The Erosion of Empathy = Too Many People To Care About So Everyone Gets Less

“Okay! Jesus, FINE!

Just settle down and I’ll get the manager. Okay…?”

The tall sideways woman in front of me was upset. Really upset.

She was doing the Damn Dissatisfied dance and putting every friggin move she could muster into it.

It mattered not that the minimum wage earner she was nattering at was only barely engaged in the conversation or that her entire audience was being needlessly delayed by her animated performance.

As the mildly amused holder of just one service number behind Mrs. Bent Outofshape, I was glued to my spot – mesmerized by the spurious mood clouds that drifted crazily across her epidermis.

Stuck in their own proper places, every other complainer was also hypnotized by the purplish green hues which flushed hokey-pokey across Frau Fuming’s fleshy upper body & face and together we watched apprehensively as the splotches collided to form scary shapes undoubtedly containing deep religious meanings.

And as each of us endured her exasperated, expectant whining I couldn’t help but wonder where we had gone so wrong as a civilization…

What wrong turn had brought us to this point in our evolution and why in the world were we:

1. Lining up like placid, ignorant cattle behind Madam Coronary?

2. Lining up for our lick of satisfaction salt?

3. Lining up?

After being ejected from the que I made a pledge to myself that I would never again form up to get the attention of others.

Nope. Purple clouds are too scary and the rest of my life won’t wait.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

There are cures for stress beyond just having your normal heart attack. Dr. Jay Hawkins tells all here:

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – Heart Attack and Vine

Liar, liar with your pants on fire

White spades hangin’ on the telephone wire

Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line

You’ll never recognize yourself on heartattack and vine

Doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief

Philly Joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,

If you want a taste of madness, you’ll have to wait in line

You’ll probably see someone you know on heartattack and vine

Boney’s high on China White, Shorty found a punk

Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, that’s just Screamin’ Jay when he’s drunk

Well this stuff will probably kill you, let’s do another line

What you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine

[guitar solo]

See that little Jersey girl in the see-through top

With the peddle pushers sucking on a soda pop

Well I bet she’s still a virgin but it’s only twenty-five to nine

You can see a million of ’em down on heartattack and vine

Better off in Iowa against your scrambled eggs

Than crawling down the boulevard on a pair of broken legs

You’ll find that ignorance is bliss every goddamn time

You’re waitin’ for the RTD on heartattack and vine

Boney’s high on China White, Shorty found a punk

Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, that’s just Screamin’ Jay when he’s drunk

Well this stuff will probably kill you, let’s do another line

What you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine

Liar, liar with your pants on fire

White spades hangin’ on a telephone wire

Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line

You’ll never recognize yourself on heartattack and vine

Doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief

Philly Joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,

If you want a taste of madness, you’ll have to wait in line

You’ll probably see someone you know on heartattack and vine

See that little Jersey girl in the see-through top

With the peddle pushers sucking on a soda pop

Well I bet she’s still a virgin but it’s only twenty-five to nine

You can see a million of ’em down on heartattack and vine

Boney’s high on China White, Shorty found a punk

Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, that’s just Screamin’ Jay when he’s drunk

Well this stuff will probably kill you, let’s do another line

What you say you meet me down on heartattack and vine

I see fellows, checkin’ out the girls

You’re lookin’ good

Lyrics courtesy: http://www.justsomelyrics.com/1151021/Screamin%27-Jay-Hawkins-Heart-Attack-%26-Vine-Lyrics