Archive for the 'Assholes Annonymous' Category

The Television “Program” Saturday Night Live Runs A Laugh-Track.

Why? Cause laughing people makes for people laughing! Hah! Barry

And For Every Hammer A Scratch

He got drunk and fell down. Drunk and fell down. Couldn’t fall up. Always fell down. Kepp on floppin’ Always head down. Didn’t see the scratches Bleedin’ on the ground. Makin’ Blood Lake an Ah ain’t gonna drown. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

You’re A Long Way From Terry Barry

One day he stopped yelling. Kickin’ up dust andy Really cut back onna People he trust causa Silly damn beggars put up So much fuss that he Jumped and left ’em wailin’ under Their own damn bus. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Mister Brown Says Shush

Babble. Do you speak babble mister Brown? Rattle. Can you rattle this clown? Saddle. Do we shut your ride down? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

The President

It’s right now stupid. Not tomorrow and No time now to Settle da scoreo. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Be Best Buds With Your Body

Oh, you’d like me to change? Would you? Like me to change but would you? Would you? You whom would, surely could, Show me just how to change. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Reality Fades

He took a wrong turn in the corn maze. Took a left instead of right. He was stuck in that damn corn maze Many bloody nights. He fought fear of yellow kernels And the green arms that wrapped them tight. He heard their woody stalks calling out to him Softly in the cool moonlight. You’re […]

I Am Stupid And I Know It. Clap My Hands!

Hanging or firing squad? What’s it gonna be? Guys like me don’t pension out. You do as you please. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Lordy Done Kick Some Cat

It’s micro macro. Say it’s not. Name one mousetrap You ain’t caught. Past all paid for. Way past bought. Thinkin’ stinkin’. Other’s thoughts. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Anyone Can Direct But Few Directors Do

You mustn’t stay in character all day long. A dozen bloody costume changes, Please stay strong. Memorized the dialogue and the Actor’s faces. Knew every curtain call and All the actor’s places. Now you want to improv. Change up all the lines. Wanna make the actors mad? You wanna hear ’em whine? Change a bloody […]

Think And Grow Rich With It’s Secret Hidden In The Title

Thoughts are things. That don’t always work. I think I’ll rake the lawn. Or maybe make a shirk. Maybe she hates me. Why she so critical? What that she say? Said I‘m invisible…? Bitch! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Ruh-Ruh-Ruh-Ricochet Habit

Don’t look under your shirt. Don’t look into your shoes. Who’s that wrecking your shit? Sure as hell ain’t you! Is it? Gettin’ creamed on a crosswalk. Tossed off of your boss hog. Fused vertebrae my god. Pally those roads got traps. Who damn trappin’?! Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Your Attention Please: Please Ignore Your Program.

Rules. Who needs ’em? Goules. Who breeds ’em? Tools. Who feeds ’em? Cause they’re everywhere. And they don’t care. Who they have to scare To keep the Piece. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Don’t Eat That Elmer, That’s Horseshit.

Creepy travels far and fast. Packaged in a stare that lasts and lasts. Hide yourself from here and fast. Oughta give that creep a blast. Oh, wait a minute. He’s blind. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Know Yer Funnels

Eye, you’ve got shit flyin’ in. Shit from every angle. Do ya see where it’s flyin’ in from? Thousand cow burgers. Three dollar water from they’ll Never sell damn water and This shit here, it never Goes outa season! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

God’s Off The Hook Again

He didn’t save Nadine and Couldn’t bust Jerry’s kidney stones. God don’t suffer fools and when he does The non fools groan. He won’t bring peace to the middle east And he kinda lets the colors scrap. No, God don’t do that much it seems, Unanswered prayers like that. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

This Was Man Made Afraid

Ah you don’t wanna love less Your love get lost. You know damn well at Love hasa cost. It don’t take cheques and has No balances. An lordy help those overdrawn. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

See Just Below Crazy? At’s Where We’re Headed!

Shh quiet! I thought I heard something. Something I should not have heard. I shouldn’t have heard you utter ya. Utter at discouraging word. I should not. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Oh Jesus Please Tell Me That’s You

Your heart can be opened up you know. Without being opened up. Your eyes can be wide seeing nothing but scars. But not wide enough to see that thars Blinders that look nada like blinders. Grinders that surely don’t grind. And if that is you Jesus with your hand on my shoulder, Could ya take […]

Then A Guy Whose Never Had Pie In His Life Will Judge The Baking Contest

Look who runs the circus. Charging an entry fee. You just watch from here now. See here the circus free. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

What To Do When The Cattle Start Mooing

Racket next door. Do you therefore Become heat score Juss cause some cows is rustling? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Advice Five Bucks. Prepayment Advised.

Damn rights I know. I know you don’t. Confuzzeled is where you live. And though you have no thing to offer, Two shits is what I give. Now move along. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

All Business Is Show Biziness

Why ya dint listen ta me? Why it always me, me, me? Why you refuse to see? Why this way can’t be. Why when you cut I bleed? Some’n here do need freed. Maybe that some’n is me… Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

The Trans-Lators

Hey you’ve got a tie on! I can speak to you. ‘Cause man, you’ve got a tie on and I do too! I know you. Profit motive view. Corporator you. Do it! Do it! Get down to it! Yes sir. Yep. I know you. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

I’m Not Gonna Waste Your Time. In Fact I’m Gonna Make Some.

My god you’re good at hiding mistakes. You’ve got the moves like a bad boy fakes A right while wrestlin’ Kid Reality. But The Kid don’t duck cause you telegraph see And until you know this You ain’t free. There’s no easy ride for you. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

I Want My Stories To Speak For Themselves

And they can pay any fines And do any time They need to ’cause They stand alone! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Luke! Over Here!

Those dang magicians. They say they’re going to trick you Then they do! Astonished audiences. Devour the magic fable while sipping White gloved witches brew. They are at best confused. Which reality to refuse? The white gloves or their muse? Ah! What’s to win or lose? Just sit back now and choose To watch the […]

See The Good Lord’s Also In The Seestem

Ya got your no good guy and Your hey good guy and Your wasn’t me, Untouchable, I’m in their club guy. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

Just Killin’ Time At The House

Maybe some wouldn’t call it murder. Just Ivan doing what Ivan does. The son-of-a-pupster kills Always for fun and Ivan kills just because. Won’t look you in the eye past two seconds. Thats all then he knows what you know. He pretends that he doesn’t though That you’re in control But deep down its true, […]

Lordy, How They Loved Them Some Bacon!

There were pigs downstairs and In the next room and the Whole garage was fulla Them too and it was Pigs in the morning, Night and at lunch. They seemed to like pigs A whole damn bunch. They stank like pigs and Thought it was cool and Their clothes bore pigs And their hats and […]