Archive for the 'Assholes Annonymous' Category

Don’t Eat That Elmer, That’s Horseshit.

Creepy travels far and fast. Packaged in a stare that lasts and lasts. Hide yourself from here and fast. Oughta give that creep a blast. Oh, wait a minute. He’s blind. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Know Yer Funnels

Eye, you’ve got shit flyin’ in. Shit from every angle. Do ya see where it’s flyin’ in from? Thousand cow burgers. Three dollar water from they’ll Never sell damn water and This shit here, it never Goes outa season! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

God’s Off The Hook Again

He didn’t save Nadine and Couldn’t bust Jerry’s kidney stones. God don’t suffer fools and when he does The non fools groan. He won’t bring peace to the middle east And he kinda lets the colors scrap. No, God don’t do that much it seems, Unanswered prayers like that. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

This Was Man Made Afraid

Ah you don’t wanna love less Your love get lost. You know damn well at Love hasa cost. It don’t take cheques and has No balances. An lordy help those overdrawn. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

See Just Below Crazy? At’s Where We’re Headed!

Shh quiet! I thought I heard something. Something I should not have heard. I shouldn’t have heard you utter ya. Utter at discouraging word. I should not. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Oh Jesus Please Tell Me That’s You

Your heart can be opened up you know. Without being opened up. Your eyes can be wide seeing nothing but scars. But not wide enough to see that thars Blinders that look nada like blinders. Grinders that surely don’t grind. And if that is you Jesus with your hand on my shoulder, Could ya take […]

Then A Guy Whose Never Had Pie In His Life Will Judge The Baking Contest

Look who runs the circus. Charging an entry fee. You just watch from here now. See here the circus free. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

What To Do When The Cattle Start Mooing

Racket next door. Do you therefore Become heat score Juss cause some cows is rustling? Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Advice Five Bucks. Prepayment Advised.

Damn rights I know. I know you don’t. Confuzzeled is where you live. And though you have no thing to offer, Two shits is what I give. Now move along. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

All Business Is Show Biziness

Why ya dint listen ta me? Why it always me, me, me? Why you refuse to see? Why this way can’t be. Why when you cut I bleed? Some’n here do need freed. Maybe that some’n is me… Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

The Trans-Lators

Hey you’ve got a tie on! I can speak to you. ‘Cause man, you’ve got a tie on and I do too! I know you. Profit motive view. Corporator you. Do it! Do it! Get down to it! Yes sir. Yep. I know you. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

I’m Not Gonna Waste Your Time. In Fact I’m Gonna Make Some.

My god you’re good at hiding mistakes. You’ve got the moves like a bad boy fakes A right while wrestlin’ Kid Reality. But The Kid don’t duck cause you telegraph see And until you know this You ain’t free. There’s no easy ride for you. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

I Want My Stories To Speak For Themselves

And they can pay any fines And do any time They need to ’cause They stand alone! Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Luke! Over Here!

Those dang magicians. They say they’re going to trick you Then they do! Astonished audiences. Devour the magic fable while sipping White gloved witches brew. They are at best confused. Which reality to refuse? The white gloves or their muse? Ah! What’s to win or lose? Just sit back now and choose To watch the […]

See The Good Lord’s Also In The Seestem

Ya got your no good guy and Your hey good guy and Your wasn’t me, Untouchable, I’m in their club guy. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

Just Killin’ Time At The House

Maybe some wouldn’t call it murder. Just Ivan doing what Ivan does. The son-of-a-pupster kills Always for fun and Ivan kills just because. Won’t look you in the eye past two seconds. Thats all then he knows what you know. He pretends that he doesn’t though That you’re in control But deep down its true, […]

Lordy, How They Loved Them Some Bacon!

There were pigs downstairs and In the next room and the Whole garage was fulla Them too and it was Pigs in the morning, Night and at lunch. They seemed to like pigs A whole damn bunch. They stank like pigs and Thought it was cool and Their clothes bore pigs And their hats and […]

Lord Don’t Git Me Outa This Place

You sir, are having a bad day. Not that it couldn’t get worse. Instead of you smouldering brightly inside You could be coinage in a goddamn purse! You could be customer #1 in a hearse! You could be crap comin’ out some stupid yap The choice, Bubbalouie, is yours. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

She Paid For Large But Wore Small

Fucking motherfucking accountants. Don’t do shit but account Accounts. Fucking motherfucking accountants. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Look Through These Cannabis Contacts

The world she is a house of mirrors. Gears and steers. Seers and queers. Shots and beers. No not here’s. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Whoa Now There’s No Problem!

One more time just Open your yap And crack! You’re gonna get it! Or maybe you won’t. Maybe keep your trap shut. Maybe shit just let’s you be. But I doubt it. Shit’s not aye be cee. It’s all over But the cryin’. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

The End Of Ash Kissing

We did it your way. Every damn time. Didn’t even whimper. Didn’t waffle or whine. Did whatever you wanted. Hoped to help you shine. But you always blew it. Every goddamn time. You ain’t no hero. Nothing sublime. You expose you whole self Ina glass of wine. Y’ain’t special! Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

Me? I’m From Das Resistance!

Someone had to tell him no. It was a no go and This was so cause we said so… And if he didn’t like it he could go To hell. Tell ‘im that… He might go to hell. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Powerlessness Was A Slack Rope To Follow

Yes you say yes. But you gotta say no. You gotta say no to make it all go Where you want it to go. The lifeboats aren’t coming back. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Oh To Be Friends With Unhappiness

Happy all the time isn’t happy. It’s sad. And happy all the time isn’t better. It’s bad. Cause happy needs contrast to really be had. And contrast to happy doesn’t mean to be a cad. It won’t reside in dad. Or suckers wearing plaid. For glad becomes a fad. A hurtful once comrade. A stark […]

Hang On Your Happy Stick

You stop a cat from gettin chopped. Thank you to your happy stick. You got two ears what ain’t bin lopped. Thank you to your happy stick. Not the most stupid by not a lot. Thanks to your happy stick. Thank you, friend. Barry out.

Lotsa People Talk To Lotsa People No Ear.

See, pardon I did not hear you. The deestance mastered us. Cause if we were hooked up in life Our ears would make no fuss. Vibration. A nation. Bite a bullet no fuss, Bitta muss. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

New Underwear New Skidmark

Ah shit is bad if He says it’s bad. No sense in wondering why. And you can’t fix it cause It’s bigger’n you an You ain’t the fixer guy. Thank you, friend. Barry out.  

When Your Stride Hits Don’t Hit Back

Sweet Jesus let me reap from grumble garden. Every goddamn problem in its own row. I’ll weed ’em and water ’em and Pick ’em when I oughta then Plant ’em upside down To reap what I sew. Thank you, friend. Barry out.    

Evil Don’t Do Mirrors

If only, papa said. Made him out loud say it cause It rattle tattled in his head. If only, papa said. If only, caused him dread. If only, so he read… Like he had a choice. Life reflected, fine. First time life’s sublime. Then oh, now. Uh oh, now. Maybe holy cow. And if only… […]