Archive for the 'Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Badge' Category

Kicking The Shit Outa Boris Badenov

Dude was a pansy. Skin so soft with hands he Would not use for work. Oh no, that shit he’d shirk. A well dressed man With a smart dresser tan And a wife who’s a fan Of monay. And today It’s spies on a mission So don’t you be dissin Good dressers who be kissin […]

That’s Good And Bad

The cows didn’t know that The pigs didn’t know that The chickens didn’t know that The farmer didn’t know that The banker didn’t know that The mayor didn’t know that The king didn’t know that God doesn’t run this show.

Your Arms Remember

Huffing on a gas bag. Like it was the last ride Leaving Hell at eleven. Leaving Hell going to Heaven. All abored now! Inhale deep, wow! This train leaving the station. Taking a sweet vacation. Out of the drudgery. Into the snuggly Arms of a vapor. Vapor and savior. Hitch-hiking straight 😉 to Heaven.

He Said Don’t Call Me Boy Boy

Confused, he was And not because There was no way else to be. He could but would not see. There was shit afoot And it did not look good Like right now was hooded In the cloak of history Iced with mystery Of why shit is like it is. Maybe he got no biz. Asking […]

Your Two Big Convoys

Real ugly green On some big trucks. Blue, red and black trucks Give no fucks. They see a problem We be hobblin Us, if we don’t act fast. Don’t think about the past. We believe in You deceiving The sleeping just awakened.

Too Many Bites On The Feeding Hand

Yes, he said he’d help. And he wouldn’t help just himself. He’d help with the homeless. Food and clothe and god bless He’d help the rich Even if they bitch YOU DON’T DO ENOUGH! YOU DON’T TRY TO BLUFF! YOU MAKE THINGS SO TOUGH! But, enough is enough. He can’t do no more. So, he […]

When You Love Life, You Don’t Just Love Life.

Join the moo-vement. Leave the gov-ment Whom are hell bent On your destruction. Cause leaving fucks them. And no one leaves.

Goblin Loosh

Not Today SATAN! The old fuck said. Well, he didn’t say it But the cap on his head Made damn sure that everyone read. The Loosh buffet is CLOSED, motherfuckers!

The Birds Of Eclipse

The sun went away for Many a day and no one did say We are fucked! No, instead they saw edges And the depth of those dredges Make shipment of soundings so deep. It’s marks on the handheld In waters so slightly swelled that Marks and slow sailing meant You’re in a creep. Of course, […]

Sneaking Into Heaven

There’s no I.D. Just a real stern look If you want to break in to heaven. Gates? You’ll wonder where then. Are the gates? If these deadweights Are the keys when you just want light in.


A mother and daughter. A father and husband. Three went out to fly. They didn’t think to try. To avoid the system. It is… they were some Shy to buck anything. They were the thing That syst in system. How could it forget them?! Hey! We made this place! They’d yell… disgraced. Then they’d wonder […]

Between Dawglas And Kitty-Cats

Heaven is a real place. Where real people get to. And real cats. And real dogs. And anyone who feels the draw The draw of heaven. It’s been there since Hey Zeus was a cowboy.

The Year Of The Vax

They were nice as hell but I knew damn well It wasn’t going to last. Shit was changing fast. It was all about my past They said. If I don’t listen up I’m dead. And I can’t wear a mask Instead. And shit is bad, it’s now Code red. If you can feel, then Feel […]

The Zero Dilemma Prisoner

He was right as rain. He was in no pain. He was ready to make them squeal. They were ready to make a deal. He was going to make them feel Skins of an onion. Pears that are no fun. Good that comes undone No one wants a bite. Some are fulla fright. They come […]

Say Goodmorning Avatar

The feet that hit the floor Are not yours. Nor the voice that yells at kids And opens doors. The ears that no longer hear, The belly formed of beer, The nose that you revere, Are not yours. You must leave your body. You do so every night. For bodies are small And you are […]

Hell Is A Town In Heaven

You ain’t going anywhere. Here is where you stay. Call it heaven. Call it hell. You ain’t going away. Come back as a well fed cat. Come back as a frog. You come back how ever you want. Like choosing a different job. There’s a big cat heaven And a bigger cat hell. Frogs get […]

Inside Voice

Nothing to hear. The no voice said. But that deep thought Bounced over his head For he thought every thought Was read. But cyphered in no thoughts instead Was a warning. Forlorning The place where no thoughts hid. They existed off the grid. Bin hidden since the kid Heard Don’t you think?! You little Gink? […]

Stay You

You fought like hell You know damn well You are made of steel. You won a race You won first place Billions around you reeled. Perished and they wished They were in your shoes For a chance to lose The race you now are winning.

The Lone Ranger Wore A Breathing Mask

Tonto spoke when spoken to. Not before. And he and El Arr Both had horses. And of course They both had guns. No one fucked with El Arr. Or Tonto. Same, same… same.

Hiding Like A Citizen

I know we don’t stop At Stop Signs no more. No need to see ahead So boring! Maybe a minute wait Go touring. A tour you don’t want to be on. Baby it’s about our freedom. The best come down from the blasted sky. We all get burned but none ask why. Baby, we all […]

The Silly Fuck Pandemic Is Contagious So Watch Out

Smokey balls and tall hats Shiney robes and all that Magic water, on your knees. Listen, chant, and after he’s Spoken to a god, please… Open up your heart and wallet Perpetrate a crime but call it God’s work, in Jesus name… Are you fuckers all insane?!

Love So Many People

Yes, l could hate her. She didn’t know my name. She didn’t know I came. To see her. One time I was part her. A big part now, I saw just how She argued for her weakness. I sat there keeping speachless. That pie hole closed, well, I supposed that game would make A place […]

Stress Boils

You don’t have my back. I have yours. You think I am whack. Well, of course. I am. I ran. All this way to meet you. Here in the middle. Here, we don’t fiddle With numbers Becomers. Fixin’ leaks like plumbers. We’re sinking You’re thinking Please untie the lifeboats. Then miniature like play goats We’ll […]

Living In Los Goutos

You don’t walk the streets. You get no eats. Til one of you beats the other. Ain’t no cryin’ mother! Shit you take those druthers. Put ’em where they should be. Where they never gonna see The light of day. It’s just your way I gotta say It’s okay bra It never was An you […]

Every Bit Of The Whole Damn Thing Squeezed Through Some Little Mind

He drew a big building But the building was bigger Than the biggest damn drawing he drew. He knew this through and through. All he had to do… Was putta bitta paper to pencil.

If You Have A Future, Sell It.

A credit card is an old, armed guard. Knocking on your door in the rain. Brother, he’s back again! See if he can stand the pain! Of ignorance, we’ll ignore the man. And if we can… We’ll only hit the uniform.

Fucked In The Land Of The Fucked, Isn’t Quite As Fucked.

You thought you were But here you are… Barely even fucked. You, on self destruct. You, who piss away luck. You’re back on track Cause you don’t lack The brass where brass nuts come from. Get one keep one from undone. Put an end to no one. Tell you more shit. Be done with it. […]

Get Your Own Country Before They’re All Gone!

Buddy pissed where he wanted. Just a little piss, he didn’t flaunt it. Wasn’t pissing on the neighbors. Not pissing on… (doing favors). Only non pissing on behaviors. Acting like we’re the saviors. When we can barely wait until later. When they come knock at the gate, sir. And we straight hand ’em our papers. […]

Cops And Dodgers

Old Frank Knox was a cop. An old cop who knocked off blocks. Frank didn’t spare the rod. And everywhere he trod Tho’ now it seems quite odd, If Frank gave you a nod You nodded back. There was no lack of self respect. You got all that and heck… Old Frank would kinda hug […]

How To Win The Lottery Without A Ticket

Mister Ponzi was a nice man. Carry your momma’s bags. And if she bitch ’bout bein’ ripped off? Bitch is just one a dem hags. Mister don’t care. Mister, he square. And he got de tabs to prove it! Doan belead me? Den screw it! He goan show he can do it! You goan see […]