Let's say you're one of those folks who has never vaped potty pot pot. Well, smartypants, that's not going to help you here much is it?!
TICKETS!
Get your tickets ready please!
Oh uh, hello there. How you doing?
Listen, my name is Barry and I'm the Conductor on this train so if you need anything, you just ask me, okay?
The bathrooms are right over there and please, pick up after yourself on account of I clean the place, too.
And uh, seeing as you're not from around here I'll just tell you straight out - although every story you might hear on this train is true, some stories are "truer" than others, if you can read between the rails...
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and, y'all come back now, y'hear?
Have a grand day, friend.
TICKETS!
Barry Williams
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
barryhappywilliams@gmail.com
My heart sank as I read “A Thousand word Post…”, and then came that stupendous, magic, magic word “fifteen”. 😆 And what words Barry! I didn’t think you could do it, but you did. Fifteen words with the power of a thousand. 8)
I think it was Oscar Wilde,(or George Bernard Shaw, who apologised for the length of his letter, because “I didn’t have time to write a shorter one.”
John
John McNally recently posted..Art Marketing Success
@John McNally,
It was actually Mark Twain John, who wrote “I didn’t have time to write a short letter so I wrote a long one instead”. Just showing off my knowledge of quotes (actually I looked it up on the internet). Bill
@Bill Murney, Cor, Thanks Bill. I use that quote a lot, but I’ve always relied on my memory. 🙄
I LOVE Google, the world’s best reference book that seems to know everything. I’m thinking of starting a new religion to worship Google, but I can’t work out how to get the sex angle into it. I bet Barry could come up with a few ideas 😆
John
John McNally recently posted..Art Marketing Success
@John McNally,
That would be the only religion I might be interested in John, as for the sex, I am a yes on that one.
Bill
One day I heard an old dude say that at his age he preferred taking a good crap over having sex.
That scared me a little because I’ve always enjoyed pinching a loaf but then I figured out a way to do both at once.
Sure, the wife was a little miffed about the mess but new experiences always have SOME cost … 😎
I’m hip to starting a new religion, guys.
As an opening idea for our “rife with sexual connotations while learning anything you want” site, I would suggest a name that achieves instant recognition with our audience but still contains enough of a twist to make folks unconsciously utter: Huh?!
Perhaps we could call it “Gobble”.
You know, as in turkeys…
@John McNally, Bill, I haven’t checked this with the Great God Google, but did you know that Mark Twain was a pen name?
When he was a lad playing on the banks of the Mississippi,(ala Tom Sawyer & Huckelberry Finn) he used to watch the river boats docking. They would chuck a knotted rope over the side to check the rivers depth. He would often hear the captain shout “Mark Twain”? 8)
John
John McNally recently posted..Art Marketing Success
That’s right, John.
Mark Twain’s name was Samuel Clemens and he trained for two years to become a riverboat captain, hence his familiarity with water depth terms.
When I grow up, I want to be just like Mr. Twain but without the white clothing on account of beer steins and stains.
I’m off to Saskatoon on Friday gents and on Saturday morning I will be publishing the Wrongaholic Step 4 story. So far its the toughest fable I’ve invented and yet I truly believe that if I pull this one off, people will be better able to understand themselves.
Maybe… 😎
Later, pal.
I am working on Step 4 of the Wrongaholic program and when I finished with the third draft it was 1400 words long. It was 1000 words longer than it should be which got me to thinking: Am I getting long winded? That’s where the 15 word thing came in.
I like your blog posts because you seem to be able to say something worth reading in just a couple of minutes.
I bet you poop fast, too. I can’t because I’m so full of it…
@Barry Williams,
I did know that Mark Twain was a pen name John, but I didn’t realise how he decided upon it. Your explanation makes sense.
Bill
Hi Barry
You now hold the record for the shortest ever post online, you win again old buddie.
LEARN FROM MISTAKES –
“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” (Confucius)
THINK ABOUT OTHERS –
“Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.” (John MacNaughton)
TRY EVERTHING ONCE –
“Try everything once except folk dancing and incest.” (Sir Thomas Beecham)
“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” (Mae West)
YOU EFFECT OUTCOMES –
“Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way & expecting a different outcome” (Old Chinese Proverb)
STUFF ADDS UP –
“Inch by inch, it’s a cinch.” (Robert H. Schuller)
AND FINALLY – ON LIFE –
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?” (Sydney J. Harris)
Regards
Bill
@Bill Murney, Well done Bill. You’ve certainly given your quote book a good thumbing. 😉 I like Sir Thomas Beecham’s and Sydney J. Harris, especially “compared to what?” 8)
John
John McNally recently posted..Art Marketing Success
Yeah, I love that line, too.
Contrast in life is such a great thing to have and my favorite philosopher – Jack Handy – has that figured out.
“I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.”
Jack Handy
It don’t get much more clear than that.
Barry
Brother – can we work some kind of a tag team deal where I get the whiff of an idea and you finish it off for me?
Wow! Fantabulous, Bill!
Thanks for what is one of the best comments I’ve seen anywhere!
Hi Barry, there you go again being unique. When one reads the phrases, the mind expands. Wow with 15 words you even solved the problem of writer’s block!
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES: How true, one can write a lot about this one.
THINK ABOUT OTHERS: Well, this can be good and bad.
TRY EVERYTHING ONCE: I don’t know about this one. When the mind expands, oh boy!
YOU EFFECT OUTCOMES: In every thing you do there will always be a result. Wow! I could write forever.
Stuff ADDS UP: It sure does, things are always coming at you, like bills.
Great stuff Barry, T.
I do agree with trying almost everything once in life, it makes life more exiting, but everything?
Terry Conti recently posted..How to Kill Information Overload
@Terry Conti,
Hey Pal, thanks for the comment.
Yeah, trying everything sometimes just thinking about it really hard.
My mother in law is alive today because I only think of some of the things I would like do to her. Still gives me a small amount of satisfaction, even just dreaming about something heavy falling on her… 😎
Thank you so much for your post, Terry. Much appreciated.
Barry
Hi Barry,
I thought I’d add my 2 cents worth (that’s 2.03 cents AU).
Learn From Mistakes – Yep I learn from mistakes all the time – now if I could only remember them…
Think About Others – I always think about others – how I can screw them, how I can get on top of them…
Try Everything Once – No, can’t agree with this one, I’ve got 3 kids.
You Effect Outcomes – Yes, this it true. I have a PHD in sex – every thing I touch I screw up.
Stuff Adds Up – This is a mathematical paradox: stuff + stuff = stuff. Therefore, ‘stuff’ is infinite and hence cannot exist in our universe.
Of course I am only joking (or am I?). What you do or say can effect people in different ways.
Can I add to your 15 words with another 3:
“Know your audience”
Don
PS: I have deleted subsequent comments as I may upset some people – and that is NOT what I want to do.
Don recently posted..Eagle Rock Part 2
Cool thoughts Don.
Man, I love your sense of humor! Its dangerous, just like mine…
The only trouble is, I can see that you are wiser than me already on account of your post script. Not wanting to upset folks is usually how I start out and pissing people off is normally how I wind up…
Also – Thanks for the conductor joke, mister. I hadn’t heard that before.
Now, just to address a couple of your comments:
– learning not to remember – this is a smart move Big D, Smart.
– thinking how to screw others – well, first virgin dead, wins, I always say.
– trying everything once – the secret here is the word try. Anybody ever tell you they would TRY to make it to your party? Did they show up? Trying actually means “I’ll give it some serious thought, right here from the couch”.
– Effect Outcomes – notice I didn’t say control? Effect has the same impact on life as clean on a car. It sure helps everything look good and everybody feels great about doing something but I’m not so certain we have that big of an impact on anything.
– Stuff – I take the micro / macro approach to life. Small things that stink (take myself for example) and are left to their own devices will stink more over time. And the older I get, the quicker I pour on the natural stank. Without doing anything, my body odor just gets riper and riper until, like blue cheese, the tangs overwhelm the tastebuds. All on its own, stuff like stank, adds up.
Of course, as you have so aptly pointed out, there are exclusions from every rule but even if I don’t know about them, I seem to break them all.
I hope my lengthy answer has confused you enough to stop you from asking any more questions about this because as you may have guessed, I used up pretty much all my intellect in this reply…
A million thank yous for visiting my blog and I am certainly going to degrade yours with my presence.
Have a grand day, Don.
Hi Barry,
Short sweet and srtaight the point!
Learn from your Mistake: I think alot of people give up at this point. Once they hit a brick wall they give up. Go around or over.
Think About Others: You gain more respect and authority if you help others than pimping yourself
Try Everything Once: No regrets
You Effect Outcomes: Stop blaiming others. Its what you do that matters
Stuff Adds Up: You get busy. Get organised
How much money did you want Barry and what would you like to wet your wistle?
Cheers
Craig
Craig Sowerby recently posted..Using Private Lable Right Or Original Products
Hi Craig,
Excellent comment. Thank you.
I really like that line – “what would you like to wet your whistle?”
To me, this will be the driving force behind web 3.0. People will stop moving to the outback to earn a fortune but rather to enjoy the sense of support and community.
Yes, we should be able to earn a living here but there is much more at stake then just money. There’s hope, a sense of adventure and a desire to belong to some wider movement.
And its not a geographical location determined by race, financial stature or religion but one where the entrance fee is desire, the cost to stay is desire and the willingness to belong all stem from personal freedom.
Passing notes in school was verboten and I didn’t leave that many howdy doody letters for friends when I was a kid but now with web 3.0 everyone is leaving plenty of evidence about what they think and who they are thinking about.
Yep, all this human knowledge and caring laying around is going to change things big time.
Thanks for leaving a comment that hooked an idea from my noggin. My apologies for the length of my reply as I know this is being mailed to you, too.
Later, Craig.
Barry
Hi Barry, That’s what I call real “micro-blogging”. It reminds me of Thu Nguyen’s blog post encouraging visitors to write a haiku – bloggingfor.info/submit-your-haikus-for-blogging/ – I wrote one but it was treated as haiku spam lol. Typically I’m drawn to the short and sweet type articles but if the topic is rich and it’s broken down into bite size pieces then I don’t mind diving in for a good read. Are you going to shoot for 20 words next time? 😉 I hope so Barry, because otherwise we readers will have to fill in the blanks which makes your job too easy man. Then we’ll have to go to Barry copy-cat blogs to get our fill. Oh the pain… Steve D.
Steve@social bookmarking recently posted..Social Bookmarking For Internet Marketers
Hey buddy,
Yeah, when I saw how much word my commenters did for me, I kinda had to stop and think for a minute. But then I realized that my job was precariously hanging by a thread…
I’m way too long winded to sit quiet for long.
Thanks Steve.
Barry,
That is a short and concise post that sums up a whole lot of stuff, although I would have added two moer (try everything at least once) to take into account things like chocolate and mangoes (or whatever you favourite food might be.
Michael.
Michael Pedzotti recently posted..How many rivets in a Boeing 747
Yeah, thanks Michael.
Appreciate you stopping by.
I conceive other website owners should take this web site as an example , very clean and fantastic user pleasant style .
Yeah, I like the way you think. Thanks.