Archive for November, 2014

They Threw Eggs Instead Of Bullets. Eggs Start Shit Where Bullets End It.

Most folks know about movies. They compare their life to movies and wonder, unlimited pop & popcorn for the whole fucking movie?! Don’t stop the show! Thank you, friend. Barry out. Pop in Canada for some Canadians means soft drinks. You want pop, water or juice, most really good parents ask. Or fizzy juice? Like […]

Fuck All Conditions Not Conducive To Our Existence

Most folks look at everything. They mistakenly believe that what they need is somewhere in the mix when what they really need is mixed up like them. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Yelawolf – Till It’s Gone

One Cop. One Good Cop Could Change The World…

  At age 14 I babysat a neighborhood RCMP member’s daughter. This was the early 70’s in Virden, Manitoba and this night really rocked my world. I wanted to be a cop soo bad. Just one cop, arresting bad guys and turning them around. Just like I was forced to do with my younger brothers […]

Dude Got Drunk And Talked To Cats

Most folks have inhibitions. They have no idea what they are, though. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Nope. I Don’t Think That Wave’s A Movin’.

Most folks do as they’re told. They sit there and stand there and march just where they’re told. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

The Police Union’s Last Dues

  The lights went out at 401 Fairing. The air conditioning turned off. Not a drop of water could be sprinkled in a basin. Whether shit basin, hand basin or bath. The telephones stopped working at 401 Fairing about the same time we felt uneasy. It was a general foreboding of overwhelming odds. Like shit […]

Loose Lips Sink Sheeps

Police can lie. They can legally make shit up. I almost shat my pants when I learned that. Police? Lie? Who da good guys?! The bad guys lie. They’re expected to. But if the good guys got to lie to catch ’em, then how we tell wrong from right? Whose right tonight? Is the winner […]

Boats Without Bilge Pumps Slowly Sink

Most folks know about water. They understand that water will come in ten ways from Sunday and if someone ain’t keeping  water levels low, they even out. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

Dude Was Like BOOM! I Got Shit On Ya!

Most folks have genes. They got them from someone else but now they got to rub the genie three times for wishes. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

An Upset Now Would Make Dude Right Side Up

Most folks aim for the middle. They imagine the middle as a safe place to be until they understand that the middle road is a heavy toll road. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

It Was A Sad Day In Hell When The Devil Started Missin’ Daze

Most folks have fears. They try not to face them though on account of mom and dad tucking them in so tight. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

He Spoke A Weird Language Of Hand Signals On A No Sound Flat Key Flute

Most folks know about typing. They understand that it is hardly taught anymore on account of qwerty DNA. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

If You Live Real Close To Insane, Yer Mouse Can Drive You There.

Most folks get perturbed. They are annoyed that the cat box didn’t get cleaned or the microwave quit working but they still have lots of mind left to lose. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Catching Shit From The Side

Most folks avoid head on. They don’t want a head on collision, they will not put their neck  on the line and hats off to all shit eaters. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Naw, Grief Dude Had Lots Of. It Was That Other Thing He Wanted.

Most folks want less hassle. They would like to be first in the soup line, last to be asked to help clean up and in the middle of something at chores. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Aah yep. Goin’ t’do chores… Who else gonna do ’em, aye?  

There Was No Sense Trying To Run Away Cause He Was Already Running Away.

Most folks want out. They want to go outdoors, they want outa this job and they want name changes all around every once in a while. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Once Dude Got All His Privacy, He Didn’t Want No More.

Most folks need time alone. They seek privacy and distance until they’re full right up with it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Anyone Listening Knows. I Tried To Do Right.

You try to do right. What else you gonna do? You try to do it right. By everyone and you. But if you gonna do it right, Right cannot exclude you.   Don’t you see? Right. If you gonna do right. Then fight. For the right to do right. Not this but every fight. Fighting […]

Find A Way, Any Way, To Squeeze Your Life Out Of Your Story.

Most folks have history. They are sometimes  better off knowing it and other times better making shit up. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

No Need To Be Rudely Rich. Rude Is Quite Enough.

Poor people think about money all the time. Where’d all that money go? How much we got left? When we gettin’ some more? Poor people don’t talk about run time. They don’t know about run time on account of there isn’t any. Never was. Run time to poor people is changing location under cover of […]

Signs Don’t Work. People Do.

Most folks have gut instinct. They usually ignore it though on account of their gut already telling them when to eat and shit. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Time Is On Yer Side Like Gravity Is On It’s Feet

Most folks hate being late. They would rater be on time and alive than have the shiniest headstone on the block. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Yer Attention Please.

Most folks know about concern. They understand it is normally difficult if not impossible to muster on account of there being so many cake sparklers. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

And Every Time They Offered A Job He’d Ask: “Can I Drink While Doing That?”

Many folks are assholes. They don’t have the faintest clue that they are assholes though, on account of being engulfed in a sizable “no shit!” stank. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Snot Crazy

Snot crazy to think your phone is bugged. The NSA got you covered, you big data-palooka, you. Snot crazy to think that your number is up to something. Social insurance got a number. Phones got a number, bank accounts, addresses, yer IP got a number… Snot crazy to imagine that peoples is out to get you. […]

Yer PenPal Is Dead

They scraped colored chalk against the sidewalk. I LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER was what the many times repeated message said and I wondered who the hell Justin Bieber was and what crazy force drove these young ladies to such fervor that they’d scrape out such a waste of chalk. Thank you, friend. Barry out. Not hatin on you […]

The Umbilical Cord She Stretch Soo Far

Tomato. Cut. Mustard. Cut. Complainers. Cut. The whole thing is to part apart. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

You Guys Who Try To Wear Me Down

Yo, FUCK YOU NIGGA! I fucking mean that. Son-of-a-bitch! Trying to take my rent money. Tried to take my rent money by raising his gas price. I need gas. Need rent. More gas, less fucking rent.  Motherfucker. Raisen the price of gas, taken my rent motherfucker! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Before Me Now

Many folks were someone else. They didn’t know french and they didn’t have a spouse and they didn’t want to kill them and hey, what’s with these cuffs? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

There’s A Reason Happy Should Be Spread

Most folks know about farts. They understand that good farts are difficult to detect while bad farts travel far, too far. Thank you, friend. Barry out.