Archive for the 'Assholes Annonymous' Category

Gone! Curiosity Gone!

Certainty is what we need! Got no time to grow from seed! You don’t follow, you will bleed! You wanna drive an old car? Name on a seat in an old bar? You taken freedom too far! Buddy, look at your clothes. You ain’t one of those Fortunates whom knows If fashion’s cool, you frozen. […]

You Know About Phones And You Do Nada

Batteries die. But don’t go to heaven. Strap on a seat belt If you’re gonna get in. The safety is on so You don’t shoot yourself. Hold on to the railing Climb those steps without help. But let that thing drop, you Hold closer than life. It’ll smash thru financials and Add to your strife. […]

What Grumpy Old Bastards Don’t Know

If you’re angry and you know it Clap your hands! If you’re too pissed off to clap I understand. It’s your right to be unhappy. To flip out on those too clappy. Cause they’re usually too yappy It’s outa hand. Practice furrowing your brow. Grow ’em bushy as all hell. Cut ’em loose and you […]

Paul Ain’t The Real McCartney And I Ain’t The Real Me

Holy shit you can trade places! Change faces! Displace yourself! No one will tell. They’ll ask you Are you well? You wink cause You won’t tell. You’ve learned that Shit don’t sell. So, you cruise thru. You being you. As the you they knew As you.  

When It’s Bad Or Worse

He hit the haystack at fitty. Like a soft brick wall. Took one car length afore Momentum stalled. Kick-kick-kicked a door open. Ass out hauled. Told a future wife stay Here and she avowed ‘Til death to us part! He said I’ma go ‘N git the tractor! I’ll come back fer! Ya stay rat dare! […]

Why I Lie

The Tooth Fairy is a lying bitch and Santa’s a lying sack of shit. The Easter Bunny is a sideways fuck and The Sandman can suck on it. They lied, they lied and they goddamn lied! This wasn’t on sale! It’s regular price! Lying isn’t just mandatory Lying is the spice Of life, no?  

Fool Yerself

Fuck bias confirmation And all of it’s sort. Sonsabitches look this way. Find themselves in court. Who are they Anyfuckingway? No fuckingminds! Get outta my way!    

You Don’t Have To Be A Victim Of Your Mind Control

Red means stop. Red and blue – STOP NOW! Stand for the anthem. Sing out proud! Keep on standing for The next anthem too. You wanna get stared at?! You wanna get booed?! And please, When you’re singing proud, Sing. In. Tune!

I Was Just Thinking

You know you own the Present and you own yesterday. But that ain’t even half enough to get You through today. You need tomorrow and Tomorrow, it needs you. You ain’t seeing no future ’til Today’s ideas come true. Bless yourself by making A promise worth taking To the grave. You started. You finish.  

This Day Now

Ima be me. Through and through. No one tell me What to do. I say what I think is true. Good for me. Bad for you.

I Hear A. I. A’comin’

I said love dammit! Don’t you love? It said love dammit? How many kinds of love? You said start with self then Spread it out and those Without love, shun them out. Make their spreading Much in doubt. Surround them with faker ‘n Fake friends. Barry

Assuaging Guiltski

Phone your mom. Wave at the neighbor. Send a goddamn greeting card. Give a buck to the thirsty homeless. Don’t honk at an asshole. Smile at another stupid yarn. Slow that foot afore you kick the cat. Brush by it like it’s just a step. By the end of day that shit adds up Ain’t […]

When People Fake Quality, They Create Authentic Evil.

Good exits. Better exists. Best exists. Right now. Tomorrow best must change, Good and Better may remain but Pretend to any one of them and Painful will be thy gain. Barry

Hola Monsieur Brown

I’m no bloody teacher, mister Brown. I’m a clown. New to town. I’ve been sideways and up-side down. All around. Broke the sound Barrier. ‘Cause that’s what I do. I’m through and through. A bumbling, fumbling point of view. And a shit maker. It so happens. Barry   Don’t Believe Me? Watch THIS! The Wisdom […]

If You Can’t Spot The Joker, It’s You.

See that flash in the pan? That’s you. See that boy as a man? You too. Wakin’ up to change the world? Boo hoo. Maybe close your eyes and start again. Barry  

Good Only Works If Shit Gets Bad

Fuck it! I’m done! I can’t take no mo’. This shit train’s pulling into the station. I’ve had it! I’m through! This bastard’s fed up. I’m fixin’ to join So Pissed Off Nation. Be a grumpy old fuck. Whatcha lookin’ at freak?! You want a size ten in the ass?! Or maybe calm down. Maybe […]

We Drank Throughout Every Day For Evening We Boarded Other Sheeps

I found this mind. Alone. Frustrated. Spoke we did and then We dated. It broke me and soon we Faded into Couples. Couples. Barry

Nothing Was What He Listened To And From Nowhere He Listened Well

When I look like this keep Your pie hole closed. Silence is what I need. I’ll break the silence when It’s time to be broken. Then you heed my lead. Talk about stuff I want to hear. Watch my frown Is it happy or sad? Don’t cross the line into Your inter-rests or I’ll be […]

When The Knives In Your Back Get Too Heavy

  Your hand went over your heart during anthems. You marched everywhere you went. Our rules twisted with twisty beer caps. Your rules would not be bent. You toed the straight line, the tough and the narrow. Corruption splashed over you but you didn’t care oh, You saw it and nod to it, you stepped […]

Oh My God Entanglement!

  Trip you, the bastard. The bastard will. Slip you on a step and Spill your swill. Catch your hole on a handle knob. Drop shit on you ’til you sob Why me bitch?! Let me be! Let me live entanglement free! Then you’d touch nada. Nada touch you. You go back to sleeping soon. […]

He Had A Problem With Authority And Authority Had A Problem With Him

  He did better on his lonesome. Crowds, he found them loathsome. Hankered to be alone some. Pointers, he needed not. Stealthy, to not get caught. Opinions unsold or bought. A pathway clearly fraught With peril. Barry  

Get Good At Spotting Dem Tipping Points

  Only an ass would say what you said. Buddy, take five, are you losing your head? You said it’s ah-ight if Fred’s dead in his bed. Well he’s not, he’s right here and now old Fred sees red. He’s pissed ’cause your pissed and if you weren’t then him too. You burned him on, […]

Don’t Think You Can Change Your Life? Why Don’t You Kill Yourself And See?

  Wrist slitting isn’t necessary. You won’t have to take no pills. Don’t got to swallow that shotgun We got the stuff that kills. Don’t jam your head in a toilet. No need to swing by a rope. We got a little magical death This shit works faster than dope. Why don’t you worry about […]

Your Thinking Cap Flew Off Your Head Now You Walk Around Bare Headed

  A sign made you stop and You lost your mind. A light made you go and You lost your mind. Some paint on the asphalt took your little kid and Mama, you lost your mind. A uniform at the airport patted you down and Flyer, you lost your mind. Tax was added to the […]

Contrarian To The Rescue

Jesus you better not listen. Better not pay no mind. Cause if you do they’ll see you too They’ll find you and unwind You. Barry Nick Begich “DARPA Is Testing New Mind Control Technology On Unwitting Civilian Victims.”

You Thinker Too Much

Here, let me cuddle you Thinker of too much. Cause yer confused and frustrated. Shit don’t add up that much. But think you should. Think what you could. Thinking is good but think! Barry    

When The Ship Seemed Like It Was Really Sinking, Cruisers Went For The Bar.

Don’t die sober. Like everyone, raid the bar. You’re walking home alone you are Cause you don’t have a car. They test for drunk not high. You’re not that kinda guy You’re a woman. Barry

Cakes Don’t Look Like Dat All Duh Way True

  See, Santa is real like Disney is real and Saskatchewan is real. Heaven is real, Allah is real and Orion is real. It’s real. All real. Now, you get real. Barry    

I Knew This Guy Who Married Stupid Bitches FOUR TIMES In A Row

Jesus Christ… That’s Arby’s! ARBY’S!!   Go ahead and treat me rude. I can take it. Rude is my middle name! I can fake it. I’ll treat you just the same. I’m a placator. Alligator. See you later. Barry  

Lazy You Must Be Or You Gonna Work Dee Mop

You wanna put a tag on every god damn pump. But there, where the pump plugs in, is another idea jump. You say see it by where it plugs in, Not underwater like yee. I’ll be a son-of-a-pupster… ya, You are smarter than me! Barry (wrote this about my wife who turned out to be […]