One hour ago I received a phone call from John R, a Sheriff with The Saskatchewan Government.
Sheriff John is seriously interested in getting some payback for the creditors of my last business failure and he asked me some hard questions about how I plan to repay a boatload of money. The Good Sheriff wants to see justice done and I don’t blame him. If I were on the other end of this stick and someone owed me millions of dollars, I”d want Sir John on my side, too.
But he ain’t on my side. He’s agin me and that makes all the difference about how his call affected me.
Nothing here, c’mon folks, move on…
Regardless, Press On
I feel a wee bit sick right now because I don’t know what to do even though I’m quite aware of what I won’t be doing and that’s – nothing. Even though I’ve spent a couple of hours writing and rewriting this article, just having this blog allowed me to get into action right away and I feel much better for recording my thoughts about this incident.
So many times over the past few difficult months I have experienced this same wave of momentary hopelessness. I’m SCREWED! (no, I’m not) YES, I”m Screwed! (oh no I’m NOT!) Back and forth those two emotions fight while I’m writing this and they’ve been battling in my stomach for some time now.
But the more I think of this story and my effort at this very moment, the weaker the feeling of fear becomes while the notion that possibility exists all around me grows. As I write these words it expands even further.
Even Imaginary, You’re a Good Buddy
My final words to Sheriff John were to the effect that because of previous stupidity I am unable to declare bankruptcy and as a result will have to negotiate with my creditors. Unfortunately, all my cookie jars are empty at this time but I’ve filled many jars in the past, I can load these babies up, too.
Just to dispel any assumption that my life might be some kind of fairytale, the serious Sheriff wound up our conversation with menacing words which tossed some wimbly wobbly into my legs. “I’ll be back in touch with you real soon,” he growled, official like.
After hanging up the phone I paced nervously around my basement for a few minutes, getting all sick up and fed. Thankfully, before I started taking out the different size nooses an idea struck me to write this note to you describing how I’m handling this all so brave like and such.
Just knowing you’re there, reading this, keeps me focused on positive action instead of those parasitic thoughts of futility.
I’m very fortunate to have you to write to.
Hopefully you’ll write back.
Thank you, friend.