Easily Read Twenty Four Books a Year Using This Toilet Training Technique

girl sitting on toilet reading
You still have to pull your pants down

Lets say you go to the bathroom.

And like most other full of crap folks, you squeeze out two number twos a day.

There, you’ve already got the makings of your own poop learning center.

Garbage Out & Good Stuff In

Statistics about learning / reading for adults in North America are astounding.

Most folks never pick up another book after leaving school but with the system I’m talking about here, there is no excuse for it.

Knowledge, at one time, was scarce for the common man and although we are now surrounded by it in many forms, the “average” person still does not take advantage of this opportunity to improve their station in life.

Look at these dismal statistics for self learning in North America:

  • 58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school
  • 42% of college graduates never read another book
  • 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year.
  • 70% of US adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years
  • 57% of new books are not read to completion.
  • Most readers do not get past page 18 in a book they have purchased.

With those stats in mind, here is my ingenious toilet training technique:

  1. Place a small magazine / book rack in your bathroom.
  2. Put six books you would like to read in the rack.
  3. Every time you hit the biffy, spend the time between grunts reading a good book.
  4. If you pinch a lot of loaves at work, take along a book to keep your mind focused on learning.

Okay, two craps per day times 30 days per month = 60 craps x 10 minutes each = 600 minutes per month spent just snapping stools.

You should be able to read the average book in 5 hours (300 mins) which would allow for two books to be read per month.

That’s twenty-four new books per year that you will have read!

Think how much smarter or aware you will be while everyone else is spending their time holding a wad of toilet paper, you are holding the future of humankind in your hands!

Sell Your Children NOT Your Books

No one will purchase books which have a bunch of pages dog eared or lines drawn on them.

several guys in bathroom with one guy on toilet
Watch your occupancy levels

And that’s exactly the way your bathroom books should wind up because the only way to get the most from reading is to dog ear every interesting page and underline each passage you find intriguing.

When it comes time to re-read the book because your mind is now changed, you can simply head to the dog eared pages and scan the underlined info.

And who knows, these bathroom brain breaks might enhance your learning process to the point where you are eliminating crap and stupidity at the same time!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

21 Responses to “Easily Read Twenty Four Books a Year Using This Toilet Training Technique”

  1. Hi Barry,

    This puts a whole new slant on toilet training for me, but hey I may just give it a try!

    Very thought provoking as always Barry.

    Regards and back soon,

    Brian
    Brian Alcock recently posted..The Go Giver – My Business Bible

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    I read the go-giver while on the terlot and now whenever I get a stomach cramp I think of another concept from the book.

    Probably that would be called muscle memory…

    Thanks for stopping by, Brian.

    [Reply]

  2. Once again you’ve proven we must be brothers Barry. 8) I’ve been using this technique since I was kid. It’s rare to find someone who openly advocates it however, even my book reading mates don’t admit to it.

    Reading on the loo has a number of advantages. Number one, is you have a lock on the door, and are guaranteed an undisturbed read. Number two,(if you forgive the pun),is that it enhances the pleasure. 😉 I enjoy reading and I enjoy a good c**p, doing both at the same time doubles your money. 😆

    My stomach slightly turned, not at the highly sensible loo reading system, but at the thought of turning the corner of pages and underlining stuff. 🙄 I used to do that a long time ago, until it was pointed out to me that it ruins the book.

    Now I have pristine clean books, and it takes me AGES to find the quote I want. 😮

    John
    John McNally recently posted..Happy Sheep and Happy Artist

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    Yeah, when I think of all the books I’ve ruined by bending the pages and writing all over the margins…

    Unless, of course, I become famous. Then those books will be worth a fortune!

    Yes! Yes! YES!

    [Reply]

    Bill Murney Reply:

    @John McNally,

    Too much information!

    Bill

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    It goes without saying that all these books would be marked: “Do Not Lick” – once they were read.

    Of course.

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  3. Hi Barry

    Well pal, I certainly can’t fault your logic. Perhaps it should go on the schools ciriculum, then kids would have a habit for life.

    Sales of books and book racks would increase along with knowledge and appreciation of litary talent. People could even get addicted and spend more time on the crapper than watching inane TV programmes.

    It would be a winner all round Barry.

    Bill

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    @Bill Murney,
    Buddy, I think you’re onto something!

    I can hear the hit tunes!

    “Learnin’ in the Boys Room”

    “Givin’ a Shite for Smart”

    “Pinching a Loaf for Intelligence”

    Bill, the hits would keep on coming and hoity toity folks would have an entirely different reason to hike their snozzes into the air.

    Good one, pal.

    [Reply]

  4. Bary,

    You have my kind of insanitary, youy know your post is full of s*** for the right reasons, and man it gets people to buy yours or anybody elses ‘information products’, then were talking a new innovative way to sell them and make more money than playing on the *CRAPS* tables!

    WEY HEY later Barry….Ed.

    [Reply]

  5. Howdy Ed,

    Buddy, if I am anywhere close to the same kind of insanitary that you are, that would be a blessing and my good fortune.

    Thanks so much for visiting Ed, hopefully some of who you are rubs off…

    Have a grand day, pal

    [Reply]

  6. You are a mad man!

    I like it. LOL LOL LOL

    Maybe I can incorporate teaching parents this system of reading to their children in my Doodle DYEnamics workshops. LOL

    Gayla

    [Reply]

    Alan Ashwood Reply:

    Look Lady, as the only male in the house, I have enough trouble getting to the bathroom as it is!
    Wife and 3 daughters, and only one bathroom accessible at the moment.
    I think my eldest (11 year old) poos for England, taking, on average 45 minutes to ablute, and the littlest one, the maggot (6), takes her teddies in there so she can play teacher.
    No way am I going to encourage more time in there, unless I can build myself an outhouse, or drive to the local library (which has a toilet).
    I can’t believe I’m typing this at 3.45 in the morning.

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    Great sense of humor you have there, Alan.

    I have a young chap who turned sweet 16 today (our youngest) and yes, he likes to hog the bathroom to the same degree that my bladder and sphincter integrity are diminishing.

    Someday I’ll give him “what for” if he doesn’t hurry up and vacate the loo.

    I’m glad to hear you are a nighthawk, too. When most the brains are shut down there are waay more thoughts available to the rest of us…

    Thanks pal – talk to you soon.

    [Reply]

  7. Madam, I resemble that remark!

    You are on the right track here, missus.

    By coupling Doodle DYEnamics (I love the name and the concept, by the way…) with the poop parade, we can eliminate boring bathroom breaks while enhancing personal creativity and relationships!

    Now, how do we get bathrooms set up in reading circles…

    Thanks for visiting Gayla, I really love what you are doing on your blog and with Doodle DYEnamics.

    [Reply]

  8. Hey Barry, great idea.

    I just installed some bookshelves in there and now I am looking forward to some relaxing read time 🙂

    Peter

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    Hey Peter,

    I’m honored you would find this a viable idea because you already have letters behind your name and could quite likely quit reading altogether and folks would still listen to you.

    I shore do like the way you think, mister and really like your blog. http://peterfuller.org/

    Thanks for your time Peter, talk to you next week.

    Barry

    [Reply]

  9. Hi Barry,
    Thanks so much for these time management and energy conserving techniques. The need for thus is so high now that we these are life-saving information, otherwise we dry out knowledge. Great stuff!
    xx Enomfon xx
    Enomfon recently posted..HELP! I NEED TO SLOW DOWN!

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    Thank you, madam.

    I really like what you are doing on your blog and will be by to check on your progress.

    Plus, with your brilliant color and properly placed happy face, I feel happier than I did a few minutes ago.

    Have a grand day Enomfon.

    Barry

    [Reply]

  10. Holy Alan!

    You get Pervs Gazette?!

    Wow! I love that tome because it reveals where high minded citizens might be able to score fake police badges, handcuffs and replica weapons. Then, as far as I know, all a feller has to do is show these items to people and they will give you money and in some cases, their freedom…

    All from reading the right book!

    I’m so glad to have “attracted” you because now we can plot, er I mean plan how to influence everyone on the planet with our nefarious shenanigans.

    Loved your story about the bat and thanks so much for visiting. I’d say you’re almost as twisted as I am…

    [Reply]

  11. Thanks a lot mate, I have been looking for this guide for a long time, thanks!

    [Reply]

    Barry Williams Reply:

    Remember to wash your books every time you finish reading.

    [Reply]

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