Mama Fibs A Lot About The Ghostie Guys

She said be good now Barry ’cause Santa’s watching.

I didn’t touch myself that night.

Just the thought of me ‘n Santa alone in the bathroom

Shit didn’t feel quite right.

But mama said shit was real, so it was.

How was I, a kid, to know?

When mama said this or that was true

I always agreed fo sho!

She said the tooth fairy was reaching under my pillow.

While me ‘n Santa was asleep at night.

Mama said the fairy would only leave loot

If I was a good boy, right?

Now two spooks were watching me always.

One looking close at my mouth.

Took a bit to adjust to my watchers

Haulin’ Santa and Tooth Fairy about.

Mama told me one day when I asked her.

If Santa and Tooth Fairy were real.

She said Barry, they’re not but this here is the truth,

Our lord God is the real deal!

Oh great, another guy who’s invisible.

Just hangin’ on my bathroom break.

I wondered how many ghosties are out there.

And how many spooks does it take, mama?

Barry

Muddy Magnolias – Devil’s Teeth

 

 

 

 

Sonofabitch! The Brutal Truth!

You are a body rider only

Like a well trained horse, you control your body to a certain extent, and that body allows you to ride it. Cry about it’s size or weight, your body doesn’t care. Sonofabitch will shit your pants and cramp you not to mention projectile vomit. Even caring people that treat their bodies with the utmost love and respect will be attacked and killed. Some horribly slowly. Why? Nobody knows so watch it.

Everything you know is a wrong

So this is the end of all learning? Everything is figured out? The earth was round then flat then round now flat. The table of elements started with one element. Red was red. Too fast was forty miles per hour. The Beverley Hillbillys were funny at the same time Nixon wasn’t a crook. JFK had an aneurysm and it was Oswald with maybe Ruby. Winning the lottery is a good thing and you’ll be different on vacation. Ya.

Hard gets easy

Use your body the way it uses you. Repetition direction. Talking is hard. Walking is hard. Staying calm is hard but through bitten tongue and unshat shit, hard gets easy.

Busy kids are easy money

Fuck attention deficit disorder. Our amusement park directors have so many games on the go that almost no one can walk through the playground without tossing a dart or two. Life is filled with games presented by ‘leaders’ of all sorts. Check the admission price against what you can win before stepping up to the thousand home bases.

Persistence

Doing the wrong thing three times sucks but not doing anything wrong sucks a lot more. If you are not making mistakes there is nothing new that can come to you. Learn to quickly lick your wounds, avoid self flagellation and figure out how wrong came to visit before onward marching soldier.

Understanding emotional bank accounts

Jesus I wish I had something smart to write here. I know emotional bank accounts exist and I know they can be overdrawn and contain deposits but… I’ve made deposits and found a zero balance and I’ve found an overdraft where I didn’t know I had an account so – My money is on the belief that emotional bank accounts exist but if the bank is wonky, your balance might be outa whack no matter what you do.

Shit doesn’t usually work the first time

If every improvement worked, people would be improving so much that our heads would be on bearings. This dimension contains a certain amount of fuckupery and like sand, it gets in everything. Your first one should be your worst one.

Wake Up The Dead – Reed Foehl

Your imagination is filthy

Ever had plugged sinuses? Sonofabitch can throttle you! You won’t sleep. Breathing will be thy food and tissues thy favored and necessary friend. Imaginations are the same. They plug up with bullshite we’ve been fed by well meaning government paid teachers, well meaning government paid bureaucrats, well meaning government paid politicians and well meaning government paid henchmen. Not to mention well meaning corporate types. As soon as one determines that they have heard but one slice of the people pie, that person can then begin the journey of scoping out the crust, the pan, the oven, oven timer, uh oven mitts and… you get the picture.

Mama and dada don’t always tell the ‘trute’

Santa, the easter bunny and captain kangaroo are fake. Countries are an invention. Time is an invention. Color names, invented. A pizza is loaf of bread with tomato sauce and cheese for twenty bucks. Businesses collude or gas stations are good at guessing competitor prices. Cops stretch the truth. Criminals wear suits. Prison is college for criminals. More taxes equals higher debt. The inflation rate is 300% more than we are told. Accreditation is worthless. It’ll take them 30 years to get to your street. You don’t own your home. Your family has been fractionalized without your input. Airports and cow corrals are the same.

It all comes down to money

Man, how I wish this weren’t true. Borrow money from anyone and don’t pay them back and see it your are still friends. Even parents will leave their children for the wolves if the little beggars pawn too much shite. God wants your moola. Governments want your currency. Groceries will be traded for cashola. You are worth so much and that’s it. Figure out what that number is as quickly as possible and then spend every waking moment trying to improve your monetary and synergistic value on account of nobody gives two shits about you personally. Dig it.

Notice your suspension of disbelief

Shit needs to be pondered. Considered. Reflected upon. But no one does. They meme their way through life without ever contemplating that they might be absolutely mistaken about reality. There might be no god. Sports might be rigged. Politics might be a sport. Ford might not make the best truck and solar might not be free. Mind control is a fact but the interesting part of that fact is whom is doing the mind controlling and whom is being controlled. If you’ve laughed at a television show or cursed some stupid bastard in traffic, you know what I mean. Find out who is running your mouth then get with that person and physician, heal thyself!

Hold back nothing

There might be multiple lives but so far, the jury is still out on this existence being but one of many flashes in the pan called life. My advice, after 60 years of holding back, is to not do what I have done. I waited. I hesitated. I followed others. Did as I was told. I was a good runner up and a great guy to lean on. And unhappy as shit. Only when I activated myself by learning about self actualization and it’s inner workings did I actually begin to realize my potential. That was ten years ago and I’m still a long way from topping out so for god’s sake, cut yourself loose and let the banners fly!

Why do people use guilt as a motivator?

Because it works! Guilt is responsible for twisting more guts into knots, for getting more dogs kicked and for selling more cards and flowers than any other factor. See guilt. Taste guilt. Avoid guilt by noticing it and letting it pass you by. There ain’t any medals for dying early from stress so shield the hell up against guilt!

If you do your job right, no one with think about you

Anyone who builds anything should know this. People don’t care much about who made their stuff unless it ain’t made right!

Synchronicity is a real thing

Co-incidence happens way too often to be chance. Something else is going on here. Ima ad more to this.

more coming more coming

Everlast – What It’s Like

 

 

 

The Clever Ones Needed An Infinite Fence

He said, you will be into sports.

Or religion. Or booze. Or trucks.

Maybe you’ll be into gambling.

Your life will be based on luck.

You will be hooked on fashion.

On speed and controlling the climate.

Yes, you’ll be loving that travel.

And power even if you’re buyin’ it.

You could be snagged by an address.

And a certain make of car.

No matter what it is that grabs you,

It won’t let you get too far.

Barry

The Path Will Beat You Back

 

Said, kids, don’t follow my footsteps.

I bin walkin’ backwards for some time.

Was losing myself, or so I thought.

‘Til I came upon my own back-side.

So loop if you want to follow but

Lean to the right a bit.

‘Cause your circle of concern will widen

Only if you hit the ditch.

Barry

A Reactor With Your Name On It

 

Don’t you dare mention Fukushima.

Fukushima… Fukushima!

Shut your trap about Fukushima!

Radiation. Cancer Clinics.

Say it’s the flu.

Say it’s a cold.

Put that Fukushima shit on hold!

Barry

 

Japan Already Nuked North Korea Just Ask Toshiba

Captain Fear Was In The Lock Biz

 

Lawyers, we need ’em.

Don’t you fret.

And when sumbitch won’t pay his bet then

Get one on the horn and

In a minute or two,

That damn lawyer will sue for you.

He’ll roast ’em on a spit and

The beggar won’t quit until

You go an call the dawgs off.

But for what dang reason would ya?

Barry

Take Your Seat In The Collective Unconscious

 

Little one misses her papa.

Mama misses papa, too.

Papa’s at work in a job he hates but

What’s a poor papa to do?

Papa works hard for his family.

Even though he stays away.

The very damn thing that papa wants

Keeps him distant from it every day.

Little one loves her papa.

Emulates him best she can.

And wherever papa runs out of life

Little one is also ran.

Livin’ papa like a fan.

Givin’ just a little damn.

Also hurtin’ also ran…

Barry

 

There’s A Sin-chronicity and Synchronicity

 

You call it what you will.

It is happening still.

You can’t avoid it.

Can’t destroy it.

Should enjoy it but

Sadly, you avert your eyes.

Barry

Let The Bastards Say No!

 

Jesus, he jumped this fence before…

Do they never stop cutting up land?!

Cause he jumped and jumped and jumped some more.

Jumped when he coulda made a stand.

But why run then? you might ask.

He’d say, they’re chasing is why.

So he ran and jumped and ran and jumped.

Same as any average guy.

Are the fences getting higher?

Or are my legs getting shorter?

He’d ask when the barbs bit his arse.

Fellow jumpers ignored him with

Their not yet scrapes

That they couldn’t get outa, of course.

Barry

 

You Got Your Higher Ups

 

It was tippy-toe time…

Baby does what momma wants.

Momma does what daddy wants.

Daddy hates his new soop, John.

John can’t stand vice president Ron.

Ron would love to strangle his mother-in-law Dawn.

Dawn knows Ron hates her but how she fake fawns!

Ron’s wife was her sister whom she knows belongs

In a loony bin.

Along with Ron.

Barry

 

When You’re Too Much For Just One Person

 

You must come to your senses.

They will not come to you!

You must look and look again and look again.

And look again.

And look again real hard while praying…

Praying real hard you find ’em!

Barry

 

Whom Is The Primer Of Your Pumpy Pump Pump?

 

How do you know when you’ve fallen asleep?

Do you pinch yourself from the inside deep?

Will you let that dawg lethargy creep

And gum up your works until

Dumb is sweet or

Is there a bull to grab by the horns?

Ya got some band-aids for these bloody thorns?

How’s another look besides so forlorn?

Do it friend, it’s your turn.

Barry

 

 

 

If Fear Catches Me

 

He didn’t want to be

But he was, alone.

Even his third man factor had gone.

The wind bit his face.

Dawgs on his arse.

Getting was good but the good was sparse.

Damning the torpedoes.

Ziggin’ on the zag.

Climbin’ out the box when it isn’t his bag.

Barry

If You Come Late To The Game It’s Still A Game

 

Sports for your entertainment.

A language for your entertainment.

A promise for your entrainment.

They yell Hey Asshole! (don’t turn around)

They ignite hassle. (you’re mortgage bound)

Do as directed. (don’t fool around)

Make your mind theirs (or you will be ground)

Into dust.

You’ll be busted.

A person not trusted.

They will have all now said

You’re crazy and lazy and possibly worse…

You are a believer in stupid flat earth.

Barry

God Is Watching You. Man’s In Space And If You Lie Big There’s No Disgrace!

 

He said Ya, right there, I feel something too!

What it is and what it do?

He wondered if others felt this too?

Then a name came to him…

Call it Voodoo.

Or maybe call it love.

Or home sickness.

Maybe name the land and

Let the citizens bless

The ground they walk on.

Barry

 

 

Satan! You’ll Take What I Give You!

 

Lucifer don’t bounce no checks.

Got a million accounts who will.

And Beelzebub will spill your guts

Guts spilled in cringe-worthy swill.

Ah guilt! You feel THAT!?

Anxiety too?!

Oh man, Old Slew foot, he love you!

Barry

It’s Just A Step To The Left

 

There’s a cycle and you are in it.

Lunar, circadian.

You might be Canadian.

Ultra, ultradian.

There you go, you say it again!

Quick now, stick to your march!

Make your way through Human Dead Arch.

Remember though, as you go,

Whether it be fast or slow,

You’re cycling through the moment… whoa!

Barry

Unproductive Extrapolation

 

Let’s say your world falls apart.

A couple of times a year.

Would you hang your hat from the highest tree?

Or would you quietly disappear?

If you lived through one fall

Could you build on that?

Could you find a higher tree to

Hang your hat?

Or would you say

I’ve had it!

And that is that…

Barry

 

Mamma Lied To Me An I Lied To Mamma But The Guvment Lied To Boat Of Us

There’s only one way outa

This wet paper bag and

It ain’t a going through the top.

You better like slivers and

You better like cuts because

Paper’s bringing that and bringing lots.

Your mind is being made up.

Who make up your mind?

That’s the paper bag’s weak spot.

Barry

 

SpaceX Lands Rockets & Elon Musk is a Genius

If You’ve Never Been To Heaven, Can You Tell Us What It’s Like?

He smoked marijuana.

A lot of it.

He and marijuana were a damn good fit.

He could talk about it.

Tell about it.

See it for all it’s worth.

But the folks who made marijuana laws

Made marijuana hurt.

Barry

Some Folks Get God And Other Folks, They Get Cancer.

 

Life is a pantry.

Filled or not filled.

It’s shelves can be loaded

Or everything spilled on

The floor and the door

The damn door will not open!

And it’s you on the inside

Hearing words not yet spoken

Why would you?

It’s useless…

Your pantry door’s broken.

Barry

When You Go Into The Woulds Today

 

Mother Nature is a killer.

Via leopard and cliff.

It ain’t a matter of when or how

And it ain’t a matter of if.

You’re going if you came.

With only yourself to blame cause

Not coming is the game.

Barry

 

Don’t Count Yer Downfalls Before They’ve Fallen

He set the table for no one to eat.

They were everyone gonna get beat

At cards.

He made the rules which was only no rules.

He would wind ’em up slippin’ on booze.

Then one by one, friendly, he’d use

Them.

Course they didn’t see it.

If they did, they couldn’t be it.

This thing that even buddy couldn’t hatch.

Barry

 

I See You’re Traveling With Pain Man

 

He didn’t feel when he was younger, he DID.

He didn’t think when he was younger, he SAID.

Amygdala what? when he was younger,

Hey, the pressure he was under,

Was it really any wonder

Trippin’ hard from blund to blunder,

That he cast his eyes asunder

Cause life finally had his number

And it wasn’t numero uno

Like he thought.

Barry

 

 

If You Live To A Ripe Old Age, Maybe You’ve Lived Too Long.

Man, you know it all now.

Can’t nobody tell you.

Your mind is all made up.

Made up.

Nothin’ left to make up.

Make up.

Your maybe’s are outa luck.

Barry

Your an A Hole when your Amygdala is missing!

 

The Humor HELIX

Uploaded on Nov 11, 2010

The Humor HELIX

This short video describes how humor really helps some people while driving other folks absolutely bonkers.

The theory is based on this fact:

“When Things Are Going Down-Hill, They Generally Pick Up Speed.”

Identifying parts of the Humor Helix:

– F & F stands for “Frig and Frac”.

– E & D stand for “Dang, Right On! and Eeeyaaa!”

– C stands for “See, I told you!”

– B represents “Be Careful”

– PPO stands for “Permanently Pissed Off”

– A is the entrance to the A-hold where humor resides in humorless people.

Here is how the Humor Helix works:

The Bad Humor Spiral

1. Potential humor drops out of the sky.
2. For those who are humorously inclined, the funny stuff hits our Cheer Channel and rolls in whatever direction we are heading in life..
3. For those not humorously inclined, the funny stuff passes right through the cheer channel and is caught in the A-hold area. This is why humorless folks are known as A-holds.
4. For the Bad Humor folks, funny stuff heads toward B, picking up speed along the way.
5. As the funny stuff hits the down humor helix it flies around the spirals making a distinct F sound. This is where people start to say – “For frigg’s sakes…”
6. The bad humor now flies from the helix and creates more confusion, frustration and anger, adding to the fact that this person is gradually becoming PPO – Permanently Pissed Off and in danger of becoming an A-hold.

The Good Humor Spiral

1. Potential humor drops out of the sky.
2. It automatically takes the path of least resistance and follows our natural state – in this case heading towards point C.
3.The weight of this funny stuff causes the scales to tip and the humor picks up momentum along the Cheer Channel as it heads toward D.
4. The funny stuff races around the beginning of the Humor Helix and speeds toward E.
5. As the funny stuff crashed through point E we will likely hear a verbal response from the good humored person. Something like: “Eeeyyyeeeessssss! as they fling their arms high in the air in solitary celebration.

It is through the Humor Helix that people either are positively affected by humor which invigorates their lives or they are negatively affected by humor and Permanently Pissed Off.

So be it.

Every Shitty Fan Is Covered In Shit And Wisdom, Depending On Where You Look.

 

Jesus, I could have used your name

Twenty or thirty years ago.

But you ducked under

Under my shadow.

You wouldn’t let me know.

Hung out in that fourteenth beer.

Countless times drove me safely here.

I asked for you, you disappeared.

Back then, I could have used you.

You were hidden behind if only.

If only I’d see the truth.

I would see it.

If only I’d listen to dad.

I would see it.

Cause dad didn’t see you in me.

But there you were…

Right there, under my shadow.

Barry

 

The Sickness of the 1% | Jesse Ventura Off The Grid

 

 

 

In Alive Out Dead. In Alive Out Dead. In Alive Out Dead.

 

See, it’s born and in and

Dead and out and

If you die at birth then

That’s in through out and

If you die like a baby

You’re out through in and

If you keep doing that then

Where to begin?

Barry

Harald Kautz Vella Explains Black Goo

Hear Don’t Wanna But Act On It Not

 

Self discipline is a nasty row.

A row to be hoed by one.

The row caves in just as fast as it’s dug

Like the row was never begun.

There’s no row, they say

Looking around.

There’s no row and there is no one.

No one can do it.

It can’t be done.

You might be the only one.

Barry

 

Fellow Herdling

 

No one gives a shit about you.

They DON”T! They DON”T! They DON”T!

Like the heart could care less about the gall bladder.

Take it out, it can go to hell!

Like the nasal passages care about lungs…

They DON”T! They DON”T as well!

Like the fingernail cares about snot…

Okay, it does, if that’s all you got but

It’d rather not ’cause fingers got shit to do.

But they can’t do shit without you.

Who gonna wipe that poo?

You gotta get, get it all together.

It’s a storm only you can weather.

Don’t believe me? Then better get

Good at livin’ alone.

Barry

 

Your Thinking Cap Flew Off Your Head Now You Walk Around Bare Headed

 

A sign made you stop and

You lost your mind.

A light made you go and

You lost your mind.

Some paint on the asphalt took your little kid and

Mama, you lost your mind.

A uniform at the airport patted you down and

Flyer, you lost your mind.

Tax was added to the purchase price and

Citizen, your mind was lost.

You warmed the earth through activity and

Human, your mind was fried.

The man said employee, wait in traffic and

In traffic you lost your mind.

The ad said loser, no ticket, no winning and

Gambler, you lost your mind.

Your car does one-fifty, you were clocked at ten over and

Speeder, you lost your mind.

Your leaders said buddy, you must not inhale and

Pally, you gave them your mind.

Barry