Archive for the 'Dey Funny' Category

As Fast As The Pony Express

Nobody gonna pay a dollar for No goddamn greeting card! Ain’t gonna give up hard earned dough For anything so retarded! Never gonna pay no five damn bucks For a coffee just like at home! Sure as hell won’t pay an arm and leg Just for a goddamn phone! Shit don’t creep up on me, […]

The Yapping Of Cal

Maybe a feeding frenzy with Objectors plenty who Could not share and Would not dare stop their Howling near the Carcass where the Hubbub now created A circumstance unstated. Cal, he held fast to a Distant past and described it To extreme. He worded it up. It over ran our cups And once we had […]

Your Many Modes Of Transportation

Been down this road so many ways. Hope for tomorrow, sad yesterdays. Fretting, angry, why me lord? Letting go, sometimes just bored. Waiting for a visit’s end. Maybe meet an unmet friend. Find a place to have a hoot. Cops on bikes swing legal boots. Ignorance of fellow humans. So it is, I must ignore […]

They Came. They Saw. They Took It Bloody ALL!

Tomato prices went through the roof. Causa evil marijuana. Liquor sales nearly went poof! Causa evil marijuana. You hada look harder for a bar fight. Found yer car easy by daylight. Where’sa big head in the morn, right? Momma’s okay, she ain’t uptight. Time a go back buddy Got a light? Ya, thinkin’ on it […]

Authors Who Overuse Profanity

Ima write this story with No swear words. No saying f*ck. No saying duck. No saying asterisk. No saying pr*ick. (whoops) No saying sh*t and No f*ck it. Don’t be saying a*shole or Writing stupid c*nt. That reveals A no talent motherf*cker and A rather obnoxious coonster.

Boiling People

He gripped them gently. Drove not Bently. Oh, so friendly! Then the bastard lied to their face. Bastard did this sans disgrace! He could do this anyplace! Smile, and turn on a dime… Bastard!

Clones Run The Circus

They started with three rings. Twirling, burning things. They had elephants walking like people! They gave a lady a whip. Made her nearly strip. Surrounded by tigers and creeples. They came and they went. Once the money was spent. They pulled up stakes and they left. No faces were painted and The lack of paint […]

The Test For Witches

If you wear a pointy hat You’re a witch. A pointy hat and Roman nose You’re a witch. A broom that doesn’t sweep. A cauldron three kids deep. A clawed black cat asleep. You’re a witch. Prick you with a pin. If you bleed, you sin. Wrapped in rope now swim. Fugitive witch begins To […]

Love Is…

An invention to Make tension and They don’t mention At the convention That this love-in Has been shovin’ people Off the friggin edge! There’s a bad side To the mad side And it’s inside Your love. It’s got talons. And salons and it Feeds on dead love. It eats flowers and it’s powers When push […]

Bool Shat

One hundred people Can’t be wrong so they choose one To sing their song and that Song singer must be so strong Cause they will fake sing Certain songs. They know the tune but The song belongs to yesterday, Before the throng. Barry

One Shadow Weren’t Enough, The Beggar Cast Three.

He spoke from both sides his mouth. The truth he wouldn’t spit out. Yelled at his lack of clout. What’s this shit about?! He would ask Himself at night. Knew in his heart shit Wasn’t right but his Words would not stay outa sight. Bit him in the arse again. Barry

You Say You’re Sorry Like Sorrys Add Up

  How you manage such cynicism in your voice! Ya, you sound noice when We’ve got no choice We got to listen to your apology. But like, holy gee You cannot see That big pile ‘o bovine scat? Barry

Stand In This Line If You Want Shit To Fall On You

You are better than me, man. Pitty me, I just can’t Grasp reality. Not like you. You’ll just do What I can’t seem to… Barry

A Rising Tide Sinks Many Ships

  The barnacles, Bill. The barnacles will Carve us a hole. A hole that will Hit us in our gullets and Our gullets will bend us and Our unbendables. Our unbendables, Bill! Barry  

When Your Bank And Mail And Your Phone Go Missing

  Someone ain’t eating out tonight. Or driving, right? Peed off? Quite! Their damn doors are app-ed up tight. Cards ona phone now outa sight. Kinda feeling stunned and not that bright. See, they’re no longer a person. Barry  

Hah Hah! THEY Own The TV But YOU Choose The Channel!

  You watch whatever damn show you want. A mystery, a thriller, a drama. Is this show a winner or does it bomb? The script, is it short or is it long? Can each scene start with music and a song? Should this part be serious or maybe fun? C’mon, touch that dial and let […]

It Ain’t Waterboarding If It’s Doctor Pepper

I’m strong but I can’t do shit. Can you help me out a bit? See, I got some sassy soda. The kind they downan hold ya Tilya tells a littoh story. Better not be boring. Cause this sleep without snoring. Maybe without morning. Barry      

Little Man And His Mouth Full Of Gas

  So I didn’t answer you at the drop of a hat and Now you’re down, but not for that and You’ll reply with some bovine scat. Or you might just let me hang… Envy scraping your insides clean Scraping that makes you mighty mean. Might be the meanest I ever seen. If I choose […]