Archive for February, 2015

Okay. It’s True. I Made The Internet. STFU.

Most folks know abbreviations. They say seeya when they mean Ineeda hug and no when yes was the candle lighter. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Time Will Not Use Me. I Will Use Time.

Most folks grow older. They grow older on account of they have to, right? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Be Really, Really Nice To People And They Will Try Hard Not To Shit On You

Most folks know tit for tat. They know it’s fair and square to piss on anyone who pisses them off. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Was Bigger Than His Frustration But Not By Very Damn Much

Most folks have emotions. They were never really taught how to employ their emotions so the odd screw gets hammered. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

If Yer Happy Dappy All The Time Maybe Yer Empathy Is Low

Most folks sport blinders. They come in all shades and colors but the majority choose invisible. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Brave Faces Are Alright But They Don’t Always Fit

Many folks can act happy. They pack up their troubles in their old kit bag and the beggars smile, smile, smile. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Jesus Don’t Stop Me. I’m Barely Movin’.

Most folks face setbacks. They seldom mark the spot where they encountered them though. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

The Errors! The Errors Were Speaking! My Gawd, THE ERRORS COULD TALK!

Most folks have ignored a problem. They understand that if they looked at the problem it would change and change them too and at this minute they don’t have time to change. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Mistakes Know Their Job And Get To Work As Soon As They Are Made

Most folks get tired. They get tired and still attempt to do stuff that right then should not be done. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

When You Have To Pay Attention To Things You Shouldn’t Oughta.

Most folks know their body is working. They adhere to an unspoken agreement between their “self” and them that says their body will let them know when it needs their involvement. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Crazy? She Got Driven There A Thousand Times A Day.

Most folks are easily bothered. They own the space in front of their car and every place in front of themselves in line and if you want to know about it, try butting in. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Clowns Own The Circus

Most folks know Warren Buffet. They understand that when Warren yells (& Warren never yells), SAIL! the lucky sailers sail. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

“Welp,” He Drawled, “I Guess That’s It. That’s All She Wrote For Ideas.”

Most folks have never seen a dead end. They aren’t plentiful, but they’re out there. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

It Was Only Magic The First Two Times. Then Magic Ceased To Exist.

Most folks enjoy good jokes. They bust out laughing & almost pee their pants upon hearing one but four repeats later and they don’t want to ever hear that stupid joke again. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Time, Like Water, Can Drown Without Mercy Or It Can Float Yer Boat.

Most folks know nada about time. They slip through it and time slides through them and one day when the two slippers click it’s like neither had any idea of the others existence. (Oh, what we could have done if we’d known!) Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Perfuckingsistance. Ya Ya Ya Dude Got All That…

Most folks won’t employ themselves. They don’t care for their attitude, their level of engagement sucks and they have only enough self discipline to feel guilty on cue and for this they need eighty-eight grand a year. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Is Colin Down In?

Callin down don’t live here anymore. And you better not be Colin Bach. Hear me?   Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Sent Loveletters To Himself

You shouldn’t hate on yourself. Taking jobs away from others.   Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Every Day Was Make Believe Make

Most folks dream at night. They lose out on a pile of daytime dreaming. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Where To From Afraid?

Most folks have been rushed. They tranced out at a red light or spaced out after entering a new room and in that moment there were zero choices. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Was A Shit Happener

Most folks get clumsy. They knock shit over and stir shit up and they’d like to do all that without splashing shit all over themselves. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

He Got Very, Very Good At Shredding Reality.

Many folks can ruin your day. They piss in the cornflakes while wiping their nose on your hanky and by gawd you gotta eat those pissy cornflakes and dip your nose into their snot. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Although He Didn’t Like It Much, Crybaby Was His Name.

Most folks complain. They don’t usually rectify whatever they are pissed about, they just bleed out. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Lessee… Earth Spins, Solar System Spins, But Me, I Don’t Take A Turn.

Most folks know about sharing. They promise that if they win the lottery, THEN they will do everyone a good turn. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

And Remember As Yer Hitting Them Ask “Why’d You Make Me Do This?”

Most folks can read. They comply with warning signs but underlying scripts they do not read. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Dude Was So Full Of Shit The Options Were Gone, Some Had To Come Outa His Mouth.

Most folks fib. They stretch the truth so far that everyone imagines they can see through it. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Beware The Fake Smiley Whiler

Most folks can pretend. They can mimic nearly everything but can’t seem to pull off a decent artificial Duchenne smile. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Get Good And Fucking Sick And Tired Of Being Fucking Sick And Tired.

Many folks say that’s enough. They don’t care how much or how many, they just wrestle that mother fucker powow to the ground. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Does He Let Them Yawn Or Keep The Bloody Doors Closed?

Most folks lose interest. They lose it like threads from a garment into amounts that can only be gurnied. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

More Afraid Than He Needs To Be

Most folks carry so much fear. They can’t carry any more of their own fear but if you need to offload some of your fear then yeah, welcome a bored. Thank you, friend. Barry out.