And So This Ten Year Old Girl Sells Me A Four Pack Of Beer

Signs Are Too PowerfulGet your chunk of Sympathy Rage Cake.

The middle of nowhere.

This is the destination I had been traveling toward for three Broken Pavement Ahead hours.

Now, through terrible weather and Red River Cart hacked up roads, I had finally arrived!

The place was comprised of barely enough houses to mark a map and a combination gas station / grocery / fishing shack / liquor / pile of fireworks / hardware / news-knowledge parlor / store which made the pretend path necessary and as my bladder was yelling full I decided to pay the humble enterprise a visit.

I met the store owner / manager / janitor as I entered the establishment and he kindly directed me to a sex segregated bathroom which seemed weirdly out of place for this rural oasis.

Peeing always encourages my beneficence and this time I engaged reciprocation via purchasing a four pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade from the ten year old girl working the cash register.

Sure, her dad paused for a second but instantly recognized me as a nondiscriminatory person with zero compunction about buying booze from a minor.

Indeed, I am eternally grateful that my young alcohol peddler treated me no different than the cucumber purchaser ahead of me and her naivete on the laws and societal beliefs we were innocently ignoring meant squat to her.

Or her friendly, loving father and me.

That’s a place worth visiting.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

http://youtu.be/YgMWUDVCC5o
Hot Hot Heat – “Middle Of Nowhere”

Don’t get mad if I’m laughing
Blame the caffeine for all the 5 am phone calls
I haven’t slept a single night in over a month
And not even once did you start to make sense to me
Well maybe I’m a little bit slow, or just consistently inconsistent
She said, “Unpredictability’s my responsibility, baby.”

But you’re waiting at the door where everybody’s hanging out just like they hung out before
You didn’t have to do it but you did it to say
That you didn’t have to do it but you would anyway

To give you something to go on when I go off back to the middle of nowhere
To give you something to go on when I go off back to the middle of nowhere

They chewed me up and then they spit me out
And I’m not supposed to let it bother me
But maybe I’m a little bit weak – I let my frailty take the wheel
She said, “Maybe there’s a bit of me waiting for a bit of you. baby.”

But you’re waiting at the door where everybody’s hanging out just like they hung out before
You didn’t have to do it but you did it to say
That you didn’t have to do it but you would anyway

To give you something to go on when I go off back to the middle of nowhere
To give you something to go on when I go off back to the middle of nowhere

But you’re waiting at the door where everybody’s hanging out just like they hung out before
You didn’t have to do it but you did it to say
That you didn’t have to do it but you would anyway

To give you something to go on when I go off back to the middle of nowhere
To give you something to go on when I go off back to the middle of nowhere
To give you something to go on – to go on back to the middle of nowhere

Lyrics courtesy: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hothotheat/middleofnowhere.html

 

6 Responses to “And So This Ten Year Old Girl Sells Me A Four Pack Of Beer”

  1. Vodka cooler does not sound as tough as beer and I apologize right now for calling Mike’s Hard Lemonade beer.

    Mike’s is for pussies and uh, yeah, that’s all they had that was cold…

    [Reply]

  2. The Law of The Situation, I believe.

    [Reply]

  3. Where no law exists, only good people can reside.

    Of course, that’s only if Dr. Tom Burnett and his side arms or young uns is living with ya.

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  4. How come the no rules thing works okay in rural areas but has to be gun enforced in higher population areas?

    Are all bets off on account of there being too many rats in our cages?

    [Reply]

  5. It’s people like you which make my day…

    [Reply]

  6. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I feel that you must write more on this matter, it may not be a taboo subject however usually individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

    [Reply]

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