The Wondrous Hobby Of Hazard Assessing

lion taming

Pussy cats teaching Dude new tricks!


See, things aren’t as they seem.

That thick slab of concrete wall section balanced on that truck that your 19 year old son is standing beside?

It’s gonna slip off the truck and kill him in three, two, one…

Your son. Your nineteen year old, beautiful, beloved son.

Course he knew only for a second what hit him.

The end.

Hit him.

It hits everyone. Every day. The end.

When’s the end you ask?

Well, therein lies the hobby. Seeking the end.

Desperately seeking the end for children.

Searching hard for the end of adolescents. Scanning for their end, any end…

Cause the end is a beginning that sees no harm in itself.

Doesn’t see the pain it causes because it’s on to greater things.

New beginnings without whomever.

A big, ginormous new load for mama, for papa and ah, the guy who strapped that crushing load up…

The end is there waiting. It’s hiding in plain sight.

And the instant you spot the end, it vanishes.

But to where now. To where?


Taking Care Of Tomorrow’s Garbage & The Next Daze Garbage & Doing It All Today

girl praising television

You shit.

Do you know where?

You spit.

Do you even care, where, your share, of shit and spit, goes?

Jesus, to handle it. After it goes …

When it comes back …


Shit licks at you.

Mmm you smell nice dear! Here, let me nestle right into that beard …

When the spit that you spat now comes un-disappeared.

Its worse than you fear.

When shit un-disappears …

Don’t hide it to begin with.

Think of where it will pile up and

There it’s okay to over-run your cup.

But why wouldja?



Then This Monster Picked Me Up

Jimmy Saville fucking asshole animal predator

I was sitting on a ledge one day and the huge-er I know walked by.

Actually, it didn’t walk by but over to me and swooped a reacher toward my face.

Rather than ram it’s digits through the soft tissue of my eyes, it stroked my hair while I thought how easily it could crush my skull.

It didn’t and unlike so many times before it also didn’t grab me and wrench me fifty feet into the air upside-down.

I stared unafraid and as unconcerned as I could into the huge-er’s face and then, I licked my groin.

The huge-er emitted a low pitched sound as it controlled fell away from my consciousness and me … I licked my groin.

It tasted good. Very, very good.



Dee Lass Poem

His chime had still that shine

That shine of

Nothing thereness.

Cause there was never anything there to begin this

Treep into the valley.

Through the Forrest,

Lonely alleys…

We’ll meet again, lord willing.

Keeper of this park and I leave

You with a wisening,

Ain’t no color in the dark.

Thank you so very much.


Barry outty out out.





Don’t You Say Nothin’ Or Ahl Say Some’in

You bore me with predicability

Flash madness see

You kick my knee at

Set me free ta

See you.

Boo hoo.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

They Were Exactly The Same Except For Their Height

Yin is black.

Yang is white.

They are not the same!


Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Okay Dad I Got It

“If only …”

Was all he said and I

Shook my damn head

But the old beggar couldn’t

Have said more.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

And For Every Hammer A Scratch

He got drunk and fell down.

Drunk and fell down.

Couldn’t fall up.

Always fell down.

Kepp on floppin’

Always head down.

Didn’t see the scratches

Bleedin’ on the ground.

Makin’ Blood Lake an

Ah ain’t gonna drown.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Yawn To Something

A hint.

A whiff.

Is all you get.

From that you place

Your goddamn bet

And one damned bet is all you get

Bet on you pal, bet on you.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


You’re A Long Way From Terry Barry

One day he stopped yelling.

Kickin’ up dust andy

Really cut back onna

People he trust causa

Silly damn beggars put up

So much fuss that he

Jumped and left ’em wailin’ under

Their own damn bus.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Triple Ess Dee

Stop saying and start doing

The old man said to me

The utter absence of guilt and frustration

Will quickly set you free.

Then you can be

The best damn me

The world will see

Who you are.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

The Consciousness Crack

Just before sleep like

I’m drunk or dead tired isa

Fatal disjoinment who’ll likely get

Hired to slowly replace me and

Then get me fired.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

The One Way Hoss

She was rode too hard.

Put away wet, naw

The longer the trail

The slower she get an

Them reins don’t work an

She won’t go straight, she

Won’t lighten up an she

Will not wait so

What you came in on ain’t

No longer here.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


And Riding Familiarity, The Jockey Contempt.

Eye can smell you from here.

You stink like queer.

Don’t stand so near


Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Play The Bossanova

A ruler awaits.

To hell with greats.

This fellow here needs mention.

Take it on slow now.

Stopping shorta holy cow.

Savoring the lack of attention.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

On My Own, Naturally.

Nothing to see here.

Move alone little doughgie.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Mister Brown Says Shush


Do you speak babble mister Brown?


Can you rattle this clown?


Do we shut your ride down?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

The President

It’s right now stupid.

Not tomorrow and

No time now to

Settle da scoreo.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Lovz Me Some Storz & Bickel

Don’t put your mouth on that

On that!

Don’t put your mouth on that!

You’re gonna crack your yap on that!

Put your yap trap on that and nap?

Who put your yap on trap?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Stopped Eating Now They’re Dead People

Uh ya, don’t eat meat and

The carrots are staring

The potatoes have eyes are

None of you caring?

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Gods Must Be Chosen Very Carefully

God knows that you love her.

You can’t get along without him.

And pray you to the wrong god

Your prospects will dim.

Maybe they’re dimmed already.

Maybe you’ve already sinned.

Maybe you are your own god.

Whom you can forgive.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Life Has Filler

It ain’t icing all the way down.

There’s bread like stuff

Below and around and

Just below that

What can be found?

Another thick slab of icing!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



Wisdom Pinches But It’s A Hurty-Happy Pain

Don’t let the screen door

Hit you on the ass

As you scamper toward the exit.

You are going out.

You are going down.

With all the hints you couldn’t have guessed it?!

Put your damn hands out!

Before you hit the ground!

Cause when it’s lights out

The ground will smudge your crown.

You won’t see life coming.

It’ll catch you from behind.

Life will wind you up.

Keep you in a bind.

But there is a way out.

The doorway in your mind.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out



Why My Clan Matters To Me

I’m going down with the ship.

Which means it ain’t going down.

I’ll sail this beggar til she’s paid her dues,

Then I’ll refund her one hundred percent.

All it takes is a farely good rod man,

Reeling in yesterday’s catch.

Warsh it off.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.


Be Best Buds With Your Body

Oh, you’d like me to change?

Would you?

Like me to change but would you?

Would you?

You whom would, surely could,

Show me just how to change.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Ain’t No Supper Like Breakfast

When one saviour don’t wirk

There’s another.

When another savior don’t wirk

You’ll discover.

You are the savior man.

You do what saviors can.

Look to yourself

Other than

Those times when it’s time to save another.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Love Knows Shit ‘Bout Five PM And Love Takes No Weekends Off

If I could do one thing I’d

Help everyone to find what

They really love to do then

Help them build that love to the firmament.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Your Icing Is Real

There’s cake and you are eating it.

What flavor do you got?

Ain’t what you want then keep on munchin’.

More cake will be brought.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.

Reality Fades

He took a wrong turn in the corn maze.

Took a left instead of right.

He was stuck in that damn corn maze

Many bloody nights.

He fought fear of yellow kernels

And the green arms that wrapped them tight.

He heard their woody stalks calling out to him

Softly in the cool moonlight.

You’re amazed and you’re amazed

That we’ve not dispatched you yet.

But you’re still in the corn ya?

How far did you get?

Huh? What?!

Who said that…?


The kids wanna skat!

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.



Look In

Crash! Bang! Bink!

Something outside.

It wants you to look.

Look and keep looking.

Look without thinking.

Not even about the look you took.

Don’t think about thinking.

Think about drinking.

Wouldn’t an altered state be nice?

Listen, stop speaking.

Ignore the wheel squeaking.

Don’t make us tell you twice.

You stay out here now.

Outside is better.

You’re one of millions of

Once upon go getters.

Forget now, forget now.

Look here or regret it.

Thank you, friend.

Barry out.