Original ideas are a dime a dozen.
Here is my formula for faking new perspectives:
- I think of something: for example (cars) and ask my mom and dad: (wikipedia and google) about it.
- They tell me lots of stuff no one should ever have to know about something – let’s say automobiles.
- I look for the most frightening or absurd concept about vehicles, get my crayons out and start pretending.
Where I get my ideas:
- This thing plus one. Cars are dangerous and people more preoccupied. Add phone worms in people’s ears. Hmm. I wonder where this is headed and I don’t mean figuratively…
- Reading between the lines. Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird, a plane, what is it? Its an idea hiding right there between those two obvious ones!
- What Did You Just Call Me?! I visit my dad’s girlfriend (thesaurus.com) whom I am infatuated with to get her side of my story.
- Dis-inhibitors: Wine and Lysergic Acid Diethylamide seem to help me (you’ve got to watch your levels, though). If you can produce something worthwhile reading from the same mindset as your reader, puh-leease let me know how you do it.
- Cesarean Section a Title – I know this is important and I screw up here all the time. But once you have a name for your country, a flag and national anthem are right behind.
Creating The Article
I have limited talent in this field but this whole process is imaginary so I pretend that I do have at least rudimentary writing skills and begin typing things which often resemble words.
Initially, I just write down any ideas and proprietary evidence (no one is an expert on what I think but me!) that come into my awareness. The concept which I have developed to this point is at best normal and at worst stupid. (I call this framing) - hard to improve on nothing.
Then, I refine the story by using more appropriate words to clarify the new thoughts I am having. I also try to chop out unnecessary language at this point. (patching & painting)
Next, I attempt to shine up those ideas by putting my special distortion on them and hopefully have enough made up original stuff to override a few of the smarter arguments which might carelessly attempt to disprove my opinion. (Tom Foolery)
Other than posting your now original threats and then occasionally checking / updating the post as your worldview shifts over the next few days, your job as a budding cadet author is well underway!
Atten – Hut!
Thank you, friend.
PS. In 96 hrs I updated this post 12 times as my mind changed about how to try and tell you the story properly.(July 28, 2010)
Update: Feb 4, 2012 (end of the world year)
This is my new and improved story inwenchion process:
1. Blab a title. Any order of words will work because chances are good you’ll be changing them anyway.
2. Imagine and record as many points as possible about your concept and then read between your lines.
3. All ideas may be bent but not killed. Tortured but never extinguished. Stretched but not snapped.
4. Start with some weird aspect of your idea. The opposite of it, remark on its strangeness. Keep this short.
5. Expand on your idea from any degree within the 360 available to you in a couple of hundred words.
6. Finish by explaining how things would be so much better if you were running the world.
7. Fake proof for your concept so it can enter the psychological lexicon of your culture.
8. Start adding PhD behind your name.
9. Wake up the next day and edit your story while sober.
10. Keep editing over daze as the idea gels or gets slippery. Kill no idea. Ever.
11. Maintain your writing fluid levels and make your words form shapes.
12. Don’t believe everything you read, hear or see.
13. For criminy sakes, pull something new out of reality.
14. At ease, author!
Update #2 December 2012
See, I didn’t think we were going to last this long so now I have to update this stupid story again… Sheesh!