Archive for the 'Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Badge' Category

They Called Him Cock And Asian But He Felt Contagion

  They say you’re sixty and white. You know that sixty ain’t right. But you ain’t no fighter, More like delighter And a star shining bright through the night. They say you’re short and you’re fat. They seem to get off doing that. You think that that isn’t rat. So you identify them as spoiled […]

He Had A Problem With Authority And Authority Had A Problem With Him

  He did better on his lonesome. Crowds, he found them loathsome. Hankered to be alone some. Pointers, he needed not. Stealthy, to not get caught. Opinions unsold or bought. A pathway clearly fraught With peril. Barry  

Pull It Out

You don’t know shit And you know it. You’re faking it all the way. Nodding your head, making eye contact. Hoping that you don’t say *** I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about! My head is way up my ass. If you think I know what I’m talking about You must be high […]

When You Represent Yourself

  You don’t look like anybody. If anything, they look like you. There is only one of you and To that one you must be true. You can think for yourself. Make up your own damn mind. You be the one who winds you up and You do the big unwind. Look at yourself as […]

If Fear Catches Me

  He didn’t want to be But he was, alone. Even his third man factor had gone. The wind bit his face. Dawgs on his arse. Getting was good but the good was sparse. Damning the torpedoes. Ziggin’ on the zag. Climbin’ out the box when it isn’t his bag. Barry

If You’ve Never Been To Heaven, Can You Tell Us What It’s Like?

He smoked marijuana. A lot of it. He and marijuana were a damn good fit. He could talk about it. Tell about it. See it for all it’s worth. But the folks who made marijuana laws Made marijuana hurt. Barry

Some Folks Get God And Other Folks, They Get Cancer.

  Life is a pantry. Filled or not filled. It’s shelves can be loaded Or everything spilled on The floor and the door The damn door will not open! And it’s you on the inside Hearing words not yet spoken Why would you? It’s useless… Your pantry door’s broken. Barry

Contrarian To The Rescue

Jesus you better not listen. Better not pay no mind. Cause if you do they’ll see you too They’ll find you and unwind You. Barry Nick Begich “DARPA Is Testing New Mind Control Technology On Unwitting Civilian Victims.”

The Monition Of Prem

Say what you think will happen. Maybe just speak your mind. Maybe your mind is onto something. Don’t be left behind. Barry

Son, Please Toil Diligently But Not For Those Cocksuckers.

Opportunity looks like a sinking ship. Bilge pump overtime. And salvage work, it ain’t so bad. Cleanin’ up mar-eyen. Mar-eyen? You know? This place you tend to go? And brought you everyone else there. Where you now reside, you know? So map it out then, mark your course. You are the wind, the oxen… horse. […]

I Know I Don’t Know Do You?

Four levels of hal-lo? You don’t know you don’t know You know you don’t know You know you know You don’t know you know Fight like the dickens to get to level 2. Slide into Level 3. Level 4 becomes you. Barry

The Climate, She Changes And Santa’s Make Believe.

Don’t look into the sun today. Maybe tomorrow too. Cause the sun is hotter and bigger than eyes. And a whole lot bigger than you. Barry  

Don’t Forget Your Middle Name GENE

Dammit I wish I was too fat! You’re so tall. You’re so smart. Grew up from a little fart. Or maybe fart’s too vague. Too widespread ’cause Who you are and what you doz was In you long before you was. Barry

Failure Comes In Particles Then Waves

The truth, she hurts when she bites. See, the truth is you ain’t been paying attention. Least, not to those moving reeds, Nor those cracking branches. The panting, that sneeze?! Sheesh! Open your eyes! And get up off your knees!! Barry

Don’t You Say Nothin’ Or Ahl Say Some’in

You bore me with predicability Flash madness see You kick my knee at Set me free ta See you. Boo hoo. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

They Were Exactly The Same Except For Their Height

Yin is black. Yang is white. They are not the same! Alright? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Play The Bossanova

A ruler awaits. To hell with greats. This fellow here needs mention. Take it on slow now. Stopping shorta holy cow. Savoring the lack of attention. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Wisdom Pinches But It’s A Hurty-Happy Pain

Don’t let the screen door Hit you on the ass As you scamper toward the exit. You are going out. You are going down. With all the hints you couldn’t have guessed it?! Put your damn hands out! Before you hit the ground! Cause when it’s lights out The ground will smudge your crown. You […]

Of The Four, He Trusted Trigger And Scout.

Hey you wearin’ that mask! And you there wearin’ them skins! Any idea how many memes You packin’ or where them memes have been? YOU dressin’ induns like induns! YOU good, white man in a mask! You are makin’ some minds up. You are programmers, yes? Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

They Had The Who, What, Where But Still No Why.

She was motive blind. Smiled and nodded While the beggars secreted her kind. Under cover of darkness Missus Harkness Gave ’em all they could find. She could make it. Fake it. Bake before they take it. Anything to unwind. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Lordy Done Kick Some Cat

It’s micro macro. Say it’s not. Name one mousetrap You ain’t caught. Past all paid for. Way past bought. Thinkin’ stinkin’. Other’s thoughts. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

The Coaches Were Players And They Too Were Played

Ah, ya bet and ya bet and ya bet and ya bet. I bet that those bets have have not added up yet To a win from those wins where your winning starts spinning A yarn where you win without winning at all. Line up to win winnings but then losing you bawl Why can’t […]

Oh, Just Creating Monsters Is All.

He said no aggression. Your first impression Counts. Said take it easy. Don’t be sleazy. Nothing smells like bounce. Said you’re a good guy Why don’t you try To be a wee bit gooder? Cause if you can Then you’ve outran Shoulda Coulda Woulda. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

God I Like Talking With You

The lord she spake to me this day. She said Barry look at life this way. She said you’re not here. I’m not here too. Then where does what we are come through? She said it comes to you. Comes to you I knew was true. Who you are comes to you… Thank you, friend. […]

With Any Luck At All, You’ll Die A Thousand Deaths.

Goddammit he hated himself. He was such an ass. Maybe shit would straighten out If that bastard passed. He could pass Would pass Should pass ya? Buy how he gonna pass And continue to hah? Maybe pass a little away each day. Slide out slow. Act as though Everyone stayin’ the same. But they ain’t… […]

The Problem Is No Problem

You can’t be wrong. Make no mistakes. Eat ugly cake. At your lies bake. I dine with you. Eata humble stew. That leads into The School of Barry Cam Doon. Ahh, fack it… Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Please ‘O Please Have A Gut

He ain’t been seen since The Billy Jack scene And in between was it Full ahead steam Or some hand cream to Sooth the scream that No one means to Slip between Their leeps. Please be fat, mister Brown. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Nothing Is As It Appears And Even That Seemed A Little Off

Santa doesn’t wear his suit Every day of the year. Sometimes Santa works like an elf, Other times drunk on beer. Sometimes Santa let’s shit pile up Out in the reindeer barn, Santa has been known to argue with his missus, And drunk he says fuck not darn. Yep, the story of life is a […]

Yes, He Knew The Big Bad Wolf Was Real And Came A Couple Wolves At A Time.

You know you don’t know. You do, don’t you do? Know and don’t you know what you don’t know will Bring you to now know but You’ll know now you don’t know. You don’t know, you don’t! Thank you, Not Knowing. Barry out.

Thirty One Souls On Board The Good ‘Ol Starsheep Bartholimew

Oh you’ve got some splainin’ to do! When you remove your head from your whoo. Until then, keep mumblin’, It’ll ensure you’re humble when It comes your time to talk. Please brusha teet. Thank you, friend. Barry out.