Kraft Dinner Is Going To Be On Sale

Kraft Dinner image
My Grey Matter is made of this Orange Matter

Say you are addicted to a certain kind of food like Kraft Dinner.

And let’s say you don’t have much loot and your nummy brand of crack is about to go on sale.

How elated does that make you feel?

What would you give to hit that button hard – every flippin’ day?

Buddy, I feel your pain!

Starvation Enhances Pattern Recognition

In 1997 my family and I were on government assistance (food stamps) which forced us to be extremely frugal with whatever funds were available.

Even though we were stretched big time for dough I was still on the look out for my next business concept and THE NEXT BIG THING occurred to me while tracking 700 food items from five local grocery stores to get the best deal on grub.

What I stumbled upon should have been evident to me from the outset.

After watching all these groceries going on sale and then being sold at the regular price I noticed that I could anticipate the day different products were going on sale. I recognized the sale pattern!

And my big idea was to alert other freeloaders like myself through a publication which would predict when things were going to get marked down.

This foreknowledge of upcoming coin stretching would be very valuable to the plethora of cheapskates like me and possibly the businesses who wanted to advertise to them. Hmm, maybe a magazine was in order…

Of course, this tidbit of inside information is something neither the grocery stores nor their suppliers want us to know because it kind of takes the fun out of the fairly complicated price changing game they play.

There’s A Cycle in Your Underwear

After noticing those first food sale cycles, I began to anticipate some important life sequences:

  1. Not Me Pal! – I noticed myself make the same mistake three times! I started cutting other mistake makers slack.
  2. Another Birthday?! – Employees habitual behavior often came in cycles, I prepared for it.
  3. Yikes! Red Numbers! – Business revenue cycled up and down and I went with the flow.
  4. Winter Again!? – Seasons warned me of changing weather. I got a new snow shovel for my wife.
  5. Loony Tunes – Lunar cycles are probably what is driving me crazy.
  6. Happy Days Are Gone – No male will reach his potential if he does not come to grips with female menstral cycles.
  7. The Wind & Water Will Take You – Deadly and life giving tides, currents and wind streams are everywhere.

And finally: Kraft Dinner’s Next Sale – nothing more needs to be said. 😆

The world is unfolding around us and since lots of stuff can happen during unpacking, whenever possible we should try to predict what that might be.

So far, our ability to anticipate has allowed us to inhabit the entire planet and reach for the stars – maybe its time to try it at home.

She’ll be coming around the mountain when I say she is.

Until then, hold off on your KD purchases.

Thank you, friend.

Barry Williams

Barry Williams

Much of what I write will be quite understandable to insane folks.

The rest will be, uh, less understandable...

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