Fuck I miss you sometimes father!
All the times I never thought about you when you were alive.
All the times I didn’t talk to you when I could’ve…
Course, you weren’t much of a talker yourself.
“If only…” was the wisest thing I ever heard you say.
I miss your burning example.
You set yourself on fire.
Not once but many times and not just yourself but so many others!
I miss you Dad.
I’ll never spot a gas can again without flashing back to your pyromania and how it almost killed us.
How it burned you up,
so hot and stinky,
in a drop and roll vinyl tablecloth.
Over a scorched skin hell that good lawd willing,
none of us will ever, ever know.
But you did, Dad. You knew…
Hell was a place you knew!
Goddammit I miss you Dad!
You joined AA and fuck the anonymous.
You started your own church!
A younger you woulda turned us boys into new age traveling preachers.
But your seed, it don’t fence so well and as such, wouldn’t be kept.
Our reins, as you well knew, would not be pulled.
And history Dad, is where we’re headed.
Heading toward with all our might.
The good, the bad, you & me.
Go this way, outa sight.
Thank you, friend.