Big Mistake Number 2 – Victimitis

As a child I remember being quite certain about the existence of rules for fair fighting.

You know, things like; no kicking folks in the head, shouting UNCLE means the scrap is over and smacking girls is way out of bounds.

It’s kind of interesting that I was never made aware of any similar protective rule which dictates the depth of flogging I should lay on myself.

Boo Who?

Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
tch your attitudes; they lead to words.

Watch your words; they lead to actions.

Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your characte
r; it determines your destiny. – author unknown

two boys fighting
Hey! No Punching with a Black Eye!

January 19, 2010 was the last day I will ever allow myself to consider Barry L. Williams a victim. On that day I received a disturbingly accusatory email from a business partner’s wife who blamed me of everything short of being Lucifer himself.

I took that razor sharp verbal machete and with great fervor and precision slashed, stabbed and shredded what limited self esteem I possessed that day.

Friggin sad. Here’s a big knife. Why don’t you stab yourself repeatedly in the heart with it…

Thankfully, I did not respond with retaliatory anger but the depth of personal assault I performed on myself shook me to my very foundation and altered my perception of reality.

A Victim’s Victim

Why I chose to think of myself as a victim, I can only guess.

It’s so easy for one thing. There’s so many of us!

I don’t believe for one second that anyone after 3 years old really wants to be victim. To me, victim-hood is a throw back to infancy, arse wiping and crying for attention.

knives stuck in bullseye target not man

See? Now try throwing them one at a time…

Maybe  I wanted to be a victim out of habit or just because it’s easier to consider being the recipient of support rather than giving it. Never-the-less, I understand there is absolutely no benefit in me considering myself to be less than my absolute potential.

Today I see too many folks suffering from a loss of personal involvement and value. Maybe it’s reading / hearing too many fear mongering headlines but whatever it is, that movement ain’t adding to the value of it’s members.

I quit the Victim Parade before it kicked off this year.

I’m hoping you pull your float, too.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Barry Williams

Much of what I write will be quite understandable to insane folks.

The rest will be, uh, less understandable...

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  1. 1

    What an incredibly well written post.

    Perhaps I feel that way because I can certainly relate to what you’re saying from my own life experience.

    And while I agree with what you’re saying, I think taking things to heart (even when done excessively) is still an indication of positive character…shows that you give a dam … that you care and have a conscience.

    The challenge is to keep the good stuff in balance so that it doesn’t end up working against us

    • 2
      Barry Williams


      Nobody has ever called me that before. Thank you.

      As far as taking things excessively to heart, isn’t that the way that all religions, etc. get started? By wackos too sold on their faith?

      Anyway, that’s what I’m doing. Employing my passion in a crazy manner in order to stand out and at least get folks discussing social concepts which quietly influence all of us.

      And as for being balanced, few folks are and I’ll be danged if I’m going to join that party. Thanks very much for your comment Taylor.

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