percent. Eighty Percent. Shit’s Deep But Only Eighty Percent.

  Vilfredo Pareto. Vilfredo, he don’t know me. But he knew I was coming. There was a good chance Vilf knew that I would come. Hail to you pal! Across the eons of time. My man Vilf, the Vilfster, YOU SHINE. You said twenty percent gold. It’s there if you can dig it. And with Vilf’s […]

YEE HAW! It’s The Theory Of Expectation What Is King!

Most folks have visitors. They usually also first have dishes to do, bathrooms to clean & why wasn’t this done before? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Things Would Be Different If You Weren’t Standing There

Most folks know about rooms. They understand that their first thoughts are about the people next to them with one room over looking after itself. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Worrying Is A Great Pastime If You Don’t Get All Upset About It

Most folks can imagine happy. They wonder what the world would be like if Harold wasn’t such an ass & are suddenly relieved to not be him. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dying To Get Into Wikipedia

Most folks love peace. They understand that after war people always want peace so they skip a step. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

One Noid Dude Could Handle But A Pair Of Them? Nope.

Most folks want things to stay the same. They would also like things to improve if they could do so without risking any of the improvements about to be improved. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Terror As An Unshakable Illness

It’s the Huns, the Huns. They’re coming for us! Or is it the Nazis? They’re coming for us! Or is it the Commies? Al-Qaeda or ISIS? It has got to be someone, Lucifer is too nice now.   Thank you, friend. Barry out.

If You’ve Only The Dee and Most Of The En, Yer Still Missing The Entire Aye.

Most folks like stories. They like them so much that they can’t resist ’em. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Hurry! Finish Yer Mark Before High Tide Whisks It Away.

  There is no NEXT TUESDAY. The THIRTIETH is a scam! There’s only THIS HERE moment. Tomorrow’s a damn fraud DAMNED!   Thank you, friend. Barry out.

With His Hand Secretly Burnt To A Crisp, They Forced Him To Fire A Machine Gun.

Another concession bus story… It’s 1987 and my wife Kathy and I are scratching out a living by operating a concession bus. You know, one of those rolling french fry / hamburger joints created out of old school buses. Anyway, this job we scored because of our impressive pancake breakfast for the gun show in […]

When You Got Two Shoulders And The Same Guy On Both

Most folks know about eye-level. They understand that eye level is different for every person but it’s about from here to there. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Then Dude Groked That Many He Passed Were Dying Senseless Wasteful Deaths

Most folks know about pain. They have endured a little or a lot and the contrast that pain brings to life makes glorious those days without it. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Indebtedness to an honest man is an ache impossible to ignore.

And From Here The Salmon Are Fed Straight Into The Large Piranha Tank

Most folks know about muddy water. They understand that if it must be drank then it’s best to allow the mud to separate via settling. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

When Your Everything Has Gone For Shit Others Everything Better Not

Most folks know about buckling down. They understand that sometimes the hatches need to be buttoned down on account of clear sailing being intermittent. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dust Will Fly

Most folks know about the war on drugs. They believed in it like they believed in Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and nonstop birthday money. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Time, Once He Considered It, Went Fast Man. Really Damn Fast!

Most folks don’t know about Reticular. They don’t know about Activating  nor System and that right there puts them at a disadvantage. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Your Job? Make Heaven Seem Worse Than Life.

Most folks are going somewhere. They might be heading to hell in a handbasket but that’s still somewhere. Thank you, friend. Barry out.