Wrongaholic Twelve Steps – Step 4: Who The Hell Are You?

don't cry over split personalities graphicWhat in the world were you thinking?!

If you’ve ever heard this apprehensive question and at least somewhat understood the reason it was asked, you will easily be able to grasp today’s intriguing subject as we investigate the perplexing human condition of multiple personalities.

But even if you have never considered how a person can feel so right one moment and then so terribly wrong another, pay close attention to today’s fable because the chickens are coming home to roost.

Your Ponder Party Invitation

More than two thousand years ago, the great philosopher Socrates warned that “the unexamined life is not worth living” and his sentiment is the idea driving Step 4 of The Wrongaholic Program: Who The Hell Are You?

With Socrates’ admonition in mind we’ll jump straight into today’s journey with this fascinating statement:

You are not what you think you are… but WHAT you THINK, you are.

The ambiguity of this phrase belies a hint that humans are comprised of much more than what is visible in the moment and whatever that value may be, it is a culmination of all our thoughts and actions to date.

And when one stops to consider the incredible variety of circumstances we have encountered throughout our lives and the decisions each situation demanded from us, it should be quite easy to understand how anyone might become occasionally confused with exactly who they are or struggle with trying to be all things to all people.

The Many Mees and Theys and Thems

In order to withstand the uncertainties of existing, humans require a stable emotional core which is both resistant to change and yet instantly able to adapt to a constantly fluctuating environment.

if poison tasted better more people would take it imageThis emotionally stable control centre contains the human essence we call character and it provides a solid and predictable foundation upon which we build the person called “me”.

And while character is the force which contains our individual natures, it is not revealed directly but through limited projections of ourselves called personalities.

Some people navigate life quite sufficiently with only a few personalities but for most folks, dozens or even hundreds of separate identities are required to successfully make their way though the myriad of relationships and circumstances encountered daily.

Doh! You Wore a Suit To A Pajama Party?

This need to continuously shift from many people to being You Now generates significant psychic weight which creates effects later.

People begin to experience doubts and feel that they are acting “differently” or are perhaps “not themselves today”.

What we need to understand is that these feelings of anxiety, frustration and confusion are warnings that we’ve got too many players on the field and SOMEONE is about to be penalized.

Here are some examples of personality confusion:

  • A priest sublimates his compassionate and caring personality and portrays himself as a lover with his young parishioner.
  • A father disconnects from the personality that warily fends for his family and verbally challenges some arrogant punks in a restaurant.
  • A police officer defeats his ethical lawman personality and provides false testimony to win a high profile case.
  • A politician ignores his personality which drove him to serve his constituents and accepts the first of many bribes.

We’ve all heard stories like these and they provide ample and painful evidence that combining in-congruent personalities invariably leads to our characters being twisted to the degree that all personalities get a little wonky. People start asking if we’re “okay”.

Contemplate, Illuminate and ReCreate

As the authors of our unique, specific psychological makeup we can create as many or as few personalities as we require – without being concerned that they will be lost in the mix. They won’t.

Every closet contains a few outfits that only get worn on special occasions and that is how our characters are organized, too.

Simply choose the YOU that suits your current needs and start feeling good about living on purpose.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Wrongaholic Program Step 1 – Admit You Are Powerless Over Mistakes

Wrongaholic Program Step 2 – Everyone Makes Mistakes So Get Over It

Wrongahlic Program Step 3 – Grab The Cosmic Bull By The Horns

PS. Please watch for Step 5 of the Wrongaholic Program: The Grass Is As Green As You Are Coming Jan 2013



Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said “You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away”

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin’ punches around
And preachin’ from my chair

Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the Rollin’ Pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there’s got to be another way

Who are you?
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa …

Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?


I know there’s a place you walked
Where love falls from the trees
My heart is like a broken cup
I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole
Yet still receive your kiss
How can I measure up to anyone now
After such a love as this?

Barry Williams http://barry-williams.com/blog

Much of what I write will be quite understandable to insane folks.

The rest will be, uh, less understandable...

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Add yours
  1. 1
    Barry Williams

    As usual with me, as soon as I publish a story I get ideas beyond what I was thinking when I wrote it and I just had a graphic pop into my mind.

    What if our characters are like the center of a roll of paper towels?

    If the roll was bent to one side, the top side would be under great pressure while the bottom would appear crushed.

    Add a small bit of moisture and the top sheets in the paper towel roll will SNAP (stretched to their limit) while the bottom sheets will crumple.

    But if our characters remain fairly stable and upright, the roll of towels can easily soak up moisture on any side or from the entire bottom without risk of total collapse.

    Now, how to keep from being used as arse wipe…

    That’s another story.

  2. 2
    igor Griffiths

    Hi Barry

    Glad it is not just me then, some days it feels like I am missing out on a great party with all the voices in my head pulling me in multiple directions.

    The older generations certainly had the right idea, a little bit of contemplation every day to put your mind in the right place before you face the challenges of the day.

    Will have to start to do this myself as it is hard to remain true to yourself when you have so many ‘big voices’ calling from directions that are not part of your plan.

    • 3
      Barry Williams

      Hi Igor,

      The realization that the voices we hear are US is a tough one to grasp and one we’ll get into more depth with in a future post on the bicameral mind.

      It’s a pretty cool concept which is still debated but if correct, goes a long way to explaining why we think the way we do.

      Thanks for visiting Igor.

  3. 4
    John McNally

    “WHAT you THINK, YOU ARE.” If you believe this, (which I do), it shows how important our thoughts are. However knowing this may not help an unhappy person. How can you step outside your own thoughts in order to change them?

    I like your idea Barry, of multiple personalities analogous to different costumes in a wardrobe. I immediately thought of a Superman costume hanging next to the Flash and Green Lantern. πŸ˜† These are still costumes however, they are merely covering up your central character, (or soul).

    Get the right spin on this and you could make a fortune. 8) I’ve never read the book, or seen the film/advert, but this sounds a lot like “The Secret.”

    Keep these personalities coming Barry, so far every one of them is funny. πŸ˜†

    John McNally recently posted..What is an ALEXA Rating

    • 5
      Barry Williams

      Hey John,

      I’ve never seen The Secret either but I really like your analogy of putting on super hero suits. I could see a closet full of “mom to Jim, mom to Sally, daughter to Frank, employee to bill” suits.

      Its interesting just to imagine what some of the suits would look like and how they would tell a big part of the story itself. In fact suits carry so much power that the suit my brother and I choose for our thermal imaging business could not be worn. Too powerful – I and felt it! Due to the low credibility of our industry – too new, unproven – we decided to add credibility by wearing security guard uniforms. Cargo pants, steel toe cop boots, white shirts and black ties with cop type jackets and a seven point police officer type hat.

      I only wore the hat to a job once and it made me and the other folks in the room so uncomfortable I couldn’t do it again. I felt like I was wearing a priests robes or something, it was weird.

      Prior to that I had read a book on the psychological influence of persuasion – by Robert Cialdini – in which research showed that an unconscious power in uniforms resides in each person’s mind and I found that this power certainly does exist.

      Thanks for the encouragement on the making a fortune front and while loot is important, I know that it will flow from me first making a difference.

      Also – pretty cool about the synchronicity, no? I’m telling you friend, there’s something there!

      I learned something about flow when I was in the manufacturing business. It revolves around dependent events and statistical fluctuations and when those two aspects of manufacturing reality are known, flow can be introduced and predicted. Reality will unfold similar to plan.

      But this thing with Alexa – the chances that we would think of it at the same time – and it would be interesting to note clock times, whether they have a bearing or not.

      In the 1800’s a fellow – forget his name right now – thought that invisible waves followed some imaginary flow called magnetism. The force we are describing is the same thing but follows some sort of time pattern and each of us is immersed in our own field. Our fields interact and that is when they become visible. Once we know they exist, like magnetism, we can begin to direct them.

      Buddy, we should work on this together… A believer and a non believer. It would be fun!

      Have a good one, pal.

  4. 6
    John McNally

    PS. Synchronicity, part 2. On Friday I am going to see a Who tribute band with my mates, and the song we all have a laugh singing is the chorus “who,who….who,who”.

    Why this isn’t Synchronicity. We are both around the same age. We grew up listening to the same music. My mates…ditto. ‘The Who’ were one of the big bands, ‘Who are you’? was one of their big hits.

    John McNally recently posted..What is an ALEXA Rating

    • 7
      Barry Williams

      Hey John,

      Further to the emotional grid thing, I have done some research on a rumor that McDonald’s restaurants had developed a logarithm (can be used to describe fractals) which could predict when customers would arrive at their drive through.

      So far I have found no supporting evidence of such an equation. McDonald’s has used cameras to see when autos enter the lot or to count people in the parking lot but as far as I know, the prediction business is WIDE OPEN for us to discover.

      And all we need to do is observe our own lives and take notes. Just like we’re doing now…

  5. 8
    Bill Murney

    Hi Barry

    Well, You have just gone from the shortest post to the longest!

    I suppose most of us try to be all things to all people, it all depends on who you meet. To some people (not that many) I am an upright citizen, to my drinking friends I am rarely upright.

    Not many get to know the real person unless you have been in all kinds of situations with them, and then you really do find the true personality, I can vouch for that.

    It would be interesting to us all, to know how the world see us, but personally as far as I am concerned if you are loved by your family and friends, like a laugh, can laugh at yourself, don’t take yourself too seriously and are a man’s man then you are a winner. All the rest doesn’t matter.



    • 9
      Barry Williams

      Absolutely right, Bill.

      I wonder if charisma is a personality that really allows the character to shine though and if that isn’t the same reason that some celebrities or folks endowed with that power get into trouble when they act inappropriately?

      Maybe they’ve got 5 faces instead of 55 and in a lot of situations even if you do possess a phillips screwdriver, you need a bigger or smaller tip for the screw head to match up. When we don’t have a big enough selection of bits, shite gets scratched up and heads get stripped.

      Also, your point about the importance of us not taking ourselves too seriously – which I DID for many years – is so right on. The ability to laugh helps us avoid so much potential pain and when I do develop a product, one of them will be about implementing humor in business and life. Its critical and no one ever talked to me about it.

      Did anyone ever mention this to you Bill or how did you stumble upon the importance of poking fun at our lives?

      Thanks for your time, mister.

  6. 10
    Bill Murney

    I discovered the ability to laugh at life and myself at an early age Barry. All my working life (now over thank goodness) was spent in the construction industry where I ran my own business.

    It was hard physical work where the only relief was laughter and a drink at the end of the day. Anyone taking themselves too seriously soon had the piss taken out of them as you may well imagine.

    I have always thought that life is a game to be enjoyed and everything will take care of itself, so why worry?


  7. 11
    John McNally

    Well said Bill. I think blokes are more relaxed generally than women, because when we have the piss taken we laugh about it, whereas it just makes women angry and bitchy. All those bad thoughts ferment inside.

    Not taking yourself seriously, has to be the secret of happiness. 8)

    John McNally recently posted..Happy Sheep and Happy Artist

    • 12
      Barry Williams

      I take myself seriously but not so serious that I don’t laugh at myself and let others laugh and point and prod me, too.

      When I wake up in the morning and all the liquor is gone and the things that ARE left are upside down and all around, that’s when I stop laughing.

      Because now that I believe so strongly in laughing at myself, I’ve cut back on the laughing I do BY myself.

    • 14
      Barry Williams

      Yes, there is great reason to celebrate any new Macaroni variety but here’s some that we need!

      – a dirty water smooth cheddar macaroni dinner for Haiti.
      – a crystal meth Thirty-Six Hour macaroni for Egyptians and whomever is attempting to overthrow their governments on account of they need all the energy and imagination they can muster.
      – a floatation tank loving ninety-five minute goat cheese and thyme macaroni concoction that’s NEVER done. Ever.

      Of course, that’s just me.

  8. 15

    What a wonderful post! No idea how you were able to write this post..it’d take me weeks. Well worth it though, I’d suspect. Have you considered selling ads on your blog?

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